Dicking Around in Tosche Station, pt. 9: Everybody has AIDS

Dicking Around in Tosche Station, pt. 9: Everybody has AIDS Mar 5, 2020 20:19:27 GMT

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Post by sdfkjgh on Mar 5, 2020 20:19:27 GMT

Dicking Around in Tosche Station, pt. 9: Everybody has AIDS

Welcome back to Tosche Station errbody. Now that we’re done with No Res II, I was having a hard time figuring out what to do with the column, but then I remembered that I used to post my decklists under this banner, and I still have a few to go. So, without further ado, here’s my most flavorfully evil decklist:

Everybody has AIDS¹

1 Dreadship Reef	Because proliferate+storage land=good.
4 Drowned Catacomb	Because even Phyrexians can have buddies, apparently?
3 Halimar Depths	Because this is as close to a 187²--scry 3 land as we’re ever going to get.
4 Island
12 Swamp
1 Everflowing Chalice	Because proliferate+storage artifact=good.
1 Blighted Agent	Only 1 because our Plan A isn’t to rely on the combat phase.
3 Thrummingbird	My, how far we’ve come. I hate how the strict upgrade has been move to a third color.
3 Plague Stinger	Because this is the best rate for a flying infector we’re ever going to get.
2 Contagion Clasp	Because no matter how slow it may be, you could always use removal. Plus, it can sometimes get in that last counter.
1 Ichorclaw Myr	Because it’s NOT pronounced like “ick”!
3 Necropede	Because people rarely, if ever, seem to be able to properly take into account its death trigger.
1 Throne of Geth	Because hey, lookit all dese artifacts, mise well get in dat last counter, amirite?
3 Steady Progress	Because card draw. And compleating them on their own turn, but mostly card draw.
1 Grim Affliction	Because removal.
4 Ichor Rats	Because this is what starts the fun.
1 Phyrexian Crusader	Because Phyrexian Crusader.
1 Tezzeret’s Gambit	Because moar card draw.
4 Hand of the Praetors	Because what’s better than starting the infection? Accelerating its spread! Also, who needs to attack, when you can just sn ee ze on them?
3 Corpse Cur	Because recursion, and the “Oops, I win” Gravedigger loop possible with Hand.
2 Inexorable Tide	Because sometimes, all your hands have been cut off.
2 Liliana Vess	Because she does everything this deck wants in a planeswalker. Also, because I don’t normally play with planeswalkers.

Sideboard:

1 Whispering Specter

Because why not? Also, because moar discard. Also also because I’ve taken this because running gag too far, like I always do.

Well, that’s it for this week. Until next time, *ROOOOAAARR!!* *Pan to a shot of Daij_Djan’s bleached-white skeleton in the adjacent cage.*

SPOILER: Click to show

{Footnotes}

¹	Yes, I’m fully aware that that’s not the exact title.
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²	For those of you younger than ancient and decrepit, 187 is old Magic-ese slang for “When this enters the battlefield”. Its origins are from the California Penal Code and Nekrataal.