<BB> Cajun's Battle Board [Cygari of the Thousand Steps]

cajun
"Michi. He said something about having to copy the letter five times or unleashing doom. He seems to not have realized that it means everyone he gives these to are risking doom. I hope he's happy. I don't even want to see what exactly it says." Lettie gingerly pulls the letter, still sealed, out of a purse with nothing else in it; she seems as though she expects it to bite her hand off, as she holds it out to Pidge. "Listen, you're the courier. Maybe you can just give this to someone you don't like, or if you want, you can have a shot at some good fortune yourself, if there are five friends you..." Lettie realizes what she's saying. "...don't want to be friends with anymore. I- I'm sure you can find them, friends, I mean, you probably... have plenty." Lettie pushes the letter forward more aggressively if Pidge hasn't already taken it. "You mai- car- you already carry mail! I've got to stay at the ga- I- stay- I have to stay at the shops and gather ingredients, and- and- and- and- and hundre- I have to feed over a hundred cats! If I'm doomed, so are they! Don't tell me you can't find one... rotten person or just five friends!" If, by this point, Pidge still hasn't taken the letter, Lettie will look like she's about to completely lose it.

Friend
Sorcery
You and target opponent each create a 3/3 green Wolf creature token.
//
Foe
Sorcery
Target creature gets -3/-3 until end of turn.
(Split card)

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Chaos Array — Big oof. Don't underestimate the swing from moving even - and + counters, before you get to more important ones.  I think some part of this needs to cost more. Otherwise, appropriate response and rarity. 7/10

"I would like that, thank you."

The woman goes about to solve her business elsewhere.

Banner of Truth is a fun Melira effect. 8/10

It is with some trepidation that Meliyah makes her way to the door of the PB&J Delivery building. Back home, the idea of interplanar travel being discussed - touted, even - so openly is unthinkable. Her abilities are a secret even to the Fifth Garden; only Arifa, her handler, knows where Meliyah really goes on holiday. The same seems to be true in most of the places she's visited... but not here.

Assuming, of course, that this outfit is genuine. Only one way to find out. Arifa had her stipend increased for a reason.

Meliyah twists her hands into a series of arcane shapes and conjures a tiny hardlight bird, holding it close to whisper a message into its core. Cradling it in her palm, she cautiously opens the door and clears her throat. "Well met. I should like to request your services, if I may. What price would you ask for a delivery to..." She pauses, trying to remember the name she's heard others call her home by. "Alkhaster?"

Lucent Courier
Enchantment Creature - Bird
Flying
When Lucent Courier enters the battlefield, sacrifice it unless you return a nonland, non-Bird permanent you control to its owner's hand.
Refract (: If this has no shine counters on it, put one on it and create a token copy of it. Refract only as a sorcery.)
2/2

Lettie becomes irritated as Pidge gives her no new information. Then she grits her teeth and claps a hand to an ear as Januti charges in.

"did... did you open it?"

Then Lettie decides it's time to yell. "No! It's obviously sealed! Are try- are you trying to be this dense? So know- coming- you're telling me you don't even know where these letters are coming from? You're the courier! What, did you not see which post... box you picked that out of? Who handed it to you for delivery? I hope you're as clueless as you look, because I'm going to turn... whoever's... doing this inside out, guts first!" For a moment, Lettie stands, breathing heavily through her teeth. After a few seconds, or if anyone tries speaking, she starts yelling again. "Bitter stars, Pidge, I'm trying to help you! I know you got cursed too, but you're not getting these letters the same way. Just... you're telling me you have nothing? ...At all? No one can solve this but you!" Lettie pinches the bridge of her nose, shuts her eyes, trying to force down the tears that are welling up. "I'm... going to tell you if I still get cursed, in spite of what... you... don't need to tell me anything. Just... figure it out... please... ..._I'm..." Lettie covers her face and vanishes, leaving behind an outline of foul fumes.

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Cursed Letter — Parts of this design feel mechanically clunky, my least favourite being the interaction of the trigger with the sacrifice ability, but it's overall a clever response, and a very clever mechanical representation of its flavour. 8/10

"Welcome to the P&J!" Pidge waves to the newcomer, looking up from some gadget she was tinkering with. Somewhere in the back, a large turtle slooooooooowly moves around packages in the back.

"I'm afraid we've not encountered an Alkhaster before. If that's a plane, maybe you've got directions, or know any of your neighbors? Otherwise, you could show us with a planeswalk...but you'd already be there, might not need our delivery anymore this time. But we'd know for any future deliveries you need!"

Carbon Copy
Artifact
Whenever a spell or ability an opponent controls creates one or more tokens, you may create those tokens, except they're artifacts in addition to their other types.

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Lucent Courier - Refract reminder is missing the 'without this ability' bit on the token. could maybe stand to be bigger but could maybe be that refract does that well enough on its own. 9/10

"Sure, I might be able to help with that." Januti replied, "Come to my house in a few days for the seat fit for your car, and I might be able to add that as a feature." He left the shop in a less than angry way, hoping to maximize what is avaliable in his hands.

The ozze collides with the staff, but quickly revolves around it, leaving it all gooey and sticky. It falls to the ground and dissapears into the warehouse. Behind it only a small, pulsating and bubbling black slime remains, like an offspring of the big one.

Spread the Invaders 
Sorcery 
Proliferate.
Populate.
"At first glance, everyone thought it was Phyrexia. But it was something older and far more evil." -Untitled Book

Staff of Balancing: Yes, I like this. And the synergy with the Germs is sweet. 10/10

"I'm afraid I don't know Cretio, but! We do know Nangjiao! Normally we might charge that extra, but I'll waive it in case it makes us late on this first one," she says with a wink. "We take payment of all types, even your native stuff'll be good so long as I can use it while I'm on Alkhaster."

Pidge looks over Kei warily. "I could... I think I'd like to see this cave, however."

Reclamation Engine
Artifact
, : Return a land card from your graveyard to your hand. You gain 1 life.

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Steady Excavator - interesting. even with a crucible i wonder if this is worth dropping early. madness with some rocks tho. 9/10


There's a flash of concern on the kithkin's face before she recovers. "I uh. We don't trade in that, no," she says bluntly.

Sales Tax Module
Artifact
Whenever an opponent draws a card, you gain 1 life.

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Hemomancer's Offer - having your opp choose means this can prob be BB, maybe even 1B safely since Loss is Bitterblossom without the flying. 8/10

The turtle grimaces at the inky black ooze. He'd encountered something like this long ago, but... different. This one seemed alive. A blue orb rose up around the offspring, then attempted to float it up.

Containment Sphere
Artifact
Flash
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield, exile it until Containment Sphere leaves the battlefield.

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Spread the Invaders - sure 9/10

A red portal vmms open behind the centaur, and a kithkin holding a baton jumps out of it.

"Mind telling me what you're up ta?" Pidge shouts at the trespasser.

Blueprint: The STOP
Artifact - Blueprint
(Unlock a blueprint ability as a sorcery by paying its unlock cost and adding a draft counter.)
[] — Whenever a creature you control is dealt noncombat damage, Blueprint: The STOP deals that much damage to that source's controller.
[] — Whenever an artifact you control deals damage to a player, draw a card.

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punch me and i'll punch back :^)
Crasher Calvary - hmm, think this outclasses Flametounge Kavu too hard. 7/10

cajun  

The intruder in question was a large, imposing centaur, standing in the wreckage of what looked like stacks of crates, holding a particularly valuable necklace in one hand. The centaur simply stared at Pidge, before a arrogant grin filled the centaur's expression.

"I'm taking the spoils of war, little one," the centaur spat out, pawing a hoof against the ground. The centaur certainly looked the part, wielding a long polearm in his free hand, and adorned in several straps of armor. "I see you have a weapon of your own. Perhaps I'll take it from your puny hands."

The centaur roared, then suddenly charged, discarding the necklace and reaching out for Pidge's baton, a look of glee on the marauder's face.

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The Stop: Overall, this is 5 mana to protect against all burn except to yourself. And get advantage for it. Compared to similar to effects such as Shaper's Sanctuary, and then some. It does have more reach than itself for the draw effect, but it is customary for artifacts to get these specific denial effects for this cost. Overall, 8/10 for concept.

cajun Sales Tax Module: Solid. Barring other cards, reads "at each opponent's upkeep gain 1 life". I almost want to say this could be . 9/10.

Nicholai then waves his hand.  "Ah, no worries then.  I only take from the willing, after all.   I do take many forms of coin, or I can barter with other items, which is also preferred." he says.  He eyes Pidge more carefully for a moment.  "Hmm... now, I wonder..." he says, setting down the crystal mentioned earlier on a convenient table, and rooting through his pockets again.

Dig Through Pockets
Sorcery
Target opponent reveals cards from the top of their library until they reveal an artifact card. That player puts all nonartifact cards revealed this way into their graveyard, then you put the artifact card onto the battlefield under your control.

He soon pulls out a ruby bracelet and looks at it with one eye closed, then back to Pidge, then back to the ruby bracelet.  "Ah, just as I suspected - this would be a perfect match for you!  The ruby's shine from the portal's light, the match with that color of your hair," he says, offering it out to her.  "Here, try it on."

One afternoon, while Pidge is out, a woman with her face hidden behind a shawl, hiding her frame under a heavy coat, steps into the office, and looks around for any familiar blue letters. She finds a spot from which no such letters are visible, and surreptitiously plants a letter of her own, in a letter tied closed with twine, with a bitter smelling plant tied into the knot. Artemesia absinthum; common wormwood. On the back is a script:

For Pidge's eyes only. Do not open in the presence of the blue letters.

The woman leaves quickly, and vanishes into foul fumes the moment she is out of sight.

Lettie takes a roundabout route returning to the bakery location, closing every single one of her shops, placing some of her wares within her coat, and smashing others to the ground, leaving as spores and vapors fly into the air. By the time she returns to the bag with her accursed letter, she's carrying a veritable arsenal, and her shawl is soaked with several neutralizers. She takes out the letter, and writes her response upon the parchment:

This curious plague that spreads through friendship,
making carriers of the beloved,
incubating in joyous share'd fortune,
before turning its wrath to the wretched.

Your point is long made, equivocator,
and I, standing alone, accept this doom.
Come then, see if you can inflict a curse,
for I will see you soon, and have face'd worse.

Pidge's interactions with Lettie's letter are best kept here. In the meanwhile, Lettie is on her board, ready to face the witch's doom.

Plague of the Past 
Sorcery
Target player reveals their hand. You choose a nonland card from it and exile it. During that player's next turn, that player may cast that card instead of playing a land.

Pidge groaned as she read the letter. The shady woman from before had not given Pidge her name, but her fascination with EPIC meant she was almost certainly connected if not this Kei herself. At least she hadn't given her the firepower to do anything worse, but she sure hadn't done anything to make things better either. Maybe she could do that now.

A red portal vmmed to life nearby the EPIC outpost, teleporting Pidge across the Arena.

"I'm here about the letter from Zeni. I don't have Kei, but I know of living space of either her or a likely accomplice."

Triumph of Kin
Sorcery
Choose a creature type. Creatures you control of that type get +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the number of creatures you control of that type.

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Moment of Crisis - 10/10

Dear Pidge,

I'm terribly sorry for how I treated you two days ago. It was shameful of me to repay your kindness with accusations and outbursts, and I hope you will forgive me. I know now that you couldn't possibly be responsible for these letters.
My alarms reported that shortly before I returned to my home, that is, shortly after you burned the letter, a creature, presumably a planeswalker, coalesced in the shadows of my home, a shadow itself, and personally delivered a copy of the letter burnt, and dictated a post script. The creature had a woman's voice, and seemed aware of our conversation. That was likely the one who signs as "J". With this information in mind, we can rule out Januti and Jhanu; they were both present when J was delivering the copy. However, this does not rule out cooperation between J and Jhanu. Use your judgment, for it's almost certainly better than mine. Finally, J's ability to take upon that gaseous form means they might be able to sneak into your mailbag. Knowing you, it's likely a magical artifact, and may have some property that would make such a thing plausible.

With respect to the letters themselves, Michi has fulfilled his, and has been rewarded with great fortune, in the form of gold, spilling out of his sketchbook. Michi also told me about the copies he had delivered.
The first went to you, Pidge. I don't need to tell you any more about that one.
The second went to some miss Jane, who is involved with a flying ship. I do not know anything about her.
The third was given to a wizard named Brayden. I know of him to an extent. He occasionally transforms into a creature not entirely his original self.
I received the fourth letter. In truth, I don't think I could fulfill it even if I wanted to, though it shames me to speak of it.
The fifth and final letter was given to a nameless boy who, according to Michi, claims to be the incarnation of an extraplanar deity, similar to the Eldrazi. Let's hope that such strange beings are above petty chain mail.

If you wish to track the passage of the letters, you can try following the three others I have mentioned above. As for the letters themselves, it seems that this witch J isn't quite like those from my home. The letters do not bear curses; those are likely delivered by J herself. The letters are at best artifacts capable of relaying information to their true master, much like my alarms. It would explain how J is able to monitor multiple letters at once, much like how I monitor my many shops. It is also why I have asked you to keep this letter away from any of J's blue letters; she is likely aware that I am resisting her, but I do not want her to be aware that I am relaying this information to you. The letters at worst, however, are utterly meaningless, and we are facing an effectively omniscient being. I pray that is not the case.

Once again, I apologize for my outburst. It will not happen again. As terrible as one curse may be, I see that you've gathered many letters, and in time, J may turn a great wrath upon you for refusing to deliver them. Even if J curses me once and I recover, I truly wish to help you survive this foe, and in time, defeat them. If you have any information that can help me do this, please send it to me in writing, and do not let that writing out of your sight, or into J's sight, before it is delivered to me.

Under the same heavens,
-Leticia Wormwood

P.S. The post script's ink almost attacked me just now. I've decided that after I deliver this to you, I will challenge J by her own letter, and face whatever comes next alone. With hope, I will find new information.

Conniving Tutor 
Sorcery
Each player searches their library for a card and puts that card into their hand, then shuffles their library.

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Impulse Implant — A really cool tribal-esque card for red, and therefore pink. It might even be appropriately costed too, and it's also a great response. 10/10