Post by sdfkjgh on Jun 22, 2018 4:42:05 GMT
LISTEN UP, SWAT-BOYS! I TOLD YOU THIS’D ALL GO A WHOLE HELL OF A LOT EASIER FOR EVERYONE IF YOU’D ONLY JUST BANG THAT BATTERING RAM IN TIME TO THE BEAT!!
RAL, WHERE THE HELL ARE THOSE “PARTY FAVORS” YOU PROMISED ME?!
Ral: Dude, I already told you, there’s no such thing as electro-Molotov cocktails. Not on this plane, or any other.
YOU UNHELPFUL BASTARD! AREN’T YOU AN ELECTROMANCER? FIGURE IT THE FUCK OUT! I GOT THE FBI BREATHING DOWN MY NECK!
Ral: You’ve also got a customer or two who’re waiting for this week’s column.
MOTHER-FUCKBALLS!! WHEN IT RAINS, IT REALLY SHITS ON MY FUN!
HELLO! As you can see, we’re a little busy at the moment. Being raided can be SUCH a hassle, amirite?! You know how it is, I’m sure! nehoo, c’mon in, siddown, stay away from the windows--wait, what am I saying? YOU stay NEAR the windows, I’LL stay away from them! Aren’t they nice windows?! Make sure to get up REAL CLOSE to them, get a good look at that excellent crown molding!
Ral: That’s not crown molding, dude. Crown molding doesn’t go on window frames. That’s just mold!
YOU COULD’VE TOLD ME THAT WHEN I WAS INSTALLING IT!
Ral: What the hell are you talking about, “installing it”? Do you mean when you were spraying down the windows with that old lady’s blood splatt--
SHTUM! SHTUM! The nice, inconvenient people don’t wanna hear about such unpleasantness, Ral. Where are your manners?!
Ral: I think you stuffed them into the body cavity of that guy back in Spokane.
{teeth clenched} I can just as easily finish that job!
Ral: Oh, sure. What’s another body? 5,689, was it?
I seem to remember you being quite happy to hold the knife back in Dublin. AND WHERE THE HELL IS TEFERI WITH OUR GETAWAY?!
Teferi: Not until you give these kind, innocent people what they came here for. This week’s column, remember that?
FINE! But could you please do something about those helicopters, they’re giving me such a headache!
Teferi: Oh, no. Freezing time is our getaway, and you get no part of that until after the column’s done!
Grmblmrfrgrrr
HELLO! and welcome back to No Reservations II! When last we left, our tally was
Here’s the link to the complete Reserved List.
• 38 cards stay on The List.
• 48 cards reprinted in Standard.
• 22 cards reprinted in supplemental sets.
•44 cards artfully arranged as a commentary on the 38th Sura, like we did in Kota Bharu; you remember that, right Ral? Good times, good times.1
• And Dark Rit still belongs in Category 1.
This gives us a BSQ of 115/153, or 75.16339869281046%.
Teferi: You do realize you’ve just been summarizing Proust this whole time, right?
QUIET! Right, let’s get right on into Swann’s Way. I mean Tempest! No, wait, Legends!
Teferi: Start again.
SHUT UP! Right, 4f of Legends, the Unfit for Duty Homefront Heroes:
I was hoping to end this on a good note, but nope, Wood Elemental: Magic’s answer to the rotting corpse of the Chuck Testa meme. I’m almost depressed enough to let them snipers take a shot at me.
Almost.
Teferi, are we ready?
Teferi: just give me the time it’ll take you to do the tally & close out the article.
You sly, sneaky bastard. Ok, fine. Our tally so far:
• 40 cards stay on The Reserved List.
• 49 cards reprinted in Standard (with, in this episode, Thunder Spirit downgraded from
to 
).
• 2411 cards reprinted in supplemental sets
•50 cards taken out back and shot, repeatedly, until they’re pulp, then that pulp recycled into industrial single-ply toilet paper, because why should anything good come out of them?
• And Dark Ritual is still serving eight consecutive life sentences for crimes against The Mana System.
This gives us a BSQ of 124/164, or 75.(60975)repeating%.
That good enough for ya?
Teferi: Nearly. You still need to do the outro.
Razzmfrazzmragglrrr.
Join us next week in Tosche Station, where I’ll be taunting the authorities for their bungling of my capture, with Grime & Sunlight; then, the week after that, I’ll be laying low until the heat dies down. Hopefully I can keep my bloodlust in check during that time.
Ral: You wish!
Until then, for Ral, Teferi, all my victims, and with much respect and praises to Daij_Djan for putting up with my insane ramblings, this is the Daily News Flenser, saying TEFERI, GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR & GET US OUTTA HERE!!
Teferi: Fine! Le ntlanzi iyenziwe ekufeni.
RAL, WHERE THE HELL ARE THOSE “PARTY FAVORS” YOU PROMISED ME?!
Ral: Dude, I already told you, there’s no such thing as electro-Molotov cocktails. Not on this plane, or any other.
YOU UNHELPFUL BASTARD! AREN’T YOU AN ELECTROMANCER? FIGURE IT THE FUCK OUT! I GOT THE FBI BREATHING DOWN MY NECK!
Ral: You’ve also got a customer or two who’re waiting for this week’s column.
MOTHER-FUCKBALLS!! WHEN IT RAINS, IT REALLY SHITS ON MY FUN!
HELLO! As you can see, we’re a little busy at the moment. Being raided can be SUCH a hassle, amirite?! You know how it is, I’m sure! nehoo, c’mon in, siddown, stay away from the windows--wait, what am I saying? YOU stay NEAR the windows, I’LL stay away from them! Aren’t they nice windows?! Make sure to get up REAL CLOSE to them, get a good look at that excellent crown molding!
Ral: That’s not crown molding, dude. Crown molding doesn’t go on window frames. That’s just mold!
YOU COULD’VE TOLD ME THAT WHEN I WAS INSTALLING IT!
Ral: What the hell are you talking about, “installing it”? Do you mean when you were spraying down the windows with that old lady’s blood splatt--
SHTUM! SHTUM! The nice, inconvenient people don’t wanna hear about such unpleasantness, Ral. Where are your manners?!
Ral: I think you stuffed them into the body cavity of that guy back in Spokane.
{teeth clenched} I can just as easily finish that job!
Ral: Oh, sure. What’s another body? 5,689, was it?
I seem to remember you being quite happy to hold the knife back in Dublin. AND WHERE THE HELL IS TEFERI WITH OUR GETAWAY?!
Teferi: Not until you give these kind, innocent people what they came here for. This week’s column, remember that?
FINE! But could you please do something about those helicopters, they’re giving me such a headache!
Teferi: Oh, no. Freezing time is our getaway, and you get no part of that until after the column’s done!
Grmblmrfrgrrr
HELLO! and welcome back to No Reservations II! When last we left, our tally was
Here’s the link to the complete Reserved List.
• 38 cards stay on The List.
• 48 cards reprinted in Standard.
• 22 cards reprinted in supplemental sets.
•
• And Dark Rit still belongs in Category 1.
This gives us a BSQ of 115/153, or 75.16339869281046%.
Teferi: You do realize you’ve just been summarizing Proust this whole time, right?
QUIET! Right, let’s get right on into Swann’s Way. I mean Tempest! No, wait, Legends!
Teferi: Start again.
SHUT UP! Right, 4f of Legends, the Unfit for Duty Homefront Heroes:
{Aaaand we’re starting with a card that’s somehow both better and worse than Farmstead. Wonderful!}
Spiritual Sanctuary45
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‘Member Farmstead, all the way back in Episode 1? Yeah, course you do. Then I don’t need to say anything more than check out the comments on Gatherer
Spiritual Sanctuary
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‘Member Farmstead, all the way back in Episode 1? Yeah, course you do. Then I don’t need to say anything more than check out the comments on Gatherer
{Isn’t 
supposed to be the color that punishes players for having too many cards in hand? I thought this was 
’s shtick.}
Storm World46
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As things like Fevered Visions and Sudden Impact have taught us anything, it’s that’s hatred of having lots of cards in hand is so intense, it borders on the anti-intellectual. is all about doing, action, emptying your hand as fast as possible, because a slow opponent is a dead opponent. So to have a card that actively punishes ’s core strategy is troubling to say the least. It definitely sends mixed messages.
Sure, it can sometimes be good to have colors show other sides to themselves. Look at both AND in Kaladesh block. Cathartic Reunion in . and the Aetherborn in did more for the diversity of their colors, and for representation in the wider game at large, than WotC has done in years. And that’s a very definite good thing. But leave this more nuance fleshing out for later, once you’ve gotten down pat the basic tenets of the color pie philosophies.
All of this would’ve already been a Burnable offense, but Storm World is a World Enchantment as well, and the World supertype counts as two strikes: one strike for itself, and one strike for the fact that they’ll prolly never make a non-World version of the card.
supposed to be the color that punishes players for having too many cards in hand? I thought this was ’s shtick.}Storm World
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{Yep, I was right. It IS ’s shtick! Also artifacts’.}
Shrieking Affliction
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The Rack
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Rackling
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Wheel of Torture
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’s shtick! Also artifacts’.}Shrieking Affliction
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The Rack
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Rackling
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Wheel of Torture
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As things like Fevered Visions and Sudden Impact have taught us anything, it’s that
’s hatred of having lots of cards in hand is so intense, it borders on the anti-intellectual. is all about doing, action, emptying your hand as fast as possible, because a slow opponent is a dead opponent. So to have a card that actively punishes ’s core strategy is troubling to say the least. It definitely sends mixed messages.Sure, it can sometimes be good to have colors show other sides to themselves. Look at both
AND in Kaladesh block. Cathartic Reunion in . and the Aetherborn in did more for the diversity of their colors, and for representation in the wider game at large, than WotC has done in years. And that’s a very definite good thing. But leave this more nuance fleshing out for later, once you’ve gotten down pat the basic tenets of the color pie philosophies.All of this would’ve already been a Burnable offense, but Storm World is a World Enchantment as well, and the World supertype counts as two strikes: one strike for itself, and one strike for the fact that they’ll prolly never make a non-World version of the card.
{”Lookithett, she ain’t recyclin’!” Thank you, Slappy Squirrel.}
Sword of the Ages47
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Sword of the Ages is just objectively terrible. It costs
, enters the battlefield tapped, and exiles itself and all your dudes you wasted to use it. At least Soulblast allows for graveyard shenanigans. Sword of the Ages does have one thing going for it, though. It’s prolly the most accurate depiction of a gladius you’ll ever find in this game.2
Sword of the Ages
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{Go with this instead. It’s 10x better, and it’s still kinda terrible}
Soulblast
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Or, just go with the classic.
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Soulblast
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Or, just go with the classic.
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Sword of the Ages is just objectively terrible. It costs
, enters the battlefield tapped, and exiles itself and all your dudes you wasted to use it. At least Soulblast allows for graveyard shenanigans. Sword of the Ages does have one thing going for it, though. It’s prolly the most accurate depiction of a gladius you’ll ever find in this game.2{I love Time Spiral block}
The Tabernacle at Pendrell Vale 39
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Lookie here, we have our first non-bullshit card in a very long while!
Lands that don’t produce mana are a bit of a no-go for me. Yes, there’s always gonna be exceptions in our game, like Dark Depths (even though it was a mistake to make the counters go down instead of the usual up, it’s still an interesting enough design to be excused), but that just proves the rule: lands should either tap for or automatically produce mana, or reduce the cost of things.
Turn 1 Tabernacle is backbreakingly OP for 99.999% of creature decks to have to fight against. Turn 4 Magus is still powerful (hosing swarm decks in particular), but can be worked around.
The Tabernacle at Pendrell Vale 39
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{I’m so glad we have the various & sundry Magi to replace these OP cards at a more reasonable cost/fragility}
Magus of the Tabernacle
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Magus of the Tabernacle
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Lookie here, we have our first non-bullshit card in a very long while!
Lands that don’t produce mana are a bit of a no-go for me. Yes, there’s always gonna be exceptions in our game, like Dark Depths (even though it was a mistake to make the counters go down instead of the usual up, it’s still an interesting enough design to be excused), but that just proves the rule: lands should either tap for or automatically produce mana, or reduce the cost of things.
Turn 1 Tabernacle is backbreakingly OP for 99.999% of creature decks to have to fight against. Turn 4 Magus is still powerful (hosing swarm decks in particular), but can be worked around.
{How about the power to kill a yak from 200 yards away…with MIND BULLETS!!!}
That’s Telekinesis, Kyle! See below.
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This is another toughie. On the one hand, tapping down things so they don’t untap during their controller’s next untap step is very
. On the other hand, preventing damage is very 
. On another hand, tapping down for multiples of a player’s untap step can very easily lead to memory issues. On yet a further different hand, we’re already at two hands too many!
My point is this: online, it’s easy for the software to keep track of such things, so I’m glad that Telekinesis was reprinted in Masters Edition, and triply glad that it was downgraded from to . But you try running this irl without anyone even once forgetting that the creature is tapped down for more than the usual amount of time, and you’re going to run into trouble.
Since Masters Edition was already an online-only set, I’m gonna hafta prioritize paper Magic, and leave it be. 40.
That’s Telekinesis, Kyle! See below.
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{I think I found this card’s parents, but they’re from this card’s future, which is now our past…paging Scott Summers, we need an expert in wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey genealogy!}
Icy Blast
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Dawn Charm
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Icy Blast
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Dawn Charm
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This is another toughie. On the one hand, tapping down things so they don’t untap during their controller’s next untap step is very
. On the other hand, preventing damage is very . On another hand, tapping down for multiples of a player’s untap step can very easily lead to memory issues. On yet a further different hand, we’re already at two hands too many!My point is this: online, it’s easy for the software to keep track of such things, so I’m glad that Telekinesis was reprinted in Masters Edition, and triply glad that it was downgraded from
to . But you try running this irl without anyone even once forgetting that the creature is tapped down for more than the usual amount of time, and you’re going to run into trouble.Since Masters Edition was already an online-only set, I’m gonna hafta prioritize paper Magic, and leave it be. 40.
{Paging Noisy-Plum-san!}
Tetsuo Umezawa 23
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Sauce.3
Tetsuo, as a card, is an absolute mess. It’s an Archer, but its abilities seem more in line with an Assassin. It hates on Auras targeting itself, because reasons. It’s Grixis, but its abilities seem more Orzhov. And its activated ability costs too damn much, both numerically and chromatically.
Now, I never claimed to be Vorthos enough to track down any of the old novels and read them (I hear they’re mostly in the terrible to godawful range, where shit like Dan Brown, Twilight, and 50 Shades are at the bottom, in godawful), so I don’t know the whole Madara story. But, I do know, or at least I think I know, enough to wonder what the fuck were they smoking when they wrote it? Just the summary of the story reads like they used the popcorn method of writing, whereby you put a bunch of things (names, locations, actions, tropes, etc.) into a bag, shake it up, then pull something out at random.
It’s an absolute mess, but Tetsuo is important enough to the story, while also being close enough to being appropriately statted, that I feel comfortable letting him out into a Commander set, on a probationary basis.
Tetsuo Umezawa 23
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Sauce.3
Tetsuo, as a card, is an absolute mess. It’s an Archer, but its abilities seem more in line with an Assassin. It hates on Auras targeting itself, because reasons. It’s Grixis, but its abilities seem more Orzhov. And its activated ability costs too damn much, both numerically and chromatically.
Now, I never claimed to be Vorthos enough to track down any of the old novels and read them (I hear they’re mostly in the terrible to godawful range, where shit like Dan Brown, Twilight, and 50 Shades are at the bottom, in godawful), so I don’t know the whole Madara story. But, I do know, or at least I think I know, enough to wonder what the fuck were they smoking when they wrote it? Just the summary of the story reads like they used the popcorn method of writing, whereby you put a bunch of things (names, locations, actions, tropes, etc.) into a bag, shake it up, then pull something out at random.
It’s an absolute mess, but Tetsuo is important enough to the story, while also being close enough to being appropriately statted, that I feel comfortable letting him out into a Commander set, on a probationary basis.
{No, Wizards, this isn’t too good, it’s just that creatures back then were too terrible}
Thunder Spirit 49; downgraded from to , to match Voiceless Spirit.
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They keep dancing around the issue that they’re constantly reinventing this flying, first-striking, 2-power wheel because of a decision that at best was right for its time, if a little too overarching; and at worst will prolly lead to the slow, strangling, starving death of both Vintage AND Legacy.
Thunder Spirit is the poster child for Listed cards that should be in Standard, and is emblematic of its category’s congenital flaws of The Reserved List. #ThunderSpiritDidNothingWrong #FreeThunderSpiritNOW!
Thunder Spirit 49; downgraded from
to , to match Voiceless Spirit.Price
{Equivalencies}
See? You even admitted as much in Time Spiral!
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It’s like WotC is Basil Fawlty, constantly admonishing everyone “Don’t mentionthe Warthat 2/2 flying first-striker for 3!”
See? You even admitted as much in Time Spiral!
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It’s like WotC is Basil Fawlty, constantly admonishing everyone “Don’t mention
They keep dancing around the issue that they’re constantly reinventing this flying, first-striking, 2-power wheel because of a decision that at best was right for its time, if a little too overarching; and at worst will prolly lead to the slow, strangling, starving death of both Vintage AND Legacy.
Thunder Spirit is the poster child for Listed cards that should be in Standard, and is emblematic of its category’s congenital flaws of The Reserved List. #ThunderSpiritDidNothingWrong #FreeThunderSpiritNOW!
{Whether that’s a guy wearing a Ceratopsid skullhat, or a guy in the process of having his head swallowed whole by a Ceratopsid, either way, I’m sure Nathan Explosion would agree that it’s pretty dang Metal!}
Tuknir Deathlock48
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…But it’s still got nuttin on Tymaret, the Murder King, winner of The Most Metal Magic Card Name nearly 5 years running!6
Now, where was I? Ah, yes.
Tuknir Deathlock, as a whole, makes no damn sense. We’ve already ragged on the wtf-ery that is the art, so let’s no get into that particular trainwreck any further, as there’ so much else that’s gone so horribly wrong on this card.
First off, it’s a Human Wizard, but that would mean that that hat is from a Protoceratops-sized Triceratops, which doesn’t make a lick of sense, and we’re back to ragging on the terrible art!
No, ok, it’s fine. I can do this.
Next, it flies, but it’s in the two colors that DON’T normally get fliers (except for Dragons and Phoenixes).
It’s a four mana 2/2 with a moderately useful ability, but both it and its ability are overcosted &/or overweighted7 in color.
Nantuko Disciple does pretty much exactly what Tuknir8 does, only with 100% less nonsensical bullshit.
Tuknir Deathlock
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{Equivalencies and Near-Analogues}
Thriss, Nantuko Goin’ Down to South Park, Gonna Have Myself a Time
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Nantuko Disciple
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Nantuko Mentor
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Bloodbuzz5Bloodrush
Kithkin Daggerdare
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Kithkin Shielddare
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Thriss, Nantuko Goin’ Down to South Park, Gonna Have Myself a Time
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Nantuko Disciple
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Nantuko Mentor
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Kithkin Daggerdare
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Kithkin Shielddare
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…But it’s still got nuttin on Tymaret, the Murder King, winner of The Most Metal Magic Card Name nearly 5 years running!6
Now, where was I? Ah, yes.
Tuknir Deathlock, as a whole, makes no damn sense. We’ve already ragged on the wtf-ery that is the art, so let’s no get into that particular trainwreck any further, as there’ so much else that’s gone so horribly wrong on this card.
First off, it’s a Human Wizard, but that would mean that that hat is from a Protoceratops-sized Triceratops, which doesn’t make a lick of sense, and we’re back to ragging on the terrible art!
No, ok, it’s fine. I can do this.
Next, it flies, but it’s in the two colors that DON’T normally get fliers (except for Dragons and Phoenixes).
It’s a four mana 2/2 with a moderately useful ability, but both it and its ability are overcosted &/or overweighted7 in color.
Nantuko Disciple does pretty much exactly what Tuknir8 does, only with 100% less nonsensical bullshit.
{Please don’t make me go in-depth on such a terrible card}
Typhoon49
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•
only deals noncombat damage to fliers.
• deals noncombat damage to players’ faces.
• Anathemancer
• This is a hate card so narrow as to be almost completely useless, which means you can’t afford to put it in your deck (not even in the sideboard), and yet it’s still so overpowered that you can’t afford NOT to put it in your deck.
Typhoon is schizophrenically bad, and it makes my head hurt.
Typhoon
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•
only deals noncombat damage to fliers.•
deals noncombat damage to players’ faces.• Anathemancer
• This is a hate card so narrow as to be almost completely useless, which means you can’t afford to put it in your deck (not even in the sideboard), and yet it’s still so overpowered that you can’t afford NOT to put it in your deck.
Typhoon is schizophrenically bad, and it makes my head hurt.
{I bet you wish it was The Ur-Dragon or its Scion (even though Scion cars suck9), because I know I sure do!}
Ur-Drago5010
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• Landwalk’s been retired.
• If I didn’t give a pass to Gosta Dirk, what made you think I’d give a pass to Ur-Drago?8
Ur-Drago
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{BETTER OPTIONS!}
Every non-Legends 7-mana permanent that has or references either first strike or double strike
Every non-Legends 4/4 first striker
Every non-Legends 7-mana permanent that has or references either first strike or double strike
Every non-Legends 4/4 first striker
• Landwalk’s been retired.
• If I didn’t give a pass to Gosta Dirk, what made you think I’d give a pass to Ur-Drago?8
{Mr. Tumnus?}
Willow Satyr 2411
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Notice anything about all the provided examples? There’s all mono-. gets Control Magic effects, gets Threaten, and gets fight/”punch” effects.
That said, Willow Satyr is costly enough (at
), expensive enough (at $79/99), and fragile enough (at 1/1, and requiring constant exertion, making it an easy target), while still being versatile enough (it’s a Control Magic for Legendary creatures in mono-; of course players want it!) that I’m fully comfortable letting Commander have it, even if it’s a bit of a color break.
Willow Satyr 2411
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Notice anything about all the provided examples? There’s all mono-
. gets Control Magic effects, gets Threaten, and gets fight/”punch” effects.That said, Willow Satyr is costly enough (at
), expensive enough (at $79/99), and fragile enough (at 1/1, and requiring constant exertion, making it an easy target), while still being versatile enough (it’s a Control Magic for Legendary creatures in mono-; of course players want it!) that I’m fully comfortable letting Commander have it, even if it’s a bit of a color break.{See, it’s cards like this & Sorrow’s Path that are the reason for The Burn Pile}
Wood Elemental50
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Wood Elemental is famously bad. MaRo himself has gone on record as saying that it and Sorrow’s Path are the top two worst Magic cards ever printed.
And yet, there are still über-“Challenge Accepted!” Munchkin Johnnies & Jennies out there who’ve made both cards work (or at least tried). I should know, I regularly play with a guy who’s built not one, but TWO different Commander decks, each designed to maximize the usage of either Wood Elemental (Titania, Protector of Argoth) or Sorrow’s Path (I have no idea, and frankly, I don’t even wanna know!). Well congratulations, Achievement Unlocked you crazy-ass bastard, now get those unholy monstrosities away from me, you freak!
These hypermunchkin Johnnies & Jennies may nominally be my people, but frankly I think they’re nuts!
Wood Elemental
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Wood Elemental is famously bad. MaRo himself has gone on record as saying that it and Sorrow’s Path are the top two worst Magic cards ever printed.
And yet, there are still über-“Challenge Accepted!” Munchkin Johnnies & Jennies out there who’ve made both cards work (or at least tried). I should know, I regularly play with a guy who’s built not one, but TWO different Commander decks, each designed to maximize the usage of either Wood Elemental (Titania, Protector of Argoth) or Sorrow’s Path (I have no idea, and frankly, I don’t even wanna know!). Well congratulations, Achievement Unlocked you crazy-ass bastard, now get those unholy monstrosities away from me, you freak!
These hypermunchkin Johnnies & Jennies may nominally be my people, but frankly I think they’re nuts!
I was hoping to end this on a good note, but nope, Wood Elemental: Magic’s answer to the rotting corpse of the Chuck Testa meme. I’m almost depressed enough to let them snipers take a shot at me.
Almost.
Teferi, are we ready?
Teferi: just give me the time it’ll take you to do the tally & close out the article.
You sly, sneaky bastard. Ok, fine. Our tally so far:
• 40 cards stay on The Reserved List.
• 49 cards reprinted in Standard (with, in this episode, Thunder Spirit downgraded from
to ).• 2411 cards reprinted in supplemental sets
•
• And Dark Ritual is still serving eight consecutive life sentences for crimes against The Mana System.
This gives us a BSQ of 124/164, or 75.(60975)repeating%.
That good enough for ya?
Teferi: Nearly. You still need to do the outro.
Razzmfrazzmragglrrr.
Join us next week in Tosche Station, where I’ll be taunting the authorities for their bungling of my capture, with Grime & Sunlight; then, the week after that, I’ll be laying low until the heat dies down. Hopefully I can keep my bloodlust in check during that time.
Ral: You wish!
Until then, for Ral, Teferi, all my victims, and with much respect and praises to Daij_Djan for putting up with my insane ramblings, this is the Daily News Flenser, saying TEFERI, GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR & GET US OUTTA HERE!!
Teferi: Fine! Le ntlanzi iyenziwe ekufeni.
{Footnotes}
| 1 | Ral: It was a jumbled pile of corpse pieces unceremoniously dumped at the foot of the Sultan Ismail Petra Gates. |
| | But they were ISLAMOPHOBIC corpse pieces! |
| | Ral: Ok, fine, I’ll give you that one. |
| 2 | Veteran’s Sidearm does a passable pugio impersonation. |
| 3 | Pun unintended4, but I’ll take it. |
| 4 | No pun in 10 did? |
| 5 | www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVCrmXW6-Pk |
| 6 | I’d love for Brendon Small & WotC to collaborate on a Dethklok album based off of characters from Magic’s history. Hell, I’d even just settle for Dethklok covering Tha Gatherin. |
| 7 | www.youtube.com/watch?v=tu1dYHJXx-E |
| 8 | And what the hell is up with that name? Srsly, if you’re coming up with names like this in any type of character creation, it’s time to take a step back and ask yourself “What the hell am I doing?” |
| 9 | I swear, the Scion xD looks just like two cardboard boxes stuck together with an all-natural adhesive! |
| 10 | Wouldja lookit that! The Burners have surpassed the Standard reprinters! Still think The Reserved List isn’t bullshit, Wizards?! |
| 11 | www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqRtUwi3kv8 |
