Post by sdfkjgh on Sept 27, 2018 21:06:24 GMT
Welcome back to Toche Station, friends. As promised, this week will be my Rogue deck. This deck is, along with DDouble DDs & SuperNova, part of the trifecta of Lorwyn decks I played during my heyday at Valley College. Sure, I have other decks from around that era, but those three decks are the most evenly matched among themselves. If there was a metagame consisting of just those three decks, I might actually be happy about it.
But before we begin, there’s something important I need to get off my chest, something that has been keeping me up at night, and I fear will continue to do so if I don’t confess. They say confession’s good for the soul, but I’m Jew…ish, so what does that get me?
Anyway, you’ve all heard about that anonymous op Ed in the New York Times, right? Well, y’see, the thing of it is…
Phew! I feel a whole lot better, actually! Mebbe those Cathys are onto something after all! nehoo, here’s this week’s deck:
Rogues (Modern Legal)
And that’s it for this week, unless you’d all like to engage the services of the Earwig Squad. I can just picture it now: the hot new superhero team, coming to you straight from the pages of Gold Key Comics! I do so amuse myself sometimes (That’s an inordinately simple task, Pinky).
Anyway, join us over at No Reservations II for the next three weeks, where we’ll be reviewing, ugh, Homelands. Please dear gods help me.
Until then, thank you for all that you do, Daij_Djan, and please save me from this upcoming abomination of a set!
SPECIAL BONUS DECK, SHOUTOUT EDITION!
On 9/10/18, I played Eat the Baby against MTGO user xxxPITBULLxxx, who was running a rather spicy Standard brew he’d made himself. He told me that someone had accused him of netdecking, if you can believe it. I’m pretty sure that person was just a sore loser. Anyway, here’s his deck:
Sideboard
Some number of 4 Negate
Thanks to xxxPITBULLxxx for allowing me to share such an offbeat deck.
But before we begin, there’s something important I need to get off my chest, something that has been keeping me up at night, and I fear will continue to do so if I don’t confess. They say confession’s good for the soul, but I’m Jew…ish, so what does that get me?
Anyway, you’ve all heard about that anonymous op Ed in the New York Times, right? Well, y’see, the thing of it is…
Phew! I feel a whole lot better, actually! Mebbe those Cathys are onto something after all! nehoo, here’s this week’s deck:
Rogues (Modern Legal)
| 4 Drowned Catacomb | |
| 6 Island | |
| 6 Swamp | |
| 2 Temple of Deceit | |
| 4 Watery Grave | Eh, might as well make it a Jim Carrey hat trick. |
| 2 Slither Blade | |
| 1 Invisible Stalker | You can blame my mom for this being here. I asked her if I should include this, or something more fair, and she chose, and I quote: “the one that will help you win more.” I had no idea my own mother was such a Spike. I’m kind of ashamed, especially since she’s only inadvertently so. |
| 4 Frogtosser Banneret | So many people forget that this has haste. |
| 4 Oona’s Blackguard | Look, I know it’s spelled black-guard, but it’s pronounced ˈblagərd, ok? Say it with me now: ˈblagərd. |
| 3 Pack’s Disdain | You’re naming Rogue in this deck. Don’t try to be cute and name Faerie, or Goblin, or Naga, or Noggle, or Merfolk, or even Human. You don’t get points for style. |
| 1 Sygg, River Cutthroat | |
| 2 Cloak and Dagger | This is a Perfect Card. From the name matching the abilities, to the name matching the trope of what spies & Rogues do, just everything about it is a perfect, neat little package of everything just fitting & matching up so well with what you’d expect. Mel? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!! I’m sorry, Mel’s over in a corner, blissed out over how perfect this card is. Please stop drooling, Mel, you’re making a mess. |
| 1 Noggle Bandit | A second copy was the “something more fair”. It can be interacted with, it can (potentially) be blocked, but who runs defenders nowadays? Besides Death & Taxes (Boo! Hiss!), I mean? Again, blame my mom. |
| 3 Distant Melody | You Pauper players know the awesome that is this card. |
| 4 Latchkey Faerie | Because there’s no such thing as too much card draw. Right Charlie? NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! Thank you, Charlie. |
| 2 Notorious Throng | See? EVEN MOAR CARD DRAW! Technically. And yes, I have prowled out one, then prowled out the other on the very next turn. Yes, more than once. Yes, it does feel as good as it sounds. |
| 3 Marsh Flitter | This is actually the tricksiest card in the deck. Eat a Gobbo (eeech!), get bigger. Hm. Every time I eat a Gobbo, I just get some strange venereal disease! |
| 3 Morsel Theft | Some people have said this card is bad, right to my face. My response, while being held back by a crowd of people trying to prevent the inevitable bloodshed, is a very rational, levelheaded, and reasoned “Does a cantripping 6-point life swing for just  sound bad to you, you ass-blasting cock-guzzler? Get this asshole outta here, before I Когда-то был король, у которого была домашняя блоха, and he has to iru, kie eĉ la Karo piediras!” |
| 1 BRICKFISH! | SAUCE! |
| 3 Warren Pilferers | |
| 1 Earwig Squad | “Hello, how can I help you? No, ma’am, we’re the Earwig Squad, not the Geek Squad. Well, we do have one geek on the Squad, but she’s more along the lines of a ‘biting the heads off of livestock’ geek than a computer geek. We mostly deal in ASMR caused by the installation of one or more Dermaptera directly inside your auditory canals. What’s that? You’d actually be interested in our services? HEY, JOE! WE GOT A CUSTOMER! Yes, that’s right ma’am, we come directly to you, whatever plane you’re on! Just so you know, we’re having a special today: install 10, get a free cap.” |
And that’s it for this week, unless you’d all like to engage the services of the Earwig Squad. I can just picture it now: the hot new superhero team, coming to you straight from the pages of Gold Key Comics! I do so amuse myself sometimes (That’s an inordinately simple task, Pinky).
Anyway, join us over at No Reservations II for the next three weeks, where we’ll be reviewing, ugh, Homelands. Please dear gods help me.
Until then, thank you for all that you do, Daij_Djan, and please save me from this upcoming abomination of a set!
SPECIAL BONUS DECK, SHOUTOUT EDITION!
On 9/10/18, I played Eat the Baby against MTGO user xxxPITBULLxxx, who was running a rather spicy Standard brew he’d made himself. He told me that someone had accused him of netdecking, if you can believe it. I’m pretty sure that person was just a sore loser. Anyway, here’s his deck:
| 4 Dragonskull Summit | |
| 5 Island | |
| 6 Mountain | |
| 3 Sulfur Falls | |
| 5 Swamp | |
| 3 Abrade | |
| 2 Fling | This is what I think of whenever I see Fling. |
| 4 Wrangle | |
| 4 Defiant Salvager | |
| 4 Hazoret’s Favor | This, and the Threaten effects, is what makes this deck work, and let me tell you, it’s a real bitch to play around! |
| 4 Hijack | |
| 3 Sweltering Suns | |
| 3 Chaos Wand | |
| 3 Gonti, Lord of Luxury | |
| 2 Hostage Taker | |
| 1 Nicol Bolas, the Ravager | |
| 2 Scarab God | |
| 2 Etali, Primal Storm |
Sideboard
Thanks to xxxPITBULLxxx for allowing me to share such an offbeat deck.