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Post by sdfkjgh on Jun 28, 2024 20:25:08 GMT
Duskmourn, House of HorrorsSo, the section on Survivors sounds sooo much like The Foundation. I even said as much to Gavin. The House Institute is the overarching mandate of The Foundation, The Doorblades are MTFs, The Benefactors are logistics and suppliers within The Foundation--ok, so there really isn't a full 1:1 on that one, as The Foundation and its MTFs already do most of their own logistics & supply, but obligatory Meatloaf reference.
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Post by sdfkjgh on Jul 16, 2024 21:47:30 GMT
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Post by sdfkjgh on Aug 20, 2024 2:10:35 GMT
1) The opening section is just Beetlejuice! 2) "Tyvar Kell, elf prince of Kaldheim, stood shirtless in the snow, feet set in a warrior's stance, a broad smile on his face as he stared down the massive wolf in front of him." Everything before "stared down" is just Tyvar's natural state of being, completely implicit to our understanding of the character at the very mention of his name. Therefore, I shall fix this for them: "Tyvar Kell stared down the massive wolf in front of him." 3) '"Why isn't that man wearing a shirt?" asked Zimone.' SEE?!! 4) '"But fate believes in you," said Tyvar, clapping Niko on the shoulder. "Come, let us disbelieve this stranger to her face."' God, I love Tyvar's Big, Dumb Himbo energy. 5)'"You're late," she said bluntly, with none of the respect Kaito would have expected her to extend to a massive flying predator.' DING! |
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Post by sdfkjgh on Aug 21, 2024 3:03:33 GMT
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Post by sdfkjgh on Aug 22, 2024 9:12:51 GMT
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Post by sdfkjgh on Aug 23, 2024 17:57:35 GMT
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Post by sdfkjgh on Aug 23, 2024 18:06:07 GMT
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Post by sdfkjgh on Aug 27, 2024 4:01:15 GMT
"Their flesh is the House's flesh, and now … so are we."Dammit, Tyvar! Stop being so clever! You're supposed to be himbo beefcake, not someone smart enough to imitate the sophisticated defense & counter-defense mechanisms of endoparasites! '"I'm sorry," said Tyvar, sounding stricken. "The things I was thinking of doing to you—I'm so sorry. A hero should never."' THAT'S more like it!
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Post by sdfkjgh on Aug 28, 2024 13:32:44 GMT
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Post by sdfkjgh on Aug 29, 2024 1:59:03 GMT
magic.wizards.com/en/news/magic-story/episode-five-dont-give-in1) '"During the assault on New Phyrexia, I watched many of my allies lose themselves forever," he said, voice hollow. "Upon my return home, to my fair Kaldheim, I saw that same fate befall too many. I saw the World Tree burn. Koma, who I had revered, whose favor I had sought, fell to that cruel transformation. I felt it spread, across two worlds, and I know what the process feels like to the magic of my own changes. I simply wait to feel like the world is ending, and when it does, I let the magic go." "I'm sorry," said Zimone. "I didn't mean to—" "But, we should be moving along," he said, jovial once more. He put one hand against the wall and the other on her shoulder, and the flesh of the House flowed over them, and sorrow and grief and loss were suddenly far away, hidden behind a veil of nightmares.' Hmm, it seems our himbo has hidden depths. 2) '"Perhaps she's a ghost?" suggested Tyvar. "A spirit of some sort? She doesn't seem to be aware of our presence, and even wrapped in the body of this house, I'm difficult to overlook." Zimone looked at him unbelievingly. "Are you bragging about how hot you are? Like, right now?" "I am simply stating facts—and look. She's leaving."' Once a himbo, always a himbo. 3) '"Normally, I would view this as a massive invasion of privacy," said Zimone. It had taken them three rooms to find an unbroken table where they could settle to review her find. "I looked at Rootha's diary once, and she went on this whole little monologue about how easily people burn. I'm not even sure she was trying to scare me by the end. She was mostly just reassuring herself, and fire keeps her calm. Anyway, diaries are supposed to be top secret, don't look, not ever, but I think our circumstances are a little unique."' Ahhh, so nice to hear more about my fiery little waifu. How I long to pierce my upper lip on her cute tusks, so that we may forevermore be locked in deep, passionate kissing! 4) 'All those things were set dressings, immutable facts of the environment, and nowhere near so disturbing as what the room contained. Half a dozen humanoid figures in long robes shaped like moth's wings, clean and well mended but tattered at the hems. It took Niko a moment to realize why the condition of their clothing was so ominous. There were no patches. No stains. They had the luxury of caring for themselves in a way that Winter never had, and by extension, the rest of the survivors wandering the House would have been denied. In this place, cleanliness was virtually a declaration of power.' I'm a fervent anticapitalist, possibly even so far as to be a Communist (still need to read Marx & Engels), but shit like this pushes me towards complete and total anarchism! END THE POWER-IMBALANCING HIERARCHIES! SMASH THE SYSTEMS THAT OPPRESS!! 5) 'The Wanderer was the first to wake. Being jerked back and forth across the Multiverse by her own spark for years had left her better equipped than most to recover from sudden shocks to the system, and she was able to shake off the lingering effects of the sedative dust to find herself held up by loops of some white, cottony material, pinning her tightly to a post. They were in a different cavern now, this one larger and darker, with jagged outcroppings of rock on the wall. She could see her companions, tied to stone posts of their own around the edges of the room.' I'm reminded of every scene in the first two Ghostbusters movies where they confront a ghost and it goes badly for them.
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Post by sdfkjgh on Sept 1, 2024 4:01:12 GMT
magic.wizards.com/en/news/magic-story/episode-six-dont-die1) 'Niko strained against their bonds. They were still as tight as they had been in the beginning and showed no signs of slackening. From behind them, they heard the distinctive sound of wood slamming into flesh, accompanied by a yelp, and then a familiar voice drowned out everything else, as Tyvar boomed, "Bad form, to start the battle without us!" A cultist flew past Niko to smash into the wall, clearly having been flung across the room, and a terrible figure appeared next to them. It was shaped like Zimone, but unlike Zimone, it had skin made of water-damaged, splintered wood and rusting nails in place of teeth. It reached for them with its horrible hands, fingers like crooked hinges and palms like broken shingles, and Niko tried to shy away, moving as far as the ropes would allow. "Calm down," said the figure, and its voice was Zimone's, and the figure was Zimone, somehow transformed like the wickerfolk. She reached for them again, and this time they didn't move as she hooked those hinge-fingers under the first loop of rope and began to saw away at it, cutting the fiber simply by flexing her hand. Another cultist flew across the room, as the air behind them was shattered by shouts and peals of laughter. Tyvar, it seemed, was still having the time of his life. "At least someone's having a good day," muttered Niko. Zimone offered them a horrible smile, the expression rendered nightmarish by the unfamiliar angles of her face. "I don't think he knows how to have a bad day for very long," she said.' Ok, I'm starting to love this big, dumb himbo. 2) '"I was top of my class in theoretical combat math," said Zimone. She pulled another cascade of lines from the box, lobbing it carelessly at Tyvar. When it struck his skin, it began to lace together into a sort of knotted armor, which deflected the next blow that would have hit him. Tyvar blinked, then beamed. "Behold the power of math!" he proclaimed, turning and punching the cultist squarely in the face.' I did a thing.3) 'Below her, Nashi scurried to the plinth, grabbing the box above which Tamiyo's image hung. He reached inside it, and as his fingers were about to close around her scroll, she turned to face him. "Wait!" she cried. Nashi froze. "I'm here to save you," he said. "Mom, you have to let me save you." "They've been stealing my stories, Nashi," she said. "Taking them apart and taking them away. I don't remember the things they stole from me. But I remember you. I will always, always remember you." "Mom …" "Those stories were what let me exist in this form. They were my blood and breath and bones after all those things were lost, and now they've been taken. The people who took me have me connected to this ghost-trap to keep me here—that is the only thing keeping me here, Nashi. They are the only thing keeping me here. You can't save me this time." "Mom. No." Nashi looked at her, whiskers flat and ears pressed tight against his skull, quivering in his confusion and mystery. "Oh, my sweetest boy, there are stories whose endings can be changed, and those that can't. My ending was written years ago. Your mother—your real mother—loved you so, so much, Nashi, she loved you so much that the story of her love is one of the only ones I haven't forgotten. When they tried to take it, they found that without it, the rest of me would unravel and fade away immediately. They made me call out to you, Nashi, because you were the story that hung in my heart. They made me lure you here, hunters trapping the moon, and I am sorry. I am so, so sorry." "Mom …" Nashi's tears overflowed his eyes. The fight around them had faded into a background of shouts and clashing weapons, less important than his mother's flickering shade. "Please. I need you." "You can't save me, but you don't need to. You don't need me, Nashi, not anymore. Look at what you've accomplished! You made a hero's charge into the heart of a demon house to save the unsavable. And look at the people who came to help you, simply because you needed it. You are more loved than you can know. Now go, Nashi. Go, and be as spectacular as she always knew you would be." Nashi held up the small object the Wanderer had pressed into his hand. "She told me I could change my fate. She told me … I could …" "No, my love. It doesn't reach back far enough for that. My book is closed; my tale is done. I only ask one thing more from you." "What?" "Let me go." Nashi stared at her, silent and horrified. "I still have stories they could steal from me. Please, love, please. Let me go, so the work that was my life won't be turned to evil any longer. Free me, dear one. Free me." Nashi turned his face away, back toward the chaos behind him.' I'm not crying, YOU'RE crying! Damn onion ninjas! Gimme a minute, I'll be fine. Wait, nope. I won't be fine...  4) 'Niko was fighting their way to the door, flinging shards into the bodies of cultists and stepping over those Tyvar had already felled. Tyvar was still swinging with reckless abandon, finally in his element as he battled the seemingly endless hoard. Zimone followed close behind him, guarding his back with her magic and machine. Valgavoth roared, wings flexing. The walls shuddered, and cellarspawn and nightmares spilled out of them, pouring into the room. Tyvar grabbed Zimone, and the horror of the House swept over her again, transforming her. The magic stopped spilling from her box. She shot Tyvar a wounded look. "It's the only way to keep you safe," he explained. "None of us are safe," snapped Zimone. "True enough," said Tyvar, and turned to beat back the nightmare squid creature that had been flowing toward them, tentacles grasping at the air.' Thank you, most favorite Himbo, for lightening my mood by bringing joy! 5) 'Nashi stopped walking. The others were almost to the second door before the Wanderer looked back, frowning. "Nashi?" she asked. Nashi looked at the empty scroll in his hands. "Your body is on Kamigawa, with us," he told it. "But your spirit belongs to the Blind Eternities. I know that. I hope you can rest now. I hope you know you did the right thing. Your story's done, but mine's just starting. I love you." He put the scroll down on the hallway floor and ran after the others, stepping with them out into the light of the Ravnican afternoon.' Damn onion ninjas are back... 6) '"It seems all has been revealed," said Tyvar, almost philosophically.' Aaaand, Tyvar lightens the mood again with a quip about his shirtlessness. We stan a beefcake himbo. 7) The final passage (which I won't quote to avoid spoilers) looks to me like they are setting up Valgavoth to be the new Phyrexian menace, and I don't mean New Phyrexia. I mean a multiverse-spanning threat that seeks to consume and convert all to itself. On the one hand, I hope they don't screw it up like last time, give the story time to unfold, unravel, and denoument properly, and not with a literal deus ex machina and a lack of ontological inertia. On the other hand, Phyrexian forces are still out there, still ruling over conquered planes, still seeking to conquer even more, so I have no idea why we can't go back to them at some future point. I just hope it won't be done and hand-wavy and artlessly as Rise of Skywalker.
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Post by sdfkjgh on Sept 1, 2024 6:41:03 GMT
magic.wizards.com/en/news/feature/planeswalkers-guide-to-duskmourn1) 'Marina watched, horrified, as the entity came alive and devoured them. Too late, she realized that her "friend" was something far more malevolent than she could have realized. She fled the basement and locked the door, vowing that she would never have anything to do with the entity again. However, it was already too late. People around Marina began to meet sudden, unexplained, and terrifying ends. The neighborhood began to warp as well, twisting and growing strange and terrifying. But most disquieting of all, the house itself began to warp and grow.' Reminds me of House of Leaves and MyHouse.wad. 2) Geography of DuskmournOk, this entire section is just the Winchester Mystery House turned up to 11,000,000, then the dial bashed, punched, bludgeoned, sawed, filed, shot, stabbed, EMPed, and detonated until it "mysteriously" fell off, leading the newly-rich coroner to proclaim it a "suicide by natural causes". 3) "The Boilerbilges is characterized by the most overtly treacherous terrain in the House, full of precipitous drops, jagged architecture, and belching flames. It's also prone to violent, destructive events, like earthquakes and fire twisters, making survival in this zone an even less likely prospect than normal." To reiterate my prior statement about Fallout 4, this sounds like The Glowing Sea. 4) "Hallways choked with thorny vines and brambles. Overgrown greenhouses full of specimens both venomous and carnivorous. Isolated cabins in the middle of dense, lightless woods. Crumbling domes strung with wicker hexes and strangled by trees shaped like human hands." I would link to a picture of the Doom sprite of the half-burnt, hand-shaped tree stump, but google is only returing the other tree sprite, the curving one that looks vaguely like a person frog-standing with their head buried in the ground. 5) ' Cellarspawn
"No matter where I went, that … thing was there. Lurking in the corner of my eye. Leaving claw marks on the walls. Every shadow was spying on me, it was waiting behind every closed door. I couldn't take it anymore. When it finally got me, I almost wanted to cry with relief. Anything, I thought, would be better than the suspense." – Nialle, former survivor' Reminds me of the now unfortunately gone List of Things Dr. Bright Is No Longer Allowed to Do, specifically "Dr. Bright is barred from daring new recruits to loudly ring SCP-513 while yelling "BING BONG, BRING IT ON!" If you're wondering why it's gone, do your own research. 6) ' The Cult of Valgavoth
"They brought us into a haven of plenty that seemed unreal, so idyllic was it. They gave us food. They welcomed us into their community. Smiling—always smiling. I had never felt so free of fear before. I wished I could enjoy this peace forever. When I told this to them, they took me to the other room and showed me the cocoons and said, 'There is a way.'" – Carl, former survivor' I've said it before, & I'll say it again: DEATH TO THE BOURGEOISIE!!!7) "The cult views itself as steward of the House, responsible for maintaining it and ensuring its smooth running. Attendants make up the bulk of the cult's members and are tasked with basic maintenance. They patch up cracks in the walls, exterminate pesky gremlins, and repair architectural damage caused by invasive plant growth. Strictors enforce the cult's rules and schedule of participation in rituals. At their discretion, cultists who display undue fear or weakness of faith can be assigned extra time in the Rite of the Threshold. Cocooniers are keepers of the cult's rites and beliefs, in charge of the actual running of all rituals." Ok, the Saturday morning cartoon version of this story has Valgavoth and his infernal house being completely defeated by a door opening to Kaladesh, and Saheeli just dumping ALL the gremlins through the door, leading to the pests devouring errthing, and An Aesop about the dangers of invasive species, when mebbe the better Aesop would've been "Don't sacrifice your bullies to an ancient, bound Demon." 8) "Glitch ghosts are the last remnant of "outside" the House, relics of what the plane of Duskmourn used to be. When Valgavoth started consuming the plane, he found that there were places that he couldn't subsume or destroy. His solution was to simply push and compress them to the very edges of the space that Duskmourn occupied in the Blind Eternities. Instead of compressing these spaces into nonexistence though, they ended up pushing back on the House. This pressure stresses the structure of the House, causing cracks and fractures that must be constantly repaired. In some of the more decayed sections of the House, whole sections of walls might be crumbled away, revealing an unyielding, impenetrable canvas of the same warped, corrupted texture as the glitch ghosts themselves." Hmmm, this sounds a bit familiar...9) Razorkin Ok, this entire section sounds exactly like the republican mindset, their propaganda machine of foxnews, oann, et al., and various other supporters, cheerleaders, and other various fascism apologists. I'd especially like to point out: 9a) "Their territory is a series of elaborate death-trap rooms and torture chambers within the Boilerbilges known collectively as the razor mazes. Here, the House's geography has been modified to be even more convoluted, making it nearly impossible for anyone to escape from playing a starring role in razorkin tortures." This also sounds familiar.10) Quickened Toys11) "Unable to act directly against Valgavoth, the remaining demons are reduced to venting their hatred on the House itself with acts of petty destruction and defacement. A handful of those who still harbor ambition focus on making pacts with humans like they used to, hoping to regain enough power to one day challenge Valgavoth—and take over the edifice of the House for themselves." "The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house."12) BeastiesMy idiot shipper brain is already concocting a Shape of Water-esque love story, similar to the idea I had when I first learned what the hell a Fylgja is. 113) "Not all the denizens of this plane were subsumed by the House. Groups of survivors remain, the last remnants of those who existed before the House swallowed up their homes. Most survivors survive by adopting a nomadic lifestyle, constantly on the move and never settling down long enough in one place to attract attention. Smart, tough, and resourceful, these remaining survivors are constantly fighting to simply stay alive. However, their numbers are constantly dwindling as the House picks them off one by one. The occasional influxes of newcomers help bolster the survivors' numbers temporarily, but most newcomers meet with swift ends unless they're smart enough to adapt to their new surroundings in time or get lucky enough to get picked up by a group of veteran survivors." Sounds to me like the [url=www.youtube.com/@fdsignifire]black experience in regards to[/url] the police. #ACAB 14)  Reminds me of Ellen Barkin. 15) "These can range from simple weapons, like a plank of wood with nails hammered through it..."1According to some myths, seeing your fylgja during waking hours is a portent of your own death. So, my idea was, what if a person and their fylgja fell in love?
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Post by sdfkjgh on Sept 1, 2024 6:53:08 GMT
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Post by sdfkjgh on Sept 1, 2024 7:15:03 GMT
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Post by sdfkjgh on Sept 1, 2024 9:35:11 GMT
magic.wizards.com/en/news/magic-story/side-six-its-a-beautiful-day1) 5:28 Excluding Big Momma Em, who would win, Innistrad or Duskmourn? 2) 11:23 Is...is that a fucking fanny pack?! Oh, Himbo, WHY?! Also, earlier in the vid, he was mentioned as being the Jock archetype, which reminded me of Old Man Henderson. 13) 11:39 Dat lip bite, doe. Unf!4) 13:45 I'll just leave this here.5) 18:32 God, I hope we'll eventually get Rooms with more than just two sides. 6) 26:11 www.reddit.com/r/ColossalDreadmaw/7) 33:02 I have thoughts.8) 34:09 Is nobody calling it "Bear Hug" anymore? Whatever happened to that? 9) 36:58 Hmm, looks familiar...10) 37:15 That flavor text got me thinking: What if a ceasefire 2 was called long enough for the survivors to develop a space program? 311) 37:50 People laughed at me when I suggested combining the Archenemy, Commander, Emperor, Prismatic, and SuperWeenie formats into one big voltron I called The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny, but look at what WotC themselves are now doing! Course, I was wearing underwear on my head, a lampshade around my area, and balloon animals as nipple tassels, but I'm 100% positive that had absolutely nothing to do with their laughter! 12) 44:17 Flavor text got me thinking "What if we pushed a nuke set to go of in 3 seconds through one of the doors, then slammed the door shut? Or would that just introduce Valgavoth to the exciting new terrors and dreads of living under the constant threat of nuclear annihilation?" 1I wanna see a movie version of this epic saga, but only if it does justice & stays faithful to the source material, and that it fully involves both Waffle House Millionaire and A Self Called Nowhere from start to finish. Also Jeff Bridges. 2Free Palestine! Free Gaza! 3I still want a crossover set with The Foundation.
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Post by sdfkjgh on Sept 3, 2024 23:40:55 GMT
 Big Himbo Energy. HUGE.THE BIGGEST! |
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Post by sdfkjgh on Sept 3, 2024 23:58:22 GMT
www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mYQLkstDs81) 3:57 Meathook Massacre III   Sorcery  X target players lose the game. 2) 7:59 We'd better keep lauren boebert away from this one. 3) 11:04 This is pretty much how I dreamed Arno Coleman would look. 4) 12:32 Yes, it's low-hanging fruit, yes, it's a little anvillicious, but still: cults, trump, loss of humanity, they're weird & out of touch with reality, etc., etc., etc. 5) 20:16 I don't know why this thought occurred to me here, but this thought occurred to me here: what if WotC printed a card, an actual card, that had the typeline "Token Legendary Artifact Creature--Scarecrow"? Paging Dogged Hunter... 6) 22:40 My brother-in-law's mother died recently, and while visiting my aunt up in Walnut Creek for the funeral, I was finally able to watch The 10th Kingdom. Why am I bringing this up? Elevator scene. 7) 31:27 Hmmm. This would suggest that Scrabbling Skullcrab is a lot smaller than its card would have you believe. I thought the crab was at least 4' tall. Forced perspective's a real bitch. 8) 34:09 Hmmm. Not quite as chill as Arno, then. 9) 35:06 Why isn't this a Curse? Everything about it screams "Enchantment--Aura Curse" except the typeline! 10) 36:02 I just noticed what the "nose", "mouth", & "whiskers" of the promo illustration actually are. 11) 41:50 Art on the left reminds me of the final shot of The Shining. 12) 43:42 Calling it right now: Duskmourn will be remembered more for the himbo running throughout the set & story than anything else. 13) 49:17 Let's say an Innistradi Werewolf wandered through a Valgavoth door. Would a Werewolf even be able to transform on Duskmourn? I mean, there hasn't been a day/night cycle on the plane since the house swallowed up the second sun, so how would that even work? 14) 50:19 I think I know of a way: A) Manifest a Room with Ixidor, Reality Sculptor on your side. B) Activate Ixidor, turning the manifested Room face up. C)  D) PROFIT! One final note: Both Emily and Jadine's mics needed to be better, I could barely hear them throughout the entire vid; and as we all know, subtitles on youtube are atrocious at best if they're not done by the channel itself.
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Post by sdfkjgh on Sept 4, 2024 20:39:32 GMT
1)  NOPE! NOPE RIGHT THE FUCK OFF!!! 2)  For a second, I read this as "No Light, No Hope". Frankly, that name would also be rather appropriate for this set. |
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Post by sdfkjgh on Sept 6, 2024 14:09:19 GMT
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Post by sdfkjgh on Sept 7, 2024 0:09:03 GMT
1)   These are the first two things that greet me when "New Cards" is selected. Thanks a lot, Wizards. It's not like I haven't been having sleeping problems these past 7 or 8 days. 12)  Mara. Also, clammy hands. 3)  It's a little obvious, but who can resist the classics?1I've gone nocturnal to beat the heat, and it's been rough. Out of 7 or 8 days this entire week, I've only slept 2 full periods of at least 9 hours. Pretty sure something like that'd cause brain damage. |
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D) PROFIT!
