harrowed777
1/1 Squirrel
Posts: 69 
Set Hub: Harrowed777's Set Hub
Formerly Known As: OCB777
Favorite Card: Alexander Clamilton
Favorite Set: Horrors of Nocturne
Color Alignment: White, Blue, Black
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Post by harrowed777 on May 7, 2020 0:09:47 GMT
Making a commander set for my playgroup, looking for thoughts and feedback re: wording and overall balance. Playtesting has been done, but in an attempt to make it as much like a real Commander set as possible, each deck is planned to contain 15 new cards. I could use fresh eyes and feedback The Helmet in front of a Planeswalker's name denotes that it can be your commander.The Commanders:
Aidan -- Brenton -- Randall -- Tim -- Other cards:
Cycle of Undaunted Dragons -- New Temptations -- Everything Else -- |
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Post by fluffydeathbringer on May 7, 2020 2:50:15 GMT
- why have these type shenanigans with aidan's +1? when you create a token, it defines its types as the kind of token being created, so currently the token is a Steamthopter Thopter. you could just say "create a 0/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature token with flying named Steamthopter" - aidan's -3 is also super weak. considering how the effectiveness of it relies solely on what your opponents are doing you could lop off the destruction rider at least, especially considering the thopters aidan creates have no power on their own anyway - brenton's ult is ridiculously weak
- randall's ult is real cool though - how is tim's -1 supposed to work - loyalty retainer doesn't count a planeswalker dying from 0 loyalty, which looks like an oversight
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harrowed777
1/1 Squirrel
Posts: 69
Set Hub: Harrowed777's Set Hub
Formerly Known As: OCB777
Favorite Card: Alexander Clamilton
Favorite Set: Horrors of Nocturne
Color Alignment: White, Blue, Black
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Post by harrowed777 on May 7, 2020 4:41:10 GMT
- why have these type shenanigans with aidan's +1? when you create a token, it defines its types as the kind of token being created, so currently the token is a Steamthopter Thopter. you could just say "create a 0/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature token with flying named Steamthopter" - aidan's -3 is also super weak. considering how the effectiveness of it relies solely on what your opponents are doing you could lop off the destruction rider at least, especially considering the thopters aidan creates have no power on their own anyway - brenton's ult is ridiculously weak
- randall's ult is real cool though - how is tim's -1 supposed to work - loyalty retainer doesn't count a planeswalker dying from 0 loyalty, which looks like an oversight
Taking your thoughts under consideration. In answer to the questions you asked: Re Aidan's Wording - I suck at wording cards. lol Tim's -1: This is supposed to be a card draw machine paired with a deck designed around Will of the Council and Council's Dilemma. Now my specific question: How would you beef up Brent's Ult to bring him in line with the others?
Posted updated versions of cards.
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Post by fluffydeathbringer on May 7, 2020 8:54:50 GMT
Tim's -1: This is supposed to be a card draw machine paired with a deck designed around Will of the Council and Council's Dilemma. Now my specific question: How would you beef up Brent's Ult to bring him in line with the others?
- no, I get that part, but how is it meant to work with votes? loyalty abilities can only be activated at sorcery speed, so you'd have to activate it either before or after a vote (or several) have taken place. neither of those really works with the current wording. - something with more impact than lifegain. maybe "you get an emblem with "whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell, exile up to one target nonland permanent until Tim leaves the battlefield"? I'd also up the starting loyalty because it's way too small (and increase ult cost accordingly)
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Post by Daij_Djan on May 7, 2020 14:17:47 GMT
Concerning the wording on your nonplaneswalker cards:
Deadly Strike  Sorcery  As additional cost to cast this spell, remove X loyalty counters from a planeswalker you control. Remove X loyalty counters from target planeswalker.
Duel of the Planeswalkers  Sorcery  If each player controls one or more planeswalkers, each player’s life total becomes twice the highest number of loyalty counters on a planeswalker they control.
Loyalty Retainer Artifact Creature - Samurai Construct  : Proliferate. Whenever a planeswalker you control is put into the graveyard from the battlefield, you may sacrifice Loyalty Retainer. If you do, return that planeswalker to the battlefield with two loyalty counters on it. 2/2
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harrowed777
1/1 Squirrel
Posts: 69
Set Hub: Harrowed777's Set Hub
Formerly Known As: OCB777
Favorite Card: Alexander Clamilton
Favorite Set: Horrors of Nocturne
Color Alignment: White, Blue, Black
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Post by harrowed777 on May 8, 2020 7:38:28 GMT
Concerning the wording on your nonplaneswalker cards: Thank you for the feedback. |
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harrowed777
1/1 Squirrel
Posts: 69
Set Hub: Harrowed777's Set Hub
Formerly Known As: OCB777
Favorite Card: Alexander Clamilton
Favorite Set: Horrors of Nocturne
Color Alignment: White, Blue, Black
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Post by harrowed777 on May 8, 2020 7:41:33 GMT
- no, I get that part, but how is it meant to work with votes? loyalty abilities can only be activated at sorcery speed, so you'd have to activate it either before or after a vote (or several) have taken place. neither of those really works with the current wording. The idea was that it was at sorcery speed and would be activated and cover the votes made on that turn. Sorry. Again, interesting ideas, shite wording. Comes from playing too many different games. lol
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harrowed777
1/1 Squirrel
Posts: 69
Set Hub: Harrowed777's Set Hub
Formerly Known As: OCB777
Favorite Card: Alexander Clamilton
Favorite Set: Horrors of Nocturne
Color Alignment: White, Blue, Black
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Post by harrowed777 on Jul 7, 2020 23:57:43 GMT
Did quite a bit of updating since my last post. Please take a look and share your thoughts in regards to wording and balance. Thanks!
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thaneofglamis
8/8 Octopus
Thane's activated abilities can't be activated
Posts: 444
Favorite Card: Slimefoot, the Stowaway; Phyrexian Rager; Swarm Shambler
Favorite Set: Midnight Hunt
Color Alignment: Green
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Post by thaneofglamis on Jul 8, 2020 8:27:43 GMT
-Is Aiden's -3 supposed to be permanent?
-What makes Monster Arena blue at all?
-As a Pokemon fan, Tyrunt fluctuating between evolving and devolving seems really weird flavor-wise.
-Brenton's -2 should be phrased: "Return target creature to its owner's hand. You gain life equal to its power." and his emblem could say "Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell, you may draw a card. If you don't, you gain 3 life." The draw is also superior to the lifegain in every instance other than when you're about to be killed and it'll save you.
-Not sure if Warden of Peace is broken or just strong, but again the lifegain pales in comparison to the draw.
-Rob isn't red.
-Tim's passive basically says "as long as it's your turn", since you can just become the monarch again every turn. I don't really get the theming or the strategy for Tim either. Does he want monarch stuff, or artifact creature tribal, or voting cards?
-Sunspire Dragon is the strongest, as it'll grow really fast in a commander environment. Frenzied is also strong, as it's basically a 4 mana 7/4 with flying. Screeching Dragon is pretty weak. Why is Storm Dragon called that?
-For Tempt with Rebirth, white usually gets resurrection to battlefield at around 4 cmc, and tempting offers usually cost more than the average since you can get a lot of value out of them. Should cost more.
-Tempt with Power is very weak, as unless all your opponents are also playing suspended stuff you're getting a really bad rate. Also the name doesn't really make sense.
-I'd make Tempt with *Sacrifice cost 4.
-Tempt with Brutality is pretty weak. Your opponents will rarely want trample if you do, and it costs 3 mana for an effect worse than cycling a Titanoth Rex.
-God damn Jace is jacked
This was just a quick glance, I'm sure I missed some stuff. Also, I think you forgot the "can be your commander" text on the planeswalkers.
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harrowed777
1/1 Squirrel
Posts: 69
Set Hub: Harrowed777's Set Hub
Formerly Known As: OCB777
Favorite Card: Alexander Clamilton
Favorite Set: Horrors of Nocturne
Color Alignment: White, Blue, Black
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Post by harrowed777 on Jul 8, 2020 18:50:49 GMT
"-Is Aiden's -3 supposed to be permanent?
"-Brenton's -2 should be phrased: "Return target creature to its owner's hand. You gain life equal to its power." and his emblem could say "Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell, you may draw a card. If you don't, you gain 3 life." The draw is also superior to the lifegain in every instance other than when you're about to be killed and it'll save you."There are alternate wins and strategies that use lifegain. And it might save you from an onslaught of Dinosaurs. Wording notes taken. Thanks. "-Tim's passive basically says "as long as it's your turn", since you can just become the monarch again every turn. I don't really get the theming or the strategy for Tim either. Does he want monarch stuff, or artifact creature tribal, or voting cards?"
So, that is incorrect, you are the monarch until you lose the monarchy. Unless you have a way to directly take the monarchy from Tim, the only way to take it is to deal combat damage to the player. Tim having First Striking, Deathtouching, Lifelinked creatures is a deterrent to the attack and a way to defend his monarchy.
In regards to the theming, Yes. He wants all three, optimally. And in a 100 card deck it is more than possible to play all three to great effect.
"-Why is Storm Dragon called that?"
Art? 
"-For Tempt with Rebirth, white usually gets resurrection to battlefield at around 4 cmc, and tempting offers usually cost more than the average since you can get a lot of value out of them. Should cost more.
-Tempt with Power is very weak, as unless all your opponents are also playing suspended stuff you're getting a really bad rate. Also the name doesn't really make sense.
-I'd make Tempt with *Sacrifice cost 4.
-Tempt with Brutality is pretty weak. Your opponents will rarely want trample if you do, and it costs 3 mana for an effect worse than cycling a Titanoth Rex."I will definitely take these notes into account when I consider revisions. "This was just a quick glance, I'm sure I missed some stuff. Also, I think you forgot the 'can be your commander' text on the planeswalkers."
I refer you to the line before The commanders section "The Helmet in front of a Planeswalker's name denotes that it can be your commander."
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harrowed777
1/1 Squirrel
Posts: 69
Set Hub: Harrowed777's Set Hub
Formerly Known As: OCB777
Favorite Card: Alexander Clamilton
Favorite Set: Horrors of Nocturne
Color Alignment: White, Blue, Black
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Post by harrowed777 on Jan 27, 2021 1:51:25 GMT
Posted a huge update with new cards and a ton of edited cards.
Thanks in advance for feedback. |
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thaneofglamis
8/8 Octopus
Thane's activated abilities can't be activated
Posts: 444
Favorite Card: Slimefoot, the Stowaway; Phyrexian Rager; Swarm Shambler
Favorite Set: Midnight Hunt
Color Alignment: Green
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Post by thaneofglamis on Jan 27, 2021 5:03:33 GMT
-Aidan:
Aidan's +1 should say "Target creature becomes an enchantment creature until end of turn.", and his -6 should have "owners' hands." The dude is also pretty weak. His +1 will nearly never do anything, as most cards that care about enchantments care about them entering the battlefield. -Join the Throng:
-Satyr Sword Dancer: "When you cast ~, if you control an Aidan planeswalker, return target nonland permanent to its owner's hand." Haste on a UG creature feels really off. Technically green is tertiary in haste, but blue doesn't get it at all. -Tyrannotops: Maybe too strong? Three mana for a free card and possibly more could get a little crazy. Not sure. -Brenton: "You get an emblem", but looks good otherwise. -Brenton's Acolyte: That mana cost gives me a headache. Why does it need to be three different hybrids? Its abilities need all three colors anyway. Also, "Tap target creature you don't control." -Exchange of Ideas: Goodness that's a lot of cards. I think the downside of giving everyone else an extra draw does not balance out drawing two cards plus two more every turn, possibly three if you keep Brenton alive. Too much card advantage.
-Warden of Chaos: "put a counter", "You gain X life", and "Warden of Chaos deals X damage to any target". Also, you have to specify what kind of counter. Charge counters or chaos counters could work. Balance-wise it seems fine. -Randall: Unfortunately, you can't suspend cards you don't own. I would redo his -10 ability, or carefully rephrase it to technically not give suspend, but have the same effect. Might be too wordy to fit in the box, though.
-Evolving Hydra: "As ~ enters the battlefield, you may move any number of +1/+1 counters from other creatures you control onto ~." It needs to say "as" instead of "when", or it would die from having 0 toughness before getting the counters. -Magical Manipulation: Again, not a fan of triple double hybrid. Otherwise looks fine. -Show of Power: Based off the Will cards from CMR, "Choose two. If you control a Randall planeswalker as you cast this spell, choose one or more instead." This is a potentially huge card, but I think it's probably fine in commander. Maybe bump the CMC to 6. -Tim: "As long as you're the monarch, artifact creatures you control have first strike, deathtouch, and lifelink." Just that ability alone is worth significantly more than three mana. It turns all your 1/1 Servos into perfect blockers, and you can keep being the monarch indefinitely as long as Tim stays alive - again not hard, since you have perfect blockers. Tim should cost around 5 or 6 mana. Also, while the last ability makes sense after some thinking, it's new design space that may not work with the current comprehensive rules. -Advice of the Council: Your opponents are never going to give you a card. In commander, 2 life is negligible compared to card draw. Best case scenario, you can draw a few extra cards with Tim's -1. I would make it 4 mana. -Assassin's Contract:
First, it needs to be an Aura. Second, "Whenever enchanted player is attacked, create a Clue token. Each opponent attacking that player does the same. Then exile ~. If you control a Tim planeswalker, return ~ from exile to your hand." All one ability. Otherwise, I like the design.
-Shadow Strix: Yadda yadda triple hybrid. This one is actually a color pie break, or at least a severe bend, as white/black doesn't get Curiosity and white/blue doesn't get discard on hit.
More commentary coming later, probably!
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harrowed777
1/1 Squirrel
Posts: 69
Set Hub: Harrowed777's Set Hub
Formerly Known As: OCB777
Favorite Card: Alexander Clamilton
Favorite Set: Horrors of Nocturne
Color Alignment: White, Blue, Black
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Post by harrowed777 on Jan 27, 2021 7:37:54 GMT
-Randall: Unfortunately, you can't suspend cards you don't own. I would redo his -10 ability, or carefully rephrase it to technically not give suspend, but have the same effect. Might be too wordy to fit in the box, though.
I appreciate you taking the time to look these over. I will likely go over your notes and make some changes tomorrow. I checked the rules on Suspend, and the real issue seems to be 1) my wording had Randall "casting" them as if the had suspend, instead of exiling them. 2) That when they leave exile the owner casts them. I think changing it to "Select any number of permanent cards in any graveyards, you may exile them all as if they had “Suspend 2 0”. They are cast as if you were their owner." resolves the issues without creating too much text (and keeping in mind these will likely never be played out of our playgroup.) |
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harrowed777
1/1 Squirrel
Posts: 69
Set Hub: Harrowed777's Set Hub
Formerly Known As: OCB777
Favorite Card: Alexander Clamilton
Favorite Set: Horrors of Nocturne
Color Alignment: White, Blue, Black
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Post by harrowed777 on Jan 27, 2021 8:28:59 GMT
-Aidan:
Aidan's +1 should say "Target creature becomes an enchantment creature until end of turn.", and his -6 should have "owners' hands." The dude is also pretty weak. His +1 will nearly never do anything, as most cards that care about enchantments care about them entering the battlefield. -Tyrannotops: Maybe too strong? Three mana for a free card and possibly more could get a little crazy. Not sure. -Exchange of Ideas: Goodness that's a lot of cards. I think the downside of giving everyone else an extra draw does not balance out drawing two cards plus two more every turn, possibly three if you keep Brenton alive. Too much card advantage.
-Randall: Unfortunately, you can't suspend cards you don't own. I would redo his -10 ability, or carefully rephrase it to technically not give suspend, but have the same effect. Might be too wordy to fit in the box, though.
-Show of Power: Based off the Will cards from CMR, "Choose two. If you control a Randall planeswalker as you cast this spell, choose one or more instead." This is a potentially huge card, but I think it's probably fine in commander. Maybe bump the CMC to 6. -Tim: "As long as you're the monarch, artifact creatures you control have first strike, deathtouch, and lifelink." Just that ability alone is worth significantly more than three mana. It turns all your 1/1 Servos into perfect blockers, and you can keep being the monarch indefinitely as long as Tim stays alive - again not hard, since you have perfect blockers. Tim should cost around 5 or 6 mana. Also, while the last ability makes sense after some thinking, it's new design space that may not work with the current comprehensive rules. -Advice of the Council: Your opponents are never going to give you a card. In commander, 2 life is negligible compared to card draw. Best case scenario, you can draw a few extra cards with Tim's -1. I would make it 4 mana. -Shadow Strix: Yadda yadda triple hybrid. This one is actually a color pie break, or at least a severe bend, as white/black doesn't get Curiosity and white/blue doesn't get discard on hit. More commentary coming later, probably!
Okay, so I lied, I did it now. I will give Aidan some thought. I found out quite by accident that I was completely wrong about his favorite creature type after the playtesting was over, and struggled to make the card more thematic to that. Tyrannotops, Exchange of Ideas, and Show of Power are supposed to be big splashy, almost broken, better have an answer, type of cards. In an attempt to balance Tim, I increased his CMC to 5 (which it was supposed to be, but got lost in an update) and removed first strike, making his blockers a bit less perfect. Advice of the Council is supposed to be Tim's sleeper power card. Tim's deck runs Ballot Broker, Brago's Representative, and Illusion of Choice. Those plus Tim's -1 can make AotC an amazing card draw. The idea behind the strix was one part of it's power from each of it's colors. Flying from white, Discard from black, draw from blue. I honestly think that the color pie is often used as an excuse to give all the good cards to green. an occasional "bend" of the pie allows things to feel fresh and new. Now, maybe I should bump it up to 4 CMC as punishment for warping the pie, but outside of the "bend", I think it is a balanced card. The wording changes have been taken to heart and changed. I look forward to your notes on the rest of the cards, and your thoughts on my responses to your thoughts. lol |
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"When in doubt, do a common." 
