Card of the Week Contest #429: ACME Presents...!

From Steven Universe

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Ainz Ooal Gown   

Legendary Planeswalker — Momonga    

The Goal of All Life is Death — You can’t lose the game and your opponents can’t win the game.

: Grasp Heart — The controller of up to one target creature sacrifices it. You may discard a card. If you do, put a loyalty counter on Ainz Ooal Gown.

: Summon Undead — Exile target card from a graveyard. If it was a creature card, create a black Zombie creature token with power and toughness each equal to the exiled card’s mana value.

: Gate — You get an emblem with “Once each turn, you may play a card you own from outside the game or that any player owns from exile.” You may exile your graveyard.

Starting Loyalty: 

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Ainz Ooal Gown from Overlord.

EDIT: Thanks, hydraheadhunter!



Bruce Wayne 
Legendary Creature--Human Rogue
: Choose target non-Gold permanent an opponent controls. That permanent’s controller creates X+1 colorless artifact tokens with “Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.” named Gold, where X is that permanent’s mana value. You gain control of that permanent. This ability can’t target basic lands.

Whenever another creature you control dies, if that creature wasn’t sacrificed, transform Bruce Wayne.
2/3
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Batman
Legendary Creature--Human Rogue
First strike, vigilance, trample, fear, menace

: Detain target permanent other than a basic land an opponent controls. Activate this ability only as a sorcery. (Until your next turn, that permanent can’t attack or block and its activated abilities can’t be activated.)

: Batman gains flying until end of turn.

: Batman can block an additional creature until end of turn.

At the beginning of each end step, you may transform Batman.
5/4

So, this is the art I wanna use for Bruce, but I have no idea how to make it work without squashing it:



The show's BTAS, obv.

Also, I find that as I grow older and more leftist (giving the lie to the old chestnut "A young man who isn't liberal is heartless, an old man who isn't convervative is brainless"), I realize how bloody useless Batman really is, when you take into account all the societal goods that Bruce Wayne could do with all his billions.  #EatTheRich and all that.  Thus, Bruce's ability to just buy pretty much anything.  Of course, lands get bought for cheap, because he's rich, and we can't ever escape the oligarchy, apparently.

I don't know whether manga is OK, but I go with him from Steel Ball Run.



Funny Valentine, U.S. President
Planeswalker - Valentine
: Exile target creature. If it is not legendary, return it to the battlefield at the end of turn.
: Search your library for a Valentine Planeswalker card. Reveal it and put it into your hand. Shuffle your library.
: Bring another regal deck and add your teammate. His/her turn comes after your one. (Teammate can block creatures attacking other teammate or other teammate’s planeswalker.)


* This is not legendary. It's not a misprint.
* Playing this president at 1 on 1 tournament, you play double role for -7 ability player.

   

Because someone wrote someone into existence ;-)

Is your entry named ACME Catalog or ACME toolbox?  Also, the typeline needs an m dash between its type and subtype.

Also also, the second ability is kinda nonfunctional, or at least nonsensical.  At the outset, an Equipment isn't equipped to anything (yes, I know, the "snap-on" Equipment are the exception, but even they have a brief period upon entering the battlefield where they're not attached to anything), so activating its equip ability leads to a null function.  Was this intentional?

I do think the 'soulbond'esque keywording is the best way to do this effect, even if it cause some memory issues if you get rid of the enchantment, but I'm not entirely sold on the name and would be open to suggestions.

Fixed. Turns out equipment rules are pretty strange, thanks!

Obv not. Don't you know he usually swim in it : p