Castes of Siral

Illus. Kirsi Salonen and Thomas Elliott respectively

Here is the link to the set.

drive.google.com/file/d/12pOsvsXRHSVNvKsLLlw05riGUOWq6CC-/view?usp=sharing

Card Image Gallery coming soon

First, congrats on getting the set together - it can be a tough hurdle to cross! I had some time on my hands and came up with a few card-by-card notes for you (the proofreading process is something I really enjoy). I hope this is somewhat worthwhile to you and doesn't come across as nitpicky.

White
Chivalrous Keeper – I like this card a lot. Aura should be capitalized.
Cleansing Arbiter – “When ~ enters the battlefield, exile all cards from target player’s graveyard. Distribute X +1/+1 counters among any number of creatures you control, where X is the number of cards exiled this way.”
This has the potential to be absurdly strong.
Cry of the Worldsoul – This is strictly better Wrath of God. Also, there are only three planeswalkers in the set so it feels like an odd rider.
Cunning Jailer – This feels like a very U effect (since it’s almost exactly Sand Squid). W typically does temporary tapping while U gets the full freezing effect.
Disarming Ray – Capitalize Aura and Equipment (and put them in that order). “Prevent all combat damage target creature would deal this turn. Destroy up to one target Aura or Equipment attached to that creature.”
Ferron, Skilled Diplomat – W is preventative, not reactionary. Better to set the rule than respond to it. “T: Choose target nonland permanent. Until your next turn, its activated abilities can’t be activated and its abilities don’t trigger.”
Keeper’s Resolve – You don’t have any planeswalkers that become creatures in this set so I think you can word this more cleanly.
“If enchanted permanent would die, sacrifice ~ instead. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that permanent if it’s a creature and put a loyalty counter on that permanent if it’s a planeswalker.”
Knowledge of Blades – Missing “Enchant creature”
Seyan Banisher – If this dies as an Aura is the hope that the exiled creature comes back?
Lynxpact Knight / Vale Protector – These are both 2W creatures with a keyword and an activated ability to add counters at common. I can see this being a bit confusing since they have different ability restrictions.

Blue
Aether Twirl – “Tap target nonland permanent.
Return target creature to its owner’s hand.”
or “Tap target creature and return another target creature to its owner’s hand.”
Bragvir’s Gambit – “Target creature gets -4/-0 until end of turn. Then if an instant or sorcery was expended to cast this spell, return ~ to its owner’s hand.”
Chronomancer’s Trickery – Doesn’t need ‘again’.
Kroll Witch – “~ can’t be blocked if you’ve cast two or more spells this turn.”
Madia Rasilga – Would it be easier to do “Whenever you cast a spell from your hand that targets ~, counter up to one target spell.”?
Mind’s Eye – This is an existing card name.
There’s some interesting flex within the function of different abilities. Some creatures clearly care about being the second spell you cast while others want you to cast as many as possible (like Sorcerer’s Familiar). You also have some cards that care about an expend cost being paid and others that look for what kind of card was expended (like Chronomancer’s Trickery or Unsightly Insight). It’s a bit tough to keep track of since they each function differently.

Black
Arcane Parasitism – Doesn’t need a “.” after “Enchant creature you control”
Dark Premonitions – This is a more expensive Sword-Point Diplomacy (a rare) with potential upside. It’s a neat effect, but definitely too complex for common.
Deathcast Lich (and others) – If you’re on Mainframe you can do some text chopping to keep it from bleeding into the P/T box. Make sure you have the box selected to only impact that card!
“Exile another card named ~ from your graveyard: Return ~ from your graveyard to the battlefield tapped.”
Dreadlands Impaler – Your testing may have proven otherwise, but this doesn’t feel like it needs to be more than a common.
Pit Rats – This being at instant speed can make combat pretty rough. I’d consider it at sorcery speed for common.
Revenge Fulfilled – W is usually more about vengeance than B, especially the ‘creature that dealt damage to you’ bit. I could just as easily see this as mono-W.
Slave of Death – This card is unplayable unless you have the card to expend and a creature to reanimate. That’s a lot of setup for a mythic.
“When ~ enters the battlefield, if a card was expended to cast it, return target creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield. When ~ leaves the battlefield, [sacrifice/exile] that creature."
Strike with Fear / Twisted Tutelage – Two Mind Rot effects is interesting to see. I’m not sure if a set wants multiples of these along with the creatures that cause discard incidentally.

Red
Consuming Flames – Isn’t this just Cone of Flame for 1 less?
Direflame – “~ deals X damage to any target, where X is the number of cards you own in exile.” This has the potential to be insanely strong depending on how quickly you can exile cards. At common consider this just targeting creatures.
Dragonlord Blast – Maybe just use Boulderfall's wording: “~ deals 5 damage divided as you choose among any number of targets.”
Emberling – Does the Shapeshifter type mean anything here? I imagine based on the art it should be a Goblin, Gremlin or even Elemental. Also, the naming convention N-ling is typically reserved for the rare+ cycle of creatures with multiple on-color activated abilities (think Morphling, Thornling, etc.)
Exiled Firebrand – Flavorfully odd that the Exiled Firebrand doesn’t exile itself. “… it deals that much damage plus 2 instead.”
Guardian Manticore – “… where X is its power.” Is this referring to Guardian Manticore’s power or the tapped creature’s power? Typically this effect is G when it impacts power (a la Bramblesnap).
Homeland Obliteration – “Destroy target land. Then if that land was nonbasic, return ~ to its owner’s hand.”
Mournful Comrade – Draw then discard is typically U, discard then draw is typically R. This becomes really significant card selection for a R common.
Orcish Gutwrencher – Unconditional double strike doesn’t happen at common (except in masters sets, and Two-Headed Cerberus). This is a big upgrade over Fencing Ace, traditionally an uncommon.
Plumes of Destruction – any target
Rally the Clans – “~ deals damage equal to the number of attacking creatures you control to each opponent and each planeswalker they control.”
Revert Perspective – Same as above, this effect isn’t R in spite of what Faithless Looting would have you believe (R&D has admitted that it’s a break).
Rumbleform Liege – Cool idea! Removing “until end of turn” would be the cleanest way to do this effect so that you just cast the copy right away.
Sparkeater Hellkite – “Whenever ~ attacks, each opponent sacrifices an artifact or planeswalker.”
Or "Whenever ~ attacks, defending player sacrifices a planeswalker. If that player doesn't, they sacrifice an artifact." Better than Volcanic Dragon by miles here…
Unusual Taming – This feels very RB to me to sacrifice the creature but I guess it’s a bend rather than a break.

Green
Brandishing Elf – “[cost]: Reveal cards from the top of your library until a you reveal a land card. Target creature gets +1/+1 for each card revealed this way. Shuffle the revealed cards into your library.” Not sure you want a shuffle effect every turn.
Dauntless Overgrowth – May want reminder text on the first clause: (It loses all other types and abilities.)
Flourish – Maybe try two clauses:
“You may put a land card from your hand onto the battlefield.
Search your library for a land card, reveal it, and put it into your hand. Then shuffle your library.”
Grand Appearance – “Reveal the top four cards of your library. You may put a card from among them that shares a name with a permanent you control into your hand. Put the rest on the bottom of your library in any order.” This is pretty narrow. I imagine you’re probably not hitting on anything but basic lands in most cases.
Greenfist Provoker – Tiny bit sad that it doesn’t have the ability ‘provoke.’ Its ability grants itself Pitfall 4, which is inherently better than its native 3G cost. Perhaps it should be “Each other creature you control…”?
Hexglow Spider – “Discard an Aura card: Regenerate ~.”
Hunt the Lost – Seems very bad compared to several other fight spells. This is also very close to the flavor text for Hunt the Weak, the likely analog here.
Primeval Genesis – “As an additional cost to cast this spell, exile any number of creature cards from your graveyard.
Create a 0/0 green Elemental creature token. Put X +1/+1 counters on it, where X is the total power of creature cards exiled while casting this spell.”
SBAs aren’t checked during the resolution of the spell so the creature won’t die in the meantime.
Primordial Atronach – There are no good ways to get rid of this short of boardwipes (of which there is only one in the set) or combat. I can see this being quite oppressive.
Wingless Guardian – Cool design!
Worldrender Hydra – “If this spell is be countered, put it into its owner’s hand instead of into that player’s graveyard.
Trample, hexproof
~ enters the battlefield with X +1/+1 counters on it.”
This is the second trample & hexproof mythic beater. Pretty scary.

Multicolor
Shimmering Dawn – This is Gleam of Battle + Death’s Presence (mostly), a total of 13 mana worth of enchantments on a 4-mana card. This seems far too strong for its cost.
Celestial Snare – “Exile target attacking creature. Its controller loses life equal to the number of cards you own in exile.”
Fieldtreader Paladin – Seems bad to give your opponents life too.
Fluxform Tutelage – This is underwhelming for a rare and doesn’t feel particularly R.
Kroll Trickster – “[cost], Sacrifice ~: Put target instant or sorcery card from your graveyard on top of your library.” Graveyard and library both denote ownership so you only need to reference it once.
Shot in the Dark – “As an additional cost to cast this spell, sacrifice a creature.”
Cling to Survival – I’m not entirely sure, but I think that without a ‘may’ clause this can create an infinite loop with a single valid creature target.
Ghostly Shield – “Choose target creature. If that creature would deal [combat] damage this turn, it deals double that damage instead. Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt this turn by other creatures.”
Knight of Ancient Tresh – Any reason this isn’t just ‘until end of turn’? You still have to sacrifice an attacking creature so you can’t do it at will.
No Hesitation – The Thorn Elemental effect is very G so it’s odd to see on a RW card.
“Target creature gains haste until end of turn and you may have it assign its combat damage as though it weren’t blocked this turn.”
Seya Hexblade – “Sacrifice ~: Exile target creature you control, then return it to the battlefield under its owner’s control.” This doesn’t fit G particularly well.
Arvitch Charm (and other charms) – Shift + enter lets you set the modes closer together and I typically use two spaces to align the hanging indentations.
Haldor Antimagic – This seems pretty far out of color to me. Countering abilities is typically U or UG.
My shot at the wording: “Counter target activated or triggered ability with a noncreature permanent source. That source’s controller sacrifices it.”
Haldor Charm – “Each blocked creature you control gains double strike and trample until end of turn.”
Madia’s Stratagem – If the hand is revealed, you’ll see each card they draw. If you’re adding that clause separately to trigger the latter ability I’d combine those:
“Your opponents play with their hands revealed.
Whenever your opponent draws a card, that player reveals it. If a nonland card is revealed this way, you may discard a card with the same converted mana cost as the revealed card. If you do, draw two cards.”
Mage of the Elder Realm – “~ can’t be blocked if a card you own was put into exile this turn.” FT probably wants quotes around it.
Olphris Charm – “Look at the top six cards of target player’s library, then put any number of them on the bottom of that player’s library and the rest on top in any order.” Fateseal 6 is savage, often game ending.
Unphasing – This asks a lot in three colors to be a highly conditional Acrobatic Maneuver.
“Exile target permanent you control. If it was an Aura or enchanted permanent, draw a card. Return the exiled permanent to the battlefield under [your/its owner’s] control at the beginning of the next end step.”

Artifacts / Lands
Helmorak, Scepter of the Castes – Is this intentionally ‘creatures’ or should it be ‘other creatures’? FT wants quotes here too.
Photomancy Lense – Cool design! Is the odd spelling of ‘Lens’ intentional?
Void Bauble – This costs so much to use for such a small one-time effect. Consider something like Brittle Effigy perhaps?
Farscape – Strictly better Warped Landscape?
Urchin’s Cradle – The last activated ability should probably cost B since the rest of the cycle has on-color activation costs. This is a neat cycle by the way.

A few mechanical notes:
Mould – By my count, there are only 9 cards with mould in the set and they’re spread across three colors. I imagine it’ll be difficult to get a threshold of them to reliably activate.
Pitfall – This ability is really tricky in that it nests its ‘condition’ deep in the bottom of the reminder text. You have to have a creature blocked first of all, and I presume most opponents won’t ‘fall for the trick’ since it’s an on-board effect (with rare exception). This asks for a lot of unique tokens as well and doesn’t actually replace the other creature being blocked. I can’t see this getting used much at all. It’ll act like several older cards that tapped to damage attacking or blocking creatures (like Brigid, Hero of Kinsbaile), a deterrent to blocking more than anything else.

Hope some of this is at least a little bit helpful!

why

yes but why does this necessitate an action word

@voltaic-qui: Gadwick...... Exists?

@voltaic-qui: I was wondering if the technology of Gadwick tracking what X was while casting him then using it when he enters the battlefield, would be enough to mechanically justify the game state tracking what the second spell you cast each turn is, or if it is all just a matter of opinion.

As an aside, because I didn't say this the first time, this set is actually pretty legit. A lot of really, really cool designs here, and only a couple real misfires. It has the two problems I think a lot of custom sets have - the mechanics are a little underwhelming and the flavor doesn't really come through from the cards themselves. But other than that, it's pretty cool.