Deckbuilder’s Challenge Feb 13, 2020 18:10:56 GMT
Post by Telim'Tor on Feb 13, 2020 18:10:56 GMT
CADET FROGGATT! STEP FORWARD!
Oh, dear gods, what the hell do you wan--
DID I SAY YOU COULD SPEAK?! DID I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO DO ANYTHING BUT TAKE A GODDAMN STEP FORWARD? NO, I BELIEVE I DID NOT! SO STEP YOUR ASS FORWARD BEFORE I BREAK IT OFF FOR YOU!
Listen, asshole, I don’t have time for your petty, penny-ante tactics. In case you haven’t been paying attention, there’s already a malignant narcissist we’ve gotta deal with, and--
NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR CANDY-ASS POLITICS, SWEETHEART! I’VE GOT A REAL PROBLEM YOU CAN DEAL WITH!
Ok, I’ll bite. What’s your problem, besides being a pain in my ass?
YOU BROKE THE MASQUERADE, YOU DROPPED THE FAÇADE! YOU ROBBED ME OF MY GLORY!
Glory? Listen, you puffed-up little figmentous shit! You make me empathize with fascists! You make me feel dirty every time I have to write for you! You have the lowest numbers out of all my characters! I had grand plans for your storyline, even eventually introducing a Planar Chaos-style alternate history version of you, to do battle with, but all of that fell by the wayside when my dad had his open-heart surgery. That kinda scare can definitely lead to a reassessment of priorities, and the current dumpsterfire political climate matching the real fire of the actual climate only serves to magnify that. So, I realized that I don’t wanna deal with your wrong- and pigheadedness. “Begone, you have no power here” and all that, I’m taking over the column.
YOU CAN’T DO THAT!
You’re actually telling your creator that he can’t do something? I bet you don’t even realize how egotistical that is.
CADET Daij_Djan, HELP ME OUT, HERE, AND I PROMISE YOU, THERE’LL BE A FIELD PROMOTION TO COLONEL!
Do you really think he’d be willing to take over writing duties for you? Motherfucker, I made this facet of you, and I’ll do with it as I please. And I please to retire your tiring ass, so fuck off back to whatever mental corner I unfortunately dredged you up from, and don’t come back until I summon you again, which won’t be for a very. Long. Time!
I can start us off with my embarrassing deck, but I don’t have the exact numbers for it. I can give good estimates, but you be the judge of how successful it could’ve been:
3 Kiki-Jiki, Mirror Breaker
3 or 4 Cephalid Looter
2-4 Cephalid Broker
4 Underworld Dreams
Either 1 or 3 Honden of Infinite Rage
Either 1 or 2 Honden of Seeing Winds
1 Honden of Night’s Reach
1 Intruder Alarm
Some additional, unremembered cards
And a completely untenable mixture of the appropriate Basic lands ONLY! No duals, trilands weren’t even a thing yet--ok, USABLE trilands weren’t even a thing yet.
I know, it’s pretty close to being “just a pile of cards I had at hand”, but there’s an actual strategy to the deck, and I actually went out and bought singles for it. My first time buying singles for a specific deck, too.
So what’s all your first decks?