Miscellaneous Card Design Thread

Becalmed Thoughts 
Enchantment
If a player would draw one or more cards from a library that has more than sixty cards in it, that player skips those draws instead.
Communal ability—: Exile the top X cards of your library face down. Activate this ability only if your library has more than sixty cards in it.



A communal ability can be activated by any player.

So, here's an Acorn card that follows in the footsteps of Rules Lawyer.  It came about from me looking at mode 1 of Urza's Command and thinking "But what if 'until the beginning of your next turn'?  Or, better yet, 'until the beginning of your next turn's end step'?"

Temporal Expander 
Legendary Enchantment Artifact
Shroud
Each player skips their ending phase.
Turns can’t end.
If Temporal Expander would leave the battlefield, exile it instead, then end all current turns.

Bringing back the tradition by throwing my hat in the ring of designing to an old meme:



Steve 
Legendary Creature--Human Archer
This spell can’t be countered.
Flash
Haste
Hit it with your crossbow!—: Steve deals 2 damage to target creature with total combined power and toughness of X or more, where X is ten times Steve’s total combined power and toughness. Split second.
0/1



#ShitpostingOnTheSevens

Now, keep in mind that I was fighting to stay awake when this idea came to me:

Cheatyface Supreme 
Legendary Creature--Efreet
Cheatyface Supreme is simultaneously in every zone at all times. This doesn’t prevent lands from being played or sorcery-speed actions from being taken.
Flying
4/4

So, this started out as just the last two abilities, but then it ballooned from there:

Godgantua, the Soul of Naya 
Legendary Creature--Beast God
Indestructible
All creatures have vigilance, haste, “This creature attacks or blocks each combat if able”, and “This creature must be blocked if able.”
Blocking creatures have first strike.
Blocked creatures have trample.
9/4



EDIT: Here's one I designed in my sleep:

Negashade 
Creature--Shade
: Each creature gets -1/-1 until end of turn.
Whenever a creature whose power and/or toughness were reduced by an ability of Negashade’s this turn dies, put a +1/+1 counter on Negashade.
3/3

Weaponize the Ponies
Enchantment
Whenever a creature you control that’s a Horse, a Pegasus, a Unicorn, or an Alicorn is dealt damage, you may sacrifice it. If you do, it deals damage equal to its power to any target.
-------------------------------------
While feeding them a strict diet of nitroglycerin-laced rations has done wonders for their vascular systems, it’s played merry hell on their excitability!

Where I've been.

What I've been doing, cont'd:

So, Mom's tv is a "smart" Sharp Roku tv.  My biggest problem with "smart" tech is that it's only as smart as those who programmed it, and frequently, those people prove, through their various biases, that they're all dumb as hell! Lemme show you the remote:


This is the top, where you can see the volume controls on the side


And this is that side (not shown: the other side, which has a headphone jack)

This tv has about 1,000 extra channels (no, that is most emphatically NOT an exaggeration; I wish it was), and the remote, as you can see, has NO NUMERICAL KEYPAD!!!  I never before thought that this was possible, but this remote simultaneously has too many buttons, AND too few!!  Those 1 and 2 buttons, I have NO idea what they do, and those branded buttons are completely unnecessary, as their function can be achieved by hitting the back buttonat the top, then navigating a pretty easy to understand menu.  Oh, sure, the whole rig is set up to accept voice commands, but have you ever tried to use that?  Our technology is not yet equipped to handle the vagaries of human language, and I fear won't be for another couple centuries.  Plus, the number of channels I regularly watch is WAY past my standard memory capacity of 7±2.  Additionally, if you say "Fox" into the remote while wanting Fox 11, because of ALL THOSE USELESS THOUSAND EXTRA CHANNELS, you'll be taken to fox"news"  !!  Saying "KTTV" doesn't much help either, as it takes you to 11.2, a nonexistant channel, and not 11.1, like you'd actually want!

Anyway, all this is a very roundabout way of explaining that while I was away, I watched a lot of the Bon Appetit channel (channel 453), so these next eightnine designs are based on the people there (as this site's resident hypershipper, and to the surprise of no one, I ship Brad/Claire):

5/4/22


Brad Leone 
Legendary Creature--Human Dog Artisan
Haste
At the beginning of your end step, create a tapped Food token.
Sacrifice two untapped Foods: Add three mana in any combination of types.
, Tap an untapped creature you control, Sacrifice a Food: Add two mana in any combination of , , , , and/or . You gain 3 life.
If Brad Leone would attack, any player may pay or sacrifice a Food. If they do, Brad Leone can’t attack this combat.
2/4

5/4/22
Chris Morocco
Legendary Creature--Human Artisan
This spell costs less to cast for each Food on the battlefield.
When you cast this spell, create a Food token.
When Chris Morocco enters the battlefield, for each Food on the battlefield, flip a coin. If you wing that flip, create a token copy of that Food.
Chris Morocco gets +1/+1 for each Food you control.
Sacrifice three Foods: Chris Morocco gains shroud and “This creature can’t be blocked” until end of turn.
3/2

5/4/22


Claire Saffitz
Legendary Creature--Human Artisan
, , Exert Claire Saffitz: Target permanent becomes a Food artifact in addition to its other types and gains “This permanent can’t be sacrificed” until your next end step. It also gains “, , Sacrifice this permanent: You gain 3 life” indefinitely. (An exerted permanent won’t untap during its controller's next untap step.)
Choose a Food and pay its mana value, , : Create a token copy of the chosen Food. Activate this ability only if Claire Saffitz isn’t exerted.
1/3

5/4/22
Amiel Stanek
Legendary Creature--Human Artisan
When Amiel Stanek enters the battlefield, roll a d20, then create that many Food tokens.
At the beginning of your end step, roll a d10, then sacrifice all but that many Foods.
3/3

5/5/22
Gaby Melian
Legendary Creature--Human Artisan Warrior
Trample, haste
Whenever a player sacrifices a Food, put a +1/+1 counter on Gaby Melian and she deals 1 damage to any target.
Remove two +1/+1 counters from among permanents you control: Create a Food token.
1/1

5/5/22
Alex Delaney
Legendary Creature--Human Pest Artisan
Protection from Brad Leone (This creature can’t be blocked, targeted or dealt damage by Brad Leone.)
Whenever you activate an ability of a Food, copy that ability. You may choose new targets for the copy.
Whenever you sacrifice a Food, if another triggered ability would trigger, copy that ability. You may choose new targets for the copy.
3/4

5/5/22
Chef Class 
(Gain the next level as a sorcery to add its ability.)
When you cast this spell, create a Food token.
----------------------------------\/----------------------------------
: Level 2 Lorenzo Beronilla
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Mana costs you pay to activate abilities of Food cost less.
----------------------------------\/-----------------------------------
: Level 3 Frank Proto
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
: Create a Food token.
----------------------------------\/-----------------------------------
: Level 4 Rose Trout
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
If an effect would create one or more Food tokens under your control, it creates twice that many of those tokens instead.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Legendary Enchanment--Class

5/5/22
Scoville Injector 
Artifact
When Scoville Injector enters the battlefield, create two Food tokens.
Foods you control have “, , Sacrifice this permanent: This permanent deals 3 damage to any target and 1 damage to you.”

EDIT:
5/7/22
Dehydrator 
Artifact
This spell costs less to cast if you control Claire Saffitz.
This spell costs less to cast if you control Brad Leone.
, , Exert Dehydrator: Up to X target Foods gain “, , Sacrifice this permanent: Create two tapped and exerted Food tokens at the beginning of the next end step” indefinitely. This ability costs less to activate if you control Claire Saffitz and less to activate if you control Brad Leone. (It costs less to activate if you control both.)

Where I've been.

What I've been doing, pt. 3:

5/10/22
Mine-Tomb Horror 
Creature--Vampire Dwarf Horror
Casualty 2
Menace
When Mine-Tomb Horror enters the battlefield, you may search your library for any number of cards named Mine-Tomb Horror, reveal them, put them into your hand, then shuffle.
As long as you control seven or more permanents named Mine-Tomb Horror, if this permanent is a creature, it gets +1/+1 for each other permanent named Mine-Tomb Horror you control.
A deck can have any number of cards named Mine-Tomb Horror.
2/2



5/16/22
Notes: This tight design could work for all color combinations
Isolated Tidepools
Land
: Add .
, Exert Isolated Tidepools: Add . Spend this mana only to cast a monogreen spell and a monoblue spell, or to pay the mana costs of an ability with a monogreen source and an ability of a monoblue source.



5/20/22
Thunder Fractal 
Instant
Lifelink
This spell deals 3 damage to any target.



5/28/22
Peasant Class 
(Gain the next level as a sorcery to add its ability.)
This spell can’t be cast if you control any nonland permanents.
-----------------------------------\/-----------------------------------
: Level 2
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When this Class becomes level 2, you gain 5 life.
Coins you flip don’t cause abilities of other permanents to trigger.
-----------------------------------\/-----------------------------------
: Level 3 Chicken Infested
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Whenever you activate an ability, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, that ability instead creates a Chicken, a 0/1 white Bird creature token. (This includes mana abilities.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Enchantment--Class





6/4/22
NOTE: The random exile triggers, goes on the stack, and resolves before the dredging card’s return to hand. Notably, this may cause the card whose dredging triggered the exile to be exiled itself, preventing its return to hand.
Maddening Revelation 
Instant
Shuffle all cards in exile into their owners’ libraries, then you draw two cards and lose two life.
When Maddening Revelation is put into your graveyard from anywhere for the first time this game, you get an emblem with “Whenever you dredge one or more cards, exile that many random cards from your graveyard.”
Dredge 10 (If you would draw a card, you mill ten cards instead. If you do, return this card from your graveyard to your hand. Otherwise, draw a card.)
------------------------------------------------------------
“Sanity is for the weak!”
—Dobruk the Unstable



6/5/22
Unite the Winds
Sorcery
For each player, return up to one target nonland permanent to its owner’s hand, then destroy all creatures and planeswalkers. Each player discards a card for each permanent they controlled that was destroyed this way.



6/13/22 designed in my sleep
Catastrophe Wurm 
Creature--Eldrazi Wurm
Devoid (This card has no color.)
Trample, vigilance, haste
Ward—Sacrifice two nontoken permanents. (Whenever this creature becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, counter it unless that player sacrifices two nontoken permanents.)
Whenever Catastrophe Wurm would deal damage to a player or planeswalker, for each point of that damage, that player or that planeswalker’s controller may sacrifice another nontoken permanent. If they do, prevent that 1 damage.
7/8



6/25/22
Devouring Abomination 
Creature--Zombie Vampire
Lifelink, wither
------------------------------------------------
Between the two halves of its unnature, there’s never anything left of a victim to bury.
2/4



6/27/22
Inspired by the 6/7/22 Banned & Restricted Announcement's section on Pioneer's delve spells:
Dig Through Possibilities 
Sorcery
Delve (Each card you exile from your graveyard while casting this spell pays for .)
This spell is the colors of cards you exile to pay for it.
Target player gains 3 life if this spell is white.
Target player draws three cards if this spell is blue.
Add three black mana if this spell is black.
This spell deals 3 damage to any target if this spell is red.
Target creature gets +3/+3 until end of turn if this spell is green.
Until the beginning of your next turn’s end step, you may cast cards exiled to pay for this spell.



6/29/22
the "you control" of the ward ability refers to the player targeting Void Beast, not Void Beast’s controller; also, the activated ability can deal damage to noncreature artifacts and noncreature enchantments
Void Beast 
Creature--Eldrazi Beast
Devoid (This card has no color.)
First strike, vigilance, trample, reach, haste
Ward—Exile two permanents you control of Void Beast’s controller’s choice that aren’t basic lands. (Whenever this creature becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, counter it unless that player exiles two permanents they control of Void Beast’s controller’s choice that aren’t basic lands.)
If damage would be dealt to a permanent, exile that permanent instead.
: Void Beast deals 1 damage to target artifact, creature, enchantment, or planeswalker.
4/5

Yadda yadda, pt. 5:

8/16/22 Tom Smith's "A Boy and His Frog" is a weapons-grade lachrimal agent->Onion Ninjas; this card is meant for Unglued 2:


Onion Ninjas 
Creature--Vegetable Ninja
Shroud
Poisonous 4 (Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, that player gets four poison counters. A player with ten or more poison counters loses the game.)
Onion Ninjas can’t be blocked as long as defending player isn’t crying.
Ninjutsu . This ability costs less to activate for each poison counter defending player has. (, Return an unblocked attacker you control to hand: Put this card onto the battlefield from your hand tapped and attacking.)
5/4



8/16/22
Baptism in Blood 
Tribal Sorcery--Vampire
You may cast this spell as though it had flash if it targets yourself.
Target player loses 2 life and discards two cards, then draws a card and creates a Blood token for each card they discarded this way. (It’s an artifact with “, , Discard a card, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.”)
--------------------------------------------------------------
“By this sign, I desecrate you.”



8/19/22 Designed in my sleep:
The Ghost of a Chance 
Legendary Creature--Spirit
This spell can’t be countered if you pay more to cast it.
Flying, lifelink
Whenever The Ghost of a Chance leaves the battlefield, you may pay and/or and/or and/or and/or —
• —Target artifact or enchantment phases out until the beginning of your next turn’s end step.
• —Draw a card. At the beginning of the next end step, discard a card.
• —Each opponent discards a card.
• —The Ghost of a Chance deals 2 damage to target creature or planeswalker.
• —Choose land or nonland. Reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a card of the chosen kind. Put that card into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order.
2/1



8/19/22 Inspired by The Command Zone's intro:
The Mana Crucible 
Legendary Artifact
Whenever a source an opponent controls causes you to lose life, add that much mana in any combination of and/or . You don’t lose this mana as steps and phases end.
, : Add X mana in any combination of nonblack, nonred mana.



8/21/22
Peripatetics 
Sorcery
Cleave (You may cast this spell for its cleave cost. If you do, remove the words in square brackets.)
Mill fifteen cards, then return all land cards milled this way from your graveyard to the battlefield {tapped}.



8/21/22
Jace, Explorer of the Unknown 
Legendary Planeswalker--Jace
If you would draw a card, put a loyalty counter on Jace, Explorer of the Unknown instead.
: Scry X, then put the top X-3 cards of your library into your hand.
: You get an emblem with “Whenever an opponent would draw a card, that player may pay 1. If they do, they put a loyalty counter on a Jace planeswalker of your choice and draw a card. Otherwise, they put a loyalty counter on a Jace planeswalker of your choice instead.”




8/22/22
Skotha, Titan of Eternal Dark
Legendary Creature--Elder Giant
Skotha, Titan of Eternal Dark can’t enter the battlefield unless it escaped.
Whenever Skotha enters the battlefield or attacks, each opponent exiles five cards from among their graveyard, hand, and top of library.
Menace, trample
Brutemage (This creature can’t be the target of spells your opponents control with mana values less than or equal to this creature’s toughness or abilities your opponents control whose sources have mana values less than or equal to this creature’s toughness.)
Skotha’s power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards you own in exile.
You may escape Skotha from exile and from the command zone.
Escape—, Exile ten other cards from your graveyard.
*/*



8/22/22 Inspired by Threats Undetected & Frank Karsten's "fail to find" shenanigans w/Gifts Ungiven:
Perfection of Savagery 
Creature--Beast Avatar
Vigilance, trample, haste, protection from planeswalkers
Ward—Perfection of Savagery’s owner creates a token copy of it.
If this permanent or card would be shuffled into its owner’s library from anywhere, it enters the battlefield instead.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You know that cave through which we only ever see shadowed allegories of things? This thing just entered that cave to get out of the rain!
4/4



8/23/22 Inspired by Reinforced Ronin:
Coup Counter
Creature--Human Warrior
Flash
First strike, haste
Whenever Coup Counter deals combat damage, return it to its owner’s hand and create a Treasure token.
2/1



8/24/22



All Will Be One 
Legendary Tribal Enchantment--Phyrexian
This spell can’t be countered.
You control all Phyrexian permanents.
: Target permanent becomes Phyrexian in addition to its other types until end of turn. Untap it. It gains haste until end of turn.
: Target permanent becomes Phyrexian in addition to its other types.

Dawntide Cataclysm 
Enchantment
Flash
Cast this spell only during a beginning phase.
This spell costs less to cast if night became day this turn.
When Dawntide Cataclysm enters the battlefield, exile all creatures, then exile all nonland permanents until Dawntide Cataclysm leaves the battlefield. If a permanent exiled this way with mana value less than the number of illumination counters on Dawntide Cataclysm would enter the battlefield, exile it instead.
Protection from mana values greater than the number of illumination counters on Dawntide Cataclysm
At the beginning of each player’s upkeep, put an illumination counter on Dawntide Cataclysm, then return a card of that player’s choice that that player owns with mana value less than the number of illumination counters on Dawntide Cataclysm exiled by Dawntide Cataclysm to the battlefield under that player’s control.



If anyone has a better template for that last ability, please help.  In case the wording isn't clear, I'll break it down:

4 players, A B C D
A controls 3 creatures, each with mv=4
B controls an artifact with mv=1, an enchantment with mv=2, a planeswalker with mv=3, and a creature with mv=4
C controls one creature with mv=6
D controls only lands, and casts Dawntide Cataclysm during their own beginning phase

A's upkeep-1 counter on DC, A owns no permanents exiled by DC with mv<# illumination counters on DC
B's upkeep-2 counters on DC, B chooses their artifact to return
C's upkeep-3 counters on DC, C's situation is the same as A
D's upkeep-4 counters on DC, D lost no permanents to DC
We could keep going like this, but I'm sure you understand by now.  Also, D's an asshole, so he Disenchants his own DC, which means that A loses all her creatures, B loses the rest of his permanents, and C is now plotting bloody murder of D, because C has been having a really shitty day, and can't let it go.

Because fuck Teferi, Hero of Dominaria, that's why!  Also, Green needs more ways to deal with planeswalkers:

Hydra Xenophobe 
Creature--Hydra
Split second
When you cast this spell, exile all planeswalkers. Hydra Xenophobe enters the battlefield with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the total number of loyalty counters on all planeswalkers exiled this way.
Vigilance, trample, haste, protection from planeswalkers
Each planeswalker enters the battlefield with X fewer loyalty counter on it, where X is the number of counters on Hydra Xenophobe.
Remove a counter from Hydra Xenophobe: It gains shroud and indestructible until end of turn.
0/0

Another one designed partially in my sleep; this would be from the same set or block as all my Ada stuff:

The Myriad Faces of Bob 
Legendary Creature--Reflection Warrior
First strike, trample, haste
The Myriad Faces of Bob can’t be dealt noncombat damage.
Whenever this creature attacks, create a nonlegendary token copy of it. You may have that token enter the battlefield tapped and attacking.
7/1



Note: the noncombat damage ability isn't a prevention or replacement ability, it's just something that's true, like Adanto Vanguard's self-pump ability.