Silly stuff

Have an Acorn:

One with Oblivion 
Instant
Kicker—Concede the game. (You may concede the game in addition to any other costs as you cast this spell.)
You lose the game. If this spell was kicked, you win the game instead.

#ShitpostingOnTheSevens

Allstate.  Are you in good hands?

So, reading this, I got to the part about Sagauras, and my mind immediately spit out this:

Sagaura Cactus 
Creature--Plant
Defender, reach
When Sagaura Cactus enters the battlefield, search your library for an Aura Saga card and attach it to target permanent it can enchant, then shuffle.
3/5

Until end of turn, whenever target player draws a card, that player draws a card.

This was suprisingly interesting to try as a one-off because a lot of Story spotlights are overcosted noncreature cards that mean each possible monocolor take on a deck is missing something important that would make it work (Red is missing lots of cheap burn, Green is missing dorks, Blue is missing a control finisher, White doesn't have enough cards for a coherent strategy in general).

MonoBlack has enough cards that fulfill various purposes to make something that resembles a decent Starter deck - here's a rough take on it that features creating lots of artifact tokens via Dreadhorde Invasion, Traumatic Revelation, and Feed the Cauldron to support cards like Battle at the Bridge and Fanatical Offering (which also makes tokens), with Corrupt as our finisher. We have enough variety in removal that we can handle a decent number of card types. Enchantments in particular might be sore spot for the deck but it should hold up just fine at the kitchen table which is pretty nice actually considering it's 9 USD and the majority of that comes from Bitter Triumph - replace that with Murder if you want to go ultra-budget.

I don't think you can get any more decks out of this challenge if you stick to monocolor and multicolor without duals sounds like a headache so I probably woudln't go further.

Ok, but real talk?  I actually wanna see someone build this Jank.  You could call it "It Came from the Strictly Worse Cube!"

Omnath, Locus of All would like to have a word with your design sensibilities.

Hmm, that would still trigger Omnath.
How about:
Add one hundred . You can't spend this mana. If you lose any red unspent mana this turn, you lose the game.

Teferi: So, we finally get to see your fursuit, eh, Ral?

Ral: Sshhhhh!!  Uh, I mean, that's obviously Lutri, the Spellchaser!

Teferi: Oh, come off it, Zarek.  Nobody else wears that ridiculously flamboyant outfit!  It's the only thing keeping you from full on straight gay territory.

Ral: But Tomik says he loves the way I dress.  Alright, you caught me!  I'd appreciate you not letting this out to the general public.

Teferi: Dude, that ship left the harbor a while ago, and it wasn't me who swung the champaigne bottle!

Ral: D'OH!

So, Rope does one thing, but Fifty Feet of Rope does several somethings completely different.  And don't even get me started on thirty feet of rope!

#ShitpostingOnTheSevens

DUMB IDEAS FOR TRINKET TEXT:

1) Affinity for nontoken Treasures

2) Protection from you

3) Sacrifice yourself: This permanent gains indestructible until end of turn. Tap it. (Happy belated Mother's Day.)

4) When this enters, if it's day, it becomes day. If it's night, it becomes night.
Whenever day becomes day or night becomes night, remove the day/night cycle from the game.

5) Sacrifice a nontoken permanent: Return a permanent sacrificed this way to the battlefield under its owner's control.
You can't sacrifice permanents.

6) Remove all counters from a planeswalker you control: That planeswalker gains protection from everything until end of turn.

7) This creature can't be blocked unless defending player has won an EGOT.

8) Triple strike
If first strike and/or last strike damage would be dealt, 0 damage is dealt instead.

9) This creature gets -1/+1 for each land you control.
This creature gets +1/-1 for each land you control.

10) Your starting deck and sideboard can't contain any artifacts.
Whenever {N} happens, cascade to an artifact.

For April Fool's, I want each card and reminder text on Arena to be reformatted to a boustrophedon.  This may require some creatures, vehicles, planeswalkers, &/or Battles to have their stat boxen on the opposite side of the card, depending on how long the rules, reminder, and flavor texts go, but it's a sacrifice that's worth it for the sake of committing fully to the joke!