D.A.i.T.S., pt. 11: Intelligent Conversation

D.A.i.T.S., pt. 11: Intelligent Conversation Apr 3, 2020 1:35:08 GMT

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Post by sdfkjgh on Apr 3, 2020 1:35:08 GMT

This is quite possibly the stupidest deck I’ll ever build, and that’s saying something. HAH, Ral, I beat you to your own snark!

Ral: Hey, you said it, not me.

D’OH!!!

Anyway, have a dumb deck. The name is derived from the flavor text of the deck’s star card:

Intelligent Conversation

Modern-legal

4 Breeding Pool
1 Forest	Because Path to Exile exists.
2 Grove of the Guardian	Because, as I’ve said elsewhere, the best Rakdos deck that day was a bad Selesnya deck.
4 Hallowed Fountain
1 Rogue’s Passage	When you absolutely, positively got to get through.
4 Smiletrees
2 moar Temples
3 even MOAR Temples
3 Boy, this landbase is a veritable Shul Collective, isn’t it?	Quick! Shul Collective is either: A great name for a Chasidic Magic team Matisyahu’s new Calypso Rap/Rock supergroup A spicy Albanian cola How trump humorously mispronounced something completely unrelated to Shul, schools, &/or collectives All of the above.
3 Elvish Mystic
3 Voyaging Satyr
2 Vitu-Ghazi Guildmage
1 Simic Charm	You’re almost never using the first mode.
1 Fated Infatuation	Absolute zero take: Addendum is a terrible ability, especially in the way that Wizards implemented it. Having an additional effect on a card here and there is all well and good, but to unite them all under the banner of Azorius, the color combination that LEAST wants to be tapout control, is idiotic, counterproductive at best, willfully ignorant of their own game at worst, and feels like a betrayal to the control players. Considering all the seeming betrayals of the recent boneheaded “bleed the fans dry of their funds, because Toys Я Us’ bankruptcy hurt us more than we’ll EVER admit” decisions handed down from on high by the corporate overlords at Hasbro, WotC does NOT need another one.
4 Oh look, even yet MOAR Temples, again	also, too, as well. At least these are ambulatory.; They’re also the perfect secondary targets for token copying. Hit with one, make another.
4 Biovisionary	The star of the deck. Not quite as memey as Persistent Petitioners, but fucking close.
3 Chromatic Lantern	Because Blood Moon is a card. Also because even with the current manabase, this deck STILL wouldn’t function properly without it!
3 Trostani, Selesnya’s Voice	Because this slow-ass deck needs a way to not die before it gets to do its thing, and lifegain is the very definition of “not dying”.
1 Kiora, the Crashing Wave	How bad is this deck? It uses one of the worst, most underpowered, overly-timid designed planeswalkers ever printed, and it even sometimes gets to ultimate her AND have her stick around! This, of course, only really happens while goldfishing against the Face the Hydra Challenge Deck.
2 Urban Evolution	Mebbe these should be Growth Spiral instead, and be the full 4.
4 Stolen Identity	Yes, cipher isn’t well-liked, but I would contend that R&D were way too timid with it, both the effects, and the costs. Stolen Identity, Hands of Binding, and Hidden Strings are the ONLY ones they got right. They could’ve done a instant for or with cipher that gave target creature an opponent controls -1/-1 ueot, BUT NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Anyway, Stolen Identity targeting Wandering Temple, encoding onto the token copy is just hilarious.
1 Garruk, Caller of Beasts	An actual good planeswalker card? SAY IT AIN’T SO, MAN, SAY IT AIN’T SO!! Yeah, this is a bit uncharacteristic of me, but it’s happened before.¹
4 Progenitor Mimic	Oh gods, I love this card. Clone+Clone=Super Clone. The only better repeatable clonemachine is spitting on a dargon.

Sideboard:, because I suck at them:

1 Azor’s Elocutors

Because I thought it’d be funny, and apparently, this deck isn’t memey enough.

1 Army inna Box

Because why not in a deck with so many clone effects?

1 Vitu-Ghazi Guildmage

Because sometimes we just need to lower the curve, and get more early creatures.

2 Plasm Capture

Because sometimes we need more protection.

3 Simic Charm

Ditto.

1 Simic Cluestone

Because, as I’ve said countless times before, I have no fucking clue what I’m doing when it comes to sideboards.

And that’s the deck. It’s stupid, it’s terrible, it’s as fragile as trump’s ~~ego~~id ², and it kinda violates my policy of “Let every player have fun” by being an instant-win deck, but I never made any claims of consistancy in my views. Only a striving towards said goal, which makes me human.

Anyway, enough heavy-handed whatever that last paragraph was. I’ll see you all next time. Until then, thanks to Daij_Djan, and I hope at least someone enjoys these.

SPOILER: Click to show

{Footnotes}

¹	Centipedes.
	0
²	Whereas the normal Freudian trio is Id, Ego, and Superego, with all malignant narcissists, and especially with trump, the personal psychological Overton window has been moved to Ego, Id, and Superid.