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Post by shiftyhomunculus on Mar 19, 2018 21:19:06 GMT
Bring us your borked, your baffling, your broken and your bland - this is the Wonderful All-Encompassing Card Clinic. This is a single thread for all your card balancing and wording needs, for checking balance, assessing mechanics, cleaning up syntax, and generally making cards better. This Clinic is for those seeking advice on any or all of the following: - Balance
- Color pie
- Wording
- Art
- Flavor
- Names
This Clinic is not for advice on the following: Please come to the Clinic with specific questions; don't just post a card out of context and expect us to know what you want. For balancing queries, you should also tell us what sort of environment you're balancing for. If you're posting more than five cards at a time, please put them between spoiler tags, like so: [spoiler] Card 1 Card 2 Card 3 [/spoiler] The end result should look like this: Card 1 Card 2 Card 3
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Apr 22, 2018 8:37:20 GMT
BUMP LOL Lethargy  Enchantment - Aura  Enchant creature Enchanted creature doesn't untap during its controller's untap step. At the beginning of the upkeep of enchanted creature's controller, that player may discard a card at random. If the player does, untap that creature. Colorshifted Apathy, in the spirit of Melancholy. Is this viable?
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Post by Xenagos on Apr 22, 2018 22:32:52 GMT
@gorgonzola : Seems reasonable. Wouldn't change a thing. How about this? Flawed Invocation   Sorcery  Create a 4/4 white Angel creature token with flying. It has “Creatures your opponents control have protection from white.”
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2018 15:22:49 GMT
Xenagos : Seems fair for splashing, otherwise... meh (unless you play hyper-fast pro-flying white aggro lol) What about this one? Rakes for Rapiers   Instant  Exile up to two target creatures. Each opponent gains life equal to their total power. I feel like it might be overpowered.
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Post by voltaic-qui on Apr 23, 2018 16:39:00 GMT
Flawed Invocation   Sorcery  Create a 4/4 white Angel creature token with flying. It has “Creatures your opponents control have protection from white.” This sort of design doesn't belong at uncommon-- stuff that grants downside to your entire team is usually rare. Rakes for Rapiers   Instant  Exile up to two target creatures. Each opponent gains life equal to their total power. I feel like it might be overpowered. Yes. The added drawback relative to regular STP (every opponent gaining life instead of just the controller) is interesting in multiplayer, but white getting to exile two creatures at instant speed for three mana is still too much for the color that's not supposed to get unconditional spot removal.
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Post by Xenagos on Apr 23, 2018 17:30:59 GMT
Flawed Invocation   Sorcery  Create a 4/4 white Angel creature token with flying. It has “Creatures your opponents control have protection from white.” Version 2: Flawed Invocation    Sorcery  Create a 4/4 white Angel Illusion creature token with flying. It has “Whenever this creature becomes the target of a spell or ability, sacrifice it."
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Post by voltaic-qui on Apr 23, 2018 19:10:11 GMT
Ok, Xenagos , but why is this not just a creature?
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norench
1/1 Squirrel
Posts: 79
Favorite Card: Ashnod's Coupon
Favorite Set: Homelands
Color Alignment: Colorless
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Post by norench on Apr 23, 2018 19:52:01 GMT
Just an idea for a joke rare. Not sure it should ever be anything but that. Not sure on mana cost.
Demilitarized Zone   
World Enchantment
While Demilitarized Zone is untapped, all creatures have defender. While Demilitarized Zone is tapped, all creatures have battlecry.
, Pay 2 Life: Tap Demilitarized Zone. Any player may perform this action.
, Pay 2 Life: Untap Demilitarized Zone. Any player may perform this action.
"The battle over the rules of war proved to be deadlier than the war itself. In the end, both factions agreed to hang the rules, and more importantly, hang the negotiators." - History of the Second Dynasty, Part VI, Page 119.
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kinotherapy
6/6 Wurm
stupid kor i just fell out of the floor
Posts: 322
Favorite Card: Ruthless Raider
Favorite Set: Rising Tides
Color Alignment: Blue, Black, Red
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Post by kinotherapy on Apr 25, 2018 22:49:57 GMT
Oh hey I didn't know this thread made it over. I'm trying to make a dual land appropriate for common, thoughts on a cycle of lands like this? Flourishing MeadowLand  Flourishing Meadow enters the battlefield tapped unless you control another land named Flourishing Meadow.  : Add  or  . How about if it replaced the basic land slot? I don't into limited so I don't know if it would show up enough for the ability to be meaningful at all.
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Post by shiftyhomunculus on Apr 25, 2018 23:52:37 GMT
Fate Reforged did something similar to this by putting gainlands (occasionally fetches) in the basic slot, and that worked really well. Picking up duplicates didn't reliably happen unless it was Fate/Khans/Khans and you got lucky with the common slots of packs two and three. I suspect that'd be mitigated by three packs of (presumably) the same set, but that's still only 24 of these cards going around and, on average, two or three of each. If nobody's drafting the same color combination as you, the rider might matter now and again, but I don't think it's going to come up super often. But, for common fixing, that may not be a problem.
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Post by voltaic-qui on Apr 26, 2018 1:59:19 GMT
Oh hey I didn't know this thread made it over. I'm trying to make a dual land appropriate for common, thoughts on a cycle of lands like this? Flourishing MeadowLand  Flourishing Meadow enters the battlefield tapped unless you control another land named Flourishing Meadow.  : Add  or  . How about if it replaced the basic land slot? I don't into limited so I don't know if it would show up enough for the ability to be meaningful at all. Note that if you're following Wizards' conventions, the difference between common/uncommon duals and rare duals is that only the latter have the capacity to enter the battlefield untapped. Of course, they do this to punish you with a tempo hit for not shelling out $100 for duals, so you do you. I think this is probably not relevant enough a rider in limited.
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Post by sbq92 on Apr 28, 2018 13:38:15 GMT
I'm looking for a ruling on a particular card idea:
Double strike Whenever ~this~ would deal combat damage, you may have it deal 2 damage to target creature instead.
Because of the double strike, it seems this card should have two opportunities to deal the 2 damage to a creature. Is this right, or am I missing something?
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Post by lastaustriahungarian on Apr 28, 2018 17:11:49 GMT
Hello, new here. I have been having a idea of some industrial theme cards and those are two ideas I dont know how to deal with. Card 1Heavy Support: 7 mana Artifact creature 4/6 This creature cannot be blocked by lands or creatures with defender. When this creature attacks, other creatures attacking with it cannot be blocked if in this attack phase heavy support would not be destroyed. (example: if you are attacking with this card + a token 1/1, this token cannot be blocked if the enemy would not destroy heavy support in the process. So the enemy needs to either cast some spell, or deal enough damage (6) in order to be able to block the token) My doubts on it: how would be a ideal mana cost for it? And how do I format the wording the second ability properly?(do you find the idea interesting at all?) forward thanks Card 2: light support: 5 mana artifact creature 3/3 When this creature attacks, it cannot be blocked if the other creatures attacking with it would not be destroyed on this attack phase Its basically the opposite of the first creature. I have the same doubt: is it balance, too weak, too strong for the price in mana? And how would it be ideally written it ability?
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Post by voltaic-qui on Apr 28, 2018 18:00:09 GMT
What do you mean by "can't be blocked by lands" ? Is this a set theme? Is Dryad Arbor too powerful?
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Post by lastaustriahungarian on Apr 28, 2018 18:15:08 GMT
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Post by sbq92 on Apr 29, 2018 2:53:19 GMT
I'm looking for a ruling on a particular card idea: Double strike Whenever ~this~ would deal combat damage, you may have it deal 2 damage to target creature instead. Because of the double strike, it seems this card should have two opportunities to deal the 2 damage to a creature. Is this right, or am I missing something? That's right. However, it's " If CARDNAME would deal...", since this is a replacement effect. Thanks!
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oddnanref
3/3 Beast
 
Am I squirrel yet?
Posts: 198
Formerly Known As: Destiny, or full of yourself
Favorite Card: The one that is red and white all over
Favorite Set: The one with the new cool things
Color Alignment: White, Blue, Red
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Post by oddnanref on May 6, 2018 12:13:50 GMT
Okay, the mechanic still needs some work. I got a lot of help making it though. I am still wondering how strong this will be as a power check drawback. Which is what I intend to use it as. Well I should probably talk about the mechanic.
Sever N things (usually non severed lands)
Example:
Mana addict Selach. ::R:: Creature - Goblin Haste When ~ dies, sever a non severed land. (A severed land has no types and can only tap for ::C::.) 2/2
Several things I want to know. One, is the reminder text should mention that things can only be severed once or if it is shorter and better to say non-sevred or maybe there another option Two, any possible problems with the mechanic. I know it can colorless fix, but I am not really planning having cards that require ::C:: in their cost. Also, they should make less than ideal lands for things like eldrazi. Then again, there is a color/colorless clash. There are going to be colorless cards that have generic costs, but benefit from using specific colors to pay for the casting. So I do not think the sverering should work in unexpected ways. Correct me if I am wrong. Three, as a drawback for a card, does it work as intended in this example? Should it be an enter the battlefield trigger instead? Four, anything else that you can think of.
I will appreciate the time, taken to look at this.
PS: I intend this to work like sacrifice. However this suffers with a problem I encountered with sacrifice. Back when I started learning, I read a card with the sacrifice keyword and wondered what did it exactly do, because some cards seemed way to strong if you were sacrificing your opponent's creature. That coupled with the fact that some people at school thought that Llanowar Elves ramped you a forest, I mean allowed you to search for a forest and put it on the battle field. Has me worried that people might misunderstand what severing means. You can only do it to your own things. Like sacrifice.
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Post by Daij_Djan on May 6, 2018 15:12:23 GMT
@ lastaustriahungarian : Both of your card examples share the issue of flat out not working as intended due to how combat phases work in general. You choose attackers (then may do stuff), then choose blockers (and may do stuff again) and then the damage is dealt (and you see which creatures are "destroyed"). You won't know what is going to be destroyed in battle when it's time to announce blockers. @ oddnanref: Some questions before I can think of a "better" wording: You're only supposed to sever your own lands - and in general only nonsevered ones as well, right? You're 2/2 for  feels like it should sever as an ETB.
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oddnanref
3/3 Beast
 
Am I squirrel yet?
Posts: 198
Formerly Known As: Destiny, or full of yourself
Favorite Card: The one that is red and white all over
Favorite Set: The one with the new cool things
Color Alignment: White, Blue, Red
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Post by oddnanref on May 6, 2018 16:37:14 GMT
Daij_DjanYes, sever is supposed to work as a drawback like sacrifice. I see, I figured it was way too powerfully as a die effect. Especially since it is comparable to Goblin Guide.If it had no haste, would the drawback work as a die effect?
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Post by Daij_Djan on May 6, 2018 17:21:07 GMT
I'd say yes.
And again, you're generally supposed to only sever not already severed lands if possible, correct?
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flamingcouches
0/0 Germ
Posts: 14
Favorite Card: Progenitor Mimic/Clever Impersonator
Color Alignment: Blue, Black, Green
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Post by flamingcouches on May 6, 2018 18:05:08 GMT
Hey all, new here and have a quick question. I've been interested in posting balanced cards based on other games, and hopefully maybe even releasing a set in the Showcase sometime. (I've browsed around the community for a little while but this is my first time actually participating in it.) I've noticed a lot of cards here state a trademark and copyright of WOTC, which is expected considering most of them are original (to my knowledge). If I were to create cards based off of another game, e.g. Overwatch or Diablo or something, would I put the copyright under WOTC or the creator of the original idea? (e.g. Blizzard entertainment, in the case of overwatch. An example of what I've been putting on the cards I've been creating is below.) Thanks for your answer in advance. Hopefully that spoiler worked....{Sample Card} 
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Post by Daij_Djan on May 6, 2018 19:16:32 GMT
Many of use use the Wizards copyright as they still own MtG - so when you make cards for other card games (using their templates), you would use that game's owner. However when we're talking about some Overwatch themed MtG cards (f.e.), then the general credit still goes to WotC - whereas the artist credit (see here as well) of the image used would go to Blizzard. Sadly I can't see your render as it's invisible for me. When looking at your post's code, I first assumed your render's link simply being too long to work properly (this sometimes happens) - but when I tried to access the link directly, I wasn't granted permission to see the image (so it seems like lenght isn't the issue here). Could you upload the render elsewhere, please? 
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flamingcouches
0/0 Germ
Posts: 14
Favorite Card: Progenitor Mimic/Clever Impersonator
Color Alignment: Blue, Black, Green
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Post by flamingcouches on May 6, 2018 19:45:25 GMT
Thanks for the clarification. As for the render, it was probably the link that was too long. I'm not sure of any sites I could upload to that would be able to give shorter links, could you provide one for me? My main confusion was that I'm primarily using art inspired by games such as Overwatch, but not directly from them in most cases. Is there any place I should put the credit to the inspiration of the card in that kind of situation?
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oddnanref
3/3 Beast
 
Am I squirrel yet?
Posts: 198
Formerly Known As: Destiny, or full of yourself
Favorite Card: The one that is red and white all over
Favorite Set: The one with the new cool things
Color Alignment: White, Blue, Red
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Post by oddnanref on May 6, 2018 20:05:27 GMT
Daij_DjanYes, at least in the current set I want it to only sever non-sevred lands. I mean, if sever a non-sevred land has to be typed everytime is fine. I was just wondering if it is better to have that in the reminder text of have it written in the text itself.
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Post by Daij_Djan on May 6, 2018 20:08:26 GMT
Well, I'm using a German host personally, so I'm not sure if this really helps you  Other than that, quite a few people use imgur.com as far as I know. If the artwork is "only" inspired by Overwatch, then credit goes to the artist that got inspired by it. Which basically means if it's not an official artwork (or direct screenshots), then credit goes to the artist just as for any other picture. The inspiration doesn't matter here - if anything, the artist will give that credit 
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oddnanref
3/3 Beast
 
Am I squirrel yet?
Posts: 198
Formerly Known As: Destiny, or full of yourself
Favorite Card: The one that is red and white all over
Favorite Set: The one with the new cool things
Color Alignment: White, Blue, Red
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Post by oddnanref on May 7, 2018 4:24:13 GMT
So, got new card designs. {Vanishing}First I basically want to convey big creatures slowly dying due to the plane not being able to sustain them. So using Vanishing. Though, there are not many big creatures that use vanishing in them, so I need some help on the basic balance of the card. Basic idea: Doomed Dragon   Creature - Dragon  Flying Vanishing 3 [maybe 4 or 5?] When ~ enters or leaves the battlefield it deals 3 damage to other creatures. 7/7 I want to know if the card itself is to overpowered Ina normal standard format, or if it is underpowered. The easiest thing to change would be the p/t, then the vanishing. Although I can change the ability too. {New keyword}This part is mainly for a new keyword I was thinking: RechromatizeTo rechromatize is a keyword made to more conveniently express several instances of "If [x-mana] was used to cast ~, then it gets X". Basically it would read something like this: Stoma Cultivator  Creature - Insect  Rechromatize - (This creature gains additional effects for the colors used to cast it.) - If
, then haste - If
, then reach
2/2 I am wondering if the mechanic would be confusing and if there are better ways of phrasing the reminder text.
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kinotherapy
6/6 Wurm
stupid kor i just fell out of the floor
Posts: 322
Favorite Card: Ruthless Raider
Favorite Set: Rising Tides
Color Alignment: Blue, Black, Red
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Post by kinotherapy on May 9, 2018 23:39:03 GMT
Gonna go ahead and link these cards now that they've been judged, tho I'm here I'm more looking for feedback on the mechanic itself: How healthy a mechanic is it? My thinking it's an interactive way of doing a cost reduction mechanic but I also worry that it would be too snowbally, as your cards are basically unplayable if you're answered early or forced onto defense. oddnanref : Continuing from what daij_djan was saying on sever: As written, there's no reason you shouldn't be able to sever your already severed lands, or even severed lands you don't control. Even if it's not in the rules text it should definitely be in the reminder text. The mechanic has also memory issues so I would use counters personally, which would result in something like this: Which is now a bit wordy but that's the cost of complex mechanics. I'm not sure what else you wanted to be able to sever, but from there you could just sever multiple times if you want to sever N or something. Getting that "sever" semantic satiation. Sever sever sever For Rechromatize there's probably no clean way of doing this. I posted something pretty similar to this in the old thread but got shut down pretty hard, so I scrapped it and made it into essentially split cards instead. That was for instants and sorceries tho, for permanents your only option is likely a pseudoability with the rules text swiped from Cankerous Thirst and the like.
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TheBrokenUrn
0/0 Germ
Posts: 9
Formerly Known As: MTGEmperor
Favorite Card: Icy Manipulator (Ice Age version)
Color Alignment: Blue, Red, Green
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Post by TheBrokenUrn on May 10, 2018 1:29:25 GMT
Got a few cards to be critiqued. Do keep in mind they do not come from the same set. {Spoiler}Card 1: He Who Walks Behind Night  Legendary Creature - Giant Mutant Avatar  When ~ enters the battlefield, you may search the top X cards of your library, where X is the highest converted mana cost of permanents you control, besides this one. Exile two of them and put the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order. Whenever ~ becomes blocked, you may cast one of the exiled cards without paying its mana cost. 8/6 Card 2: Forest Ruins  Artifact - Fortification  Fortified land gains "  ,  : Secure target artifact (Until your next turn, target artifact cannot be the target of spells or abilities.)." Fortify ::2/G:: (::2/G::: Attach to target land you control. Fortify only as a sorcery. This card enters the battlefield unattached and stays on the battlefield if the land leaves.)
Secure # target <nonland permanent> (Until your next turn, targeted permanents cannot be the target of spells or abilities.)RULE: If targeted permanent is a creature, it can't be targeted as long as it's attacking or blocking.
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oddnanref
3/3 Beast
 
Am I squirrel yet?
Posts: 198
Formerly Known As: Destiny, or full of yourself
Favorite Card: The one that is red and white all over
Favorite Set: The one with the new cool things
Color Alignment: White, Blue, Red
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Post by oddnanref on May 10, 2018 5:14:04 GMT
kinotherapyIt is a little ironic how that reads so similar to my original design. Yet at the same time has better wording. Do you have a link for your mechanic similar to mine? I am curious as to how it was worded. Most of the limitations arise from the need to explain every single detail of a new mechanic. I think I can reduce the letter count from the proposed sever mechanic. When ~ dies, sever 1. (Put a sever counter on an unsevered land you control. Severed lands lose all types and only tap for  ) I want the lands to truly become nearly unusable. So even an Urborg or a Riftstone Portal cannot make them produce anything but  .
Instigate cards, to me at least, seem cards that would normally offer battalion effects, except they offer them upfront, without the need to attack. I would start from there and see how it goes.
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kinotherapy
6/6 Wurm
stupid kor i just fell out of the floor
Posts: 322
Favorite Card: Ruthless Raider
Favorite Set: Rising Tides
Color Alignment: Blue, Black, Red
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Post by kinotherapy on May 10, 2018 12:35:10 GMT
oddnanref : Here. Looking back it was just the communist dog guy slamming it I guess but whatever, I took Windy's advice in the end anyway.
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