Post by thaneofglamis on Jul 2, 2020 18:08:30 GMT
Some feedback from a quick long glance:
-On AAT Battle Tank, it can't track how many battle droids crew it since that's not a creature type. If you made it just droids that would be fine. Also, its crew ability should be the last line of text, separate from absorb and repair.
-Battle Droid Army doesn't have power/toughness.
-Mechanically and flavor-wise Bull Rancor should not be white.
-Hyena Bomber Droid's damage ability is red, not white.
-Flavor-wise it makes sense for Jedi Lightsaber to be white, but the wither it gives is definitely not a white ability.
-MTT Battle Tank has the same formatting issues as AAT Battle Tank.
-Predatory Nexu, similar to Bull Rancor, should not be white, although it has a better case than the rancor since even wild Cats can be white in Magic.
-Sifo-Dyas is a little stronger than Ranger-Captain of Eos for the same cost. I think its mana cost should be bumped up or have it put the tutored card into your hand instead of onto the battlefield.
-On Worrt Watchdog, I don't think ravenous is really a white ability, since it only really appears on black cards in existing Magic, but I think it could be without a color pie break.
-Anakin's first ability is definitely not a blue one.That's a black ability for sure. Also, Anakin doesn't really seem like a blue character to me.
-As written, once the enchanted creature of Jedi Mind Trick no longer has the lowest toughness, it falls off and goes to the graveyard. That might be intentional. Either way, flavor win!
-Windu's Lightsaber has wither, again an out of color ability.
-It's weird that neither 4-LOM or Zuckuss can put bounty counters on creatures, despite greatly benefiting from them.
-The more traditional wording for Aquire Target would have you lose 2 life instead of it dealing damage to you.
-On Battle Droid Battalion, Modular is always the last line of text, like crew.
-There isn't really an existing card to compare to Bib Fortuna, but I don't think it's horribly overpowered.
-Syphon Life Force can't give lifelink to "sources of damage". Instead, say "Whenever an opponent is dealt noncombat damage, you gain that much life." Much cleaner.
-On Bowdaar, you can just say it fights target creature.
-While its abilities are red, Darth Vader doesn't seem like a very red character to me. Apart from when he's created, he doesn't show any emotion whatsoever, and that's red's whole thing!
-I love the Hate mechanic, and Force Spark might be my favorite execution of it.
-Bossk's fight ability doesn't seem very useful, as if it's being blocked it'll be fighting that creature anyway. Only worth using against very high-toughness, low-power blockers that it wouldn't be able to kill normally but won't kill it back.
-The tokens Chirpa makes aren't creatures and don't have power, toughness, or color.
-Bionic is a bizarre keyword. Why not just make the card an artifact in its typeline?
-The Sarlacc is not white at all. It screams red/green.
-I don't get the blue in Ventress. She could easily be mono red with her current abilities.
-I don't remember seeing any Gangsters other than Black-Market Dealer. You could change it to a Rogue.
-Cad Bane shouldn't have first strike, it's not a green or black ability.
-I assume Chewbacca's wither represents him tearing off his enemies' arms? (:
-I don't see the blue in Cruelty of the Sith.
-Because he grows so slowly and relies on other spells to do so, Darth Sidious could cost less than 7 mana.
-Does Darth Tyrranus look for when a player's maximum hand size changes, or whenever they draw, play, or discard a card? If it's the second one, does it trigger once for each card drawn or discarded, or only once if they, for instance, draw three cards? Very confusing.
-Desann should be black, not blue.
-The wording on Dooku's ultimate doesn't work, because you could technically activate it when your opponent has 4 life. I'm not sure how to word it so it does work, though.
-Exogorth Space Slug should probably cost more or be smaller.
-Force Mastery is an enchantment, so it can't be tapped.
-Gardulla the Hutt is also a Gangster, could also be a Rogue.
-General Tarfful's last ability is very black, and it doesn't really have any white.
-Giran should have some red in there, since it can give creatures haste.
-Hassk Triplets' tokens aren't defined.
-Hungry Dragonsnake has no white whatsoever.
-So Hutt Crime Lord is a Gangster and a Rogue?? What's the difference?
-Independent Systems Confederacy is pretty strong. Should cost more.
-Technically King Gorneesh's tokens are defined, it why did you do it in reminder text instead of rules text?
-Klegger Mining Corp is a green card, not white/black.
-Lucrehulk also defines its tokens in reminder text for some reason.
-I don't see the white in Malakili.
-I would make Yoda's emblem a may effect, so you don't have to start exiling your own stuff.
-Matukai Meditation isn't green.
-Blocking multiple creatures isn't in red or black, despite it being very flavorful for Maul's Double Lightsaber.
-I love Nerf Herder, but it also defines its tokens in reminder text.
-When Obi-Wan removes creatures from combat, the creatures they were blocking will still be blocked and will assign no combat damage. This might be intentional.
-One-Arm is not white at all, especially not flavor-wise.
-Oppo Rancisis is incredibly annoying. That's it
-Phantom Menace is very powerful, as it protects all of your creatures (assuming you're playing sith tribal) and can't even be removed.
-I don't see the green in Ponda Baba.
-There isn't any precedent for doubling counters in red or white, so Primal Instinct might be out of color. The name also sounds really green.
-Rule of Two is another protective anthem like Phantom Menace that also can't be removed. Sure, you have to sacrifice it if you have a third Sith, but you can just not play another Sith.
-The Terentatek, the Griagh, the Zillo Beast, and Wild Gundark are not white whatsoever. At this point I've noticed you made Beast tribal a red/white/green thing, but why? Most of your white Beasts have no white abilities or effects.
-I don't think Wookiee Mystic should have wither.
-If Ewok Battlewagon has Crew 0, why not just make it an artifact creature at all times?
-I wish there was an R2-D2 card...
Those are all my thoughts. I don't know much about Star Wars, and I'm not experienced in MTG design, but I hope it was helpful.
-On AAT Battle Tank, it can't track how many battle droids crew it since that's not a creature type. If you made it just droids that would be fine. Also, its crew ability should be the last line of text, separate from absorb and repair.
-Battle Droid Army doesn't have power/toughness.
-Mechanically and flavor-wise Bull Rancor should not be white.
-Hyena Bomber Droid's damage ability is red, not white.
-Flavor-wise it makes sense for Jedi Lightsaber to be white, but the wither it gives is definitely not a white ability.
-MTT Battle Tank has the same formatting issues as AAT Battle Tank.
-Predatory Nexu, similar to Bull Rancor, should not be white, although it has a better case than the rancor since even wild Cats can be white in Magic.
-Sifo-Dyas is a little stronger than Ranger-Captain of Eos for the same cost. I think its mana cost should be bumped up or have it put the tutored card into your hand instead of onto the battlefield.
-On Worrt Watchdog, I don't think ravenous is really a white ability, since it only really appears on black cards in existing Magic, but I think it could be without a color pie break.
-Anakin's first ability is definitely not a blue one.That's a black ability for sure. Also, Anakin doesn't really seem like a blue character to me.
-As written, once the enchanted creature of Jedi Mind Trick no longer has the lowest toughness, it falls off and goes to the graveyard. That might be intentional. Either way, flavor win!
-Windu's Lightsaber has wither, again an out of color ability.
-It's weird that neither 4-LOM or Zuckuss can put bounty counters on creatures, despite greatly benefiting from them.
-The more traditional wording for Aquire Target would have you lose 2 life instead of it dealing damage to you.
-On Battle Droid Battalion, Modular is always the last line of text, like crew.
-There isn't really an existing card to compare to Bib Fortuna, but I don't think it's horribly overpowered.
-Syphon Life Force can't give lifelink to "sources of damage". Instead, say "Whenever an opponent is dealt noncombat damage, you gain that much life." Much cleaner.
-On Bowdaar, you can just say it fights target creature.
-While its abilities are red, Darth Vader doesn't seem like a very red character to me. Apart from when he's created, he doesn't show any emotion whatsoever, and that's red's whole thing!
-I love the Hate mechanic, and Force Spark might be my favorite execution of it.
-Bossk's fight ability doesn't seem very useful, as if it's being blocked it'll be fighting that creature anyway. Only worth using against very high-toughness, low-power blockers that it wouldn't be able to kill normally but won't kill it back.
-The tokens Chirpa makes aren't creatures and don't have power, toughness, or color.
-Bionic is a bizarre keyword. Why not just make the card an artifact in its typeline?
-The Sarlacc is not white at all. It screams red/green.
-I don't get the blue in Ventress. She could easily be mono red with her current abilities.
-I don't remember seeing any Gangsters other than Black-Market Dealer. You could change it to a Rogue.
-Cad Bane shouldn't have first strike, it's not a green or black ability.
-I assume Chewbacca's wither represents him tearing off his enemies' arms? (:
-I don't see the blue in Cruelty of the Sith.
-Because he grows so slowly and relies on other spells to do so, Darth Sidious could cost less than 7 mana.
-Does Darth Tyrranus look for when a player's maximum hand size changes, or whenever they draw, play, or discard a card? If it's the second one, does it trigger once for each card drawn or discarded, or only once if they, for instance, draw three cards? Very confusing.
-Desann should be black, not blue.
-The wording on Dooku's ultimate doesn't work, because you could technically activate it when your opponent has 4 life. I'm not sure how to word it so it does work, though.
-Exogorth Space Slug should probably cost more or be smaller.
-Force Mastery is an enchantment, so it can't be tapped.
-Gardulla the Hutt is also a Gangster, could also be a Rogue.
-General Tarfful's last ability is very black, and it doesn't really have any white.
-Giran should have some red in there, since it can give creatures haste.
-Hassk Triplets' tokens aren't defined.
-Hungry Dragonsnake has no white whatsoever.
-So Hutt Crime Lord is a Gangster and a Rogue?? What's the difference?
-Independent Systems Confederacy is pretty strong. Should cost more.
-Technically King Gorneesh's tokens are defined, it why did you do it in reminder text instead of rules text?
-Klegger Mining Corp is a green card, not white/black.
-Lucrehulk also defines its tokens in reminder text for some reason.
-I don't see the white in Malakili.
-I would make Yoda's emblem a may effect, so you don't have to start exiling your own stuff.
-Matukai Meditation isn't green.
-Blocking multiple creatures isn't in red or black, despite it being very flavorful for Maul's Double Lightsaber.
-I love Nerf Herder, but it also defines its tokens in reminder text.
-When Obi-Wan removes creatures from combat, the creatures they were blocking will still be blocked and will assign no combat damage. This might be intentional.
-One-Arm is not white at all, especially not flavor-wise.
-Oppo Rancisis is incredibly annoying. That's it
-Phantom Menace is very powerful, as it protects all of your creatures (assuming you're playing sith tribal) and can't even be removed.
-I don't see the green in Ponda Baba.
-There isn't any precedent for doubling counters in red or white, so Primal Instinct might be out of color. The name also sounds really green.
-Rule of Two is another protective anthem like Phantom Menace that also can't be removed. Sure, you have to sacrifice it if you have a third Sith, but you can just not play another Sith.
-The Terentatek, the Griagh, the Zillo Beast, and Wild Gundark are not white whatsoever. At this point I've noticed you made Beast tribal a red/white/green thing, but why? Most of your white Beasts have no white abilities or effects.
-I don't think Wookiee Mystic should have wither.
-If Ewok Battlewagon has Crew 0, why not just make it an artifact creature at all times?
-I wish there was an R2-D2 card...
Those are all my thoughts. I don't know much about Star Wars, and I'm not experienced in MTG design, but I hope it was helpful.