Post by sdfkjgh on Apr 21, 2019 20:02:46 GMT
…so, you’re trying to tell me that you’ve been a sleeper agent this whole time?
Ral: Shtum! Shtum! Lord Bolas has ears and Eyes Everywhere!
Eh, that’s purely Limited fodder.
Ral: Will you please take this seriously?! I tell you this in the strictest confidence, because the stress of hiding it all from my waifu Jace has been getting to me. I’m a nervous wreck!
Well jeeze, Zarek, I don’t know what to say. This new revelation has caused me to reevaluate the entire storyline. I mean, look at all of the Gatewatch’s failures, all the times they’ve screwed up, or gone against sound advice from a reliable source, or gone off half-cocked straight into a cock-up–it makes me think of them as much less Avengers, and much more like the Legends of Tomorrow! “Sometimes we screw things up for the better”, indeed!
Ral: Oh, you’re just impossible to talk to right now!
That’s because I have an episode to write. Speaking of which,
Hello! And welcome back to No Reservations II. Our usual recap:
Here’s the link to the complete Reserved List.
BSQ: 378/435, or 86.89655172413793%.
And now, part 2/4 of Visions.
And that’s it for this episode. Let’s see the damage:
Here’s the link to the complete Reserved List.
BSQ: 388/445, or 87.19101123595506%. I wonder how soon before it breaks 90. Oh well.
Join us next week for the penultimate episode of Visions. Until then, for Ral Zarek, who is TOTALLY A DOUBLE AGENT U GIUZ, SUMBUDDY TELL BOLAS--
Ral: ARE YOU TRYING TO GET MY HEAD BITTEN OFF, SHAT OUT, THEN SQUISHED BACK ON MY BLEEDING STUMPNECK?!!
Yes.
Ral: Oh, well then, carry on.
Thanks to Daij_Djan for all of his help, this is that weird hermit wot yells crazy err week at yo faces, saying MILLENIUM HAND AND SHRIMP!
Ral: Shtum! Shtum! Lord Bolas has ears and Eyes Everywhere!
Eh, that’s purely Limited fodder.
Ral: Will you please take this seriously?! I tell you this in the strictest confidence, because the stress of hiding it all from my waifu Jace has been getting to me. I’m a nervous wreck!
Well jeeze, Zarek, I don’t know what to say. This new revelation has caused me to reevaluate the entire storyline. I mean, look at all of the Gatewatch’s failures, all the times they’ve screwed up, or gone against sound advice from a reliable source, or gone off half-cocked straight into a cock-up–it makes me think of them as much less Avengers, and much more like the Legends of Tomorrow! “Sometimes we screw things up for the better”, indeed!
Ral: Oh, you’re just impossible to talk to right now!
That’s because I have an episode to write. Speaking of which,
Hello! And welcome back to No Reservations II. Our usual recap:
Here’s the link to the complete Reserved List.
- 57 cards stay on The Reserved List.
- 181 cards get reprinted in Standard.
- 58 cards get reprinted in supplemental sets.
132 cards that should’ve been prevented from ever having despoiled the timestream.- Dark Ritual has been added to The New Revised Reserved List.
Naked Singularity, Bronze Tablet, Jeweled Bird, Rebirth, Tempest Efreet, and Rishadan Port have been retroactively added to the list of cards that should’ve been prevented from ever having despoiled the timestream.
BSQ: 378/435, or 86.89655172413793%.
And now, part 2/4 of Visions.
{Wow. How many is this now? This field is getting a little crowded. Pity we had to start with the absolute dregs first. Oh well, the chaff doth surround the wheat, and all that…}
Eye of Singularity 59
Price
See, THIS is the type of World Enchantment I can get behind! Yes, Leyline does almost the exact same thing, but that thing is unique enough that it deserves having greater access to it. Were it not for the fact that I don’t see the World supertype ever coming back to Standard, Eye of Singularity’s ruling would be bolded all to hell, heaven, M87, & back. World could be a subtheme of an upcoming Commander product, but I wouldn’t hold my breath.
Eye of Singularity 59
Price
See, THIS is the type of World Enchantment I can get behind! Yes, Leyline does almost the exact same thing, but that thing is unique enough that it deserves having greater access to it. Were it not for the fact that I don’t see the World supertype ever coming back to Standard, Eye of Singularity’s ruling would be bolded all to hell, heaven, M87, & back. World could be a subtheme of an upcoming Commander product, but I wouldn’t hold my breath.
{I wanna get down lower than Atlantis, goin’ toe-to-toe with1 *obvious voice edit*2 D. Alexander Gregory}
Femeref Enchantress 182, downgraded from
to 
; see below.
Price
Look, just do a search for every single card that benefits from enchantments in one way or another. My old Mac Mini is acting up, so I can’t access Gatherer right now, and I have no idea why.
Femeref Enchantress is a pretty standard Enchantress, with one major difference: she triggers off of enchantments going to graveyards. Not just yours, but any graveyard. This is balanced by the fact that it’s a bit harder to control when something gets ‘yarded than it is to control when something enters the battlefield, which is why I’m comfortable downgrading it.
Femeref Enchantress 182, downgraded from
to ; see below.Price
Look, just do a search for every single card that benefits from enchantments in one way or another. My old Mac Mini is acting up, so I can’t access Gatherer right now, and I have no idea why.
Femeref Enchantress is a pretty standard Enchantress, with one major difference: she triggers off of enchantments going to graveyards. Not just yours, but any graveyard. This is balanced by the fact that it’s a bit harder to control when something gets ‘yarded than it is to control when something enters the battlefield, which is why I’m comfortable downgrading it.
{One of these things is suckier than the others…}
Firestorm Hellkite133
Price
Do you think it unfair of me to compare Firestorm Hellkite to much more recent cards? Well, remember that back then, they had no idea how to creature properly. Also, when Firestorm Hellkite is the only bad creature in the entire bunch, even outclassed by a token, you’ve got to realize that it’s a bad card. It is somewhat notable for being only the second Hellkite in Magic’s history, and the first to make it to The Reserved List.
Firestorm Hellkite
Price
{I wanted to cast as wide a net as possible, so I eliminated cmc & toughness from my search parameters.}
Anyone else heard anything about this “Heroes of the Realm” thing?
Anyone else heard anything about this “Heroes of the Realm” thing?
Do you think it unfair of me to compare Firestorm Hellkite to much more recent cards? Well, remember that back then, they had no idea how to creature properly. Also, when Firestorm Hellkite is the only bad creature in the entire bunch, even outclassed by a token, you’ve got to realize that it’s a bad card. It is somewhat notable for being only the second Hellkite in Magic’s history, and the first to make it to The Reserved List.
{I’m getting sick and tired of WotC’s bullshit inability to properly evaluate cards.}
Flooded Shoreline 183, downgraded from to , to match the first example provided.
Price
Even the Flyin’ Hawaiian combo puts Flooded Shoreline to shame, and yet, the ability to repeatedly abuse landfall-0’-War strategies is stronk enough to save Flooded Shoreline from The Burn Pile. #RandomWetDryVacJoke #FuckItImTooLazyAndTiredRN
Flooded Shoreline 183, downgraded from
to , to match the first example provided.Price
{Yes, bullshit; bullshit, I say!}
Soratami Mirror-Mage
Price
Tradewind Rider
Price
I wanted to exclude instants and sorceries, but my Mac Mini won’t let me, so fuck it.
Soratami Mirror-Mage
Price
Tradewind Rider
Price
I wanted to exclude instants and sorceries, but my Mac Mini won’t let me, so fuck it.
Even the Flyin’ Hawaiian combo puts Flooded Shoreline to shame, and yet, the ability to repeatedly abuse landfall-0’-War strategies is stronk enough to save Flooded Shoreline from The Burn Pile. #RandomWetDryVacJoke #FuckItImTooLazyAndTiredRN
{Looks like we found the Jimbo Jones of Magic cards.}
Forbidden Ritual134
Price
Remember on The Simpsons when we first meet Jimbo Jones, then later on (in Lisa’s Sax), we see how the young Jimbo Jones looked, and he was the same scowly brat we knew, but the image was somewhat ruined by the pink sweater with the bunny on it he was wearing? Anyone seeing Torment of Hailfire for the first time would recognize it for the intimidating bully of a card that it is3, but if you then show them Forbidden Ritual, they’ll laugh at the progenitor, and rightly so.
Mebbe by preventing Forbidden Ritual from ever existing, I could also do the same to Torment of Hailfire.3
Forbidden Ritual
Price
Remember on The Simpsons when we first meet Jimbo Jones, then later on (in Lisa’s Sax), we see how the young Jimbo Jones looked, and he was the same scowly brat we knew, but the image was somewhat ruined by the pink sweater with the bunny on it he was wearing? Anyone seeing Torment of Hailfire for the first time would recognize it for the intimidating bully of a card that it is3, but if you then show them Forbidden Ritual, they’ll laugh at the progenitor, and rightly so.
Mebbe by preventing Forbidden Ritual from ever existing, I could also do the same to Torment of Hailfire.3
{Oh gods, the stupidity of this decision hurts me physically and actually makes me feel a little ill.}
Griffin Canyon 184
Price
One of the most important considerations for a theme or subtheme, be it in a set or block, is the support cards for that sub/theme. It doesn’t matter what that sub/theme is, could be tribal, could be artifacts, whatever, what matters is the support cards. There are only 7 Griffin cards in all of Mirage block, only one of which is in Visions proper, and none of them were any good at all. WHAT IN KEFNET’S LAZOTEP-DEFILED CORPSE POSSESSED THEM TO LIST THE ONE SUPPORT CARD FOR THE ENTIRE STRATEGY?!!
Here’s the best part of all this stupid: for about eight years, you wanna know how many Griffins we got? Six. It wasn’t until original Ravnica block, with four more, before we got anywhere close to the same amount of Griffin saturation.
Griffin Canyon 184
Price
{Equivalencies}
Swarmyard
Price
Elephant Graveyard
Price
Pendelhaven
Price
Cavern of Souls
Price
Unclaimed Territory
Price
Plus the majority of nonbasics from Kamigawa block
Swarmyard
Price
Elephant Graveyard
Price
Pendelhaven
Price
Cavern of Souls
Price
Unclaimed Territory
Price
Plus the majority of nonbasics from Kamigawa block
One of the most important considerations for a theme or subtheme, be it in a set or block, is the support cards for that sub/theme. It doesn’t matter what that sub/theme is, could be tribal, could be artifacts, whatever, what matters is the support cards. There are only 7 Griffin cards in all of Mirage block, only one of which is in Visions proper, and none of them were any good at all. WHAT IN KEFNET’S LAZOTEP-DEFILED CORPSE POSSESSED THEM TO LIST THE ONE SUPPORT CARD FOR THE ENTIRE STRATEGY?!!
Here’s the best part of all this stupid: for about eight years, you wanna know how many Griffins we got? Six. It wasn’t until original Ravnica block, with four more, before we got anywhere close to the same amount of Griffin saturation.
{Oh, look! It’s a nice utility creature put on here because fuckall, that’s why!}
Guiding Spirit 185
Price
The more I think about it, the more I realize why they Listed Guiding Spirit. It’s repeated recursion, and card denial for an opponent, and at a very low cost, and in a color combination that doesn’t normally get much of those first two things. It’s a Swiss Army knife! Now, normally, I’d relegate graveyard order cards to supplemental sets, but Guiding Spirit has so much useful utility (with most of that utility being deceptively powerful), that I think it could stand up to the creatures of today.
Guiding Spirit 185
Price
{Equivalencies}
Undertaker
Price
Noxious Revival
Price
Gravebane Zombie
Price
Academy Ruins
Price
And one other, but it’s Listed further down the line, so we’ll come back to it. The previous example should be a BIG FUCKING CLUE as to which card it is.
Undertaker
Price
Noxious Revival
Price
Gravebane Zombie
Price
Academy Ruins
Price
And one other, but it’s Listed further down the line, so we’ll come back to it. The previous example should be a BIG FUCKING CLUE as to which card it is.
The more I think about it, the more I realize why they Listed Guiding Spirit. It’s repeated recursion, and card denial for an opponent, and at a very low cost, and in a color combination that doesn’t normally get much of those first two things. It’s a Swiss Army knife! Now, normally, I’d relegate graveyard order cards to supplemental sets, but Guiding Spirit has so much useful utility (with most of that utility being deceptively powerful), that I think it could stand up to the creatures of today.
{I miss my old Valley College playgroup. Ryan, our resident Mad Scientist Johnny, was the first to point out this combo to me when the latter card was spoiled.}
Kaervek’s Spite 60, downgraded from to , because:
Price
For those who don’t know how it works:
Kaervek’s Spite 60, downgraded from
to , because:| 0000 | 1) The combo is really the ONLY reason to run this awful card. 2) In a Limited environment with both cards in the combo, in this case, it’s a little more important to have the enabler than the payoff, and with such an all-in strategy, you want only the players who are aiming for that strategy to get it. 3) I just think it’d be funny as hell to have multiples of this godawful trash in a draft. |
Price
{With all this buildup, it’s like that Monty Python sketch where you never get to hear the punchline4.}
Barren Glory
Price
Ah, flavor text dick jokes.
Price
Yep, these are the only reasons for running such utter trash.
Barren Glory
Price
Ah, flavor text dick jokes.
Price
Yep, these are the only reasons for running such utter trash.
For those who don’t know how it works:
- Cast one of the enchantments, but retain priority.
- While the enchantment spell is on the stack, cast your utter garbage card.
- ? ? ?
- SWAG
- PROFIT!
{Phasing gets Piled.}
Katabatic Winds135
Price
Katabatic Winds could’ve been a perfectly serviceable AA card without phasing, only ever seeing play in sideboards, as it should be, but for some reason, someone thought that perfect sideboard tech against a vanishingly small, not even regularly viable fraction of the metagame just had to work only half the time! #WhySoSeriousStupid
Katabatic Winds
Price
{Look, you know there are better anti-air options, I know there are better anti-air options, so I’m gonna list just two of them, ok?}
Raking Canopy
Price
Whirlwind
Price
Raking Canopy
Price
Whirlwind
Price
Katabatic Winds could’ve been a perfectly serviceable AA card without phasing, only ever seeing play in sideboards, as it should be, but for some reason, someone thought that perfect sideboard tech against a vanishingly small, not even regularly viable fraction of the metagame just had to work only half the time! #WhySo
{Oh my god, this should’ve been .}
Kookus 186, downgraded from to , and reprinted with its Keeper.
Price
A Firebreathing trampler is an excellent 1-card combo, and if printed today, it prolly wouldn’t even have the Keeper-referencing drawback ability (see Charging Monstrosaur for a power level comparison). However, by including that ability, the two cards tell a delightful little story, one that was thankfully continued with Thick-Skinned Goblin about nine years later. Hey, we’re used to long waits between sequels, right?
.}Kookus 186, downgraded from
to , and reprinted with its Keeper.Price
{This is precisely why I love Time Spiral block so much.}
Keeper of Kookus
Price
Thick-Skinned Goblin
Price
Keeper of Kookus
Price
Thick-Skinned Goblin
Price
A Firebreathing trampler is an excellent 1-card combo, and if printed today, it prolly wouldn’t even have the Keeper-referencing drawback ability (see Charging Monstrosaur for a power level comparison). However, by including that ability, the two cards tell a delightful little story, one that was thankfully continued with Thick-Skinned Goblin about nine years later. Hey, we’re used to long waits between sequels, right?
And that’s it for this episode. Let’s see the damage:
Here’s the link to the complete Reserved List.
- 57 cards stay on The Reserved List.
- 186 cards get reprinted in Standard (with, in this episode, Femeref Enchantress, Flooded Shoreline, and Kookus each getting downgraded from to ).
- 60 cards get reprinted in supplemental sets (with, in this episode, Kaervek’s Spite getting downgraded from to ).
135 cards that should’ve been prevented from ever having despoiled the timestream.- Dark Ritual has been added to The New Revised Reserved List.
Naked Singularity, Bronze Tablet, Jeweled Bird, Rebirth, Tempest Efreet, and Rishadan Port have been retroactively added to the list of cards that should’ve been prevented from ever having despoiled the timestream.
BSQ: 388/445, or 87.19101123595506%. I wonder how soon before it breaks 90. Oh well.
Join us next week for the penultimate episode of Visions. Until then, for Ral Zarek, who is TOTALLY A DOUBLE AGENT U GIUZ, SUMBUDDY TELL BOLAS--
Ral: ARE YOU TRYING TO GET MY HEAD BITTEN OFF, SHAT OUT, THEN SQUISHED BACK ON MY BLEEDING STUMPNECK?!!
Yes.
Ral: Oh, well then, carry on.
Thanks to Daij_Djan for all of his help, this is that weird hermit wot yells crazy err week at yo faces, saying MILLENIUM HAND AND SHRIMP!
{Footnotes}
| 1 | youtu.be/w5UFJu74-qU?t=2m37s |
| 0 | 0 |
| 2 | youtu.be/Ub7MkK-a0hU?t=14s |
| 0 | 0 |
| 3 | Oh gods, I hate this card SO MUCH! GETITOUTOFMYSIGHT!!! KILLITKILLITKILLITNOW!!!!!! |
| 0 | 0 |
| 4 | montypython.50webs.com/scripts/Series_2/8.htm |