Post by sdfkjgh on Jan 18, 2020 19:39:35 GMT
This is the ending, the ending of our story. The ending, the ending, the ending.1
This is it, kiddies. The very last episode of No Reservations II. We had some laughs, some controversies, and a whole heck of a lotta incoherent rambling from yours falsely. If I inspired even one forum member to start a rebuttal series on the same topic, it’ll have all been worth it. THAT’S RIGHT, PEOPLE, I WANNA HEAR HOW YOU’D ALL DISMANTLE THE RESERVED LIST! LET’S SEE THOSE REBUTTALS, CHOP CHOP!!
Anyway, List and tally:
- 73 cards stay on The Reserved List.
- 253 cards get reprinted in Standard.
- 76 cards get reprinted in supplemental sets.
158 cards that should’ve been prevented from ever having despoiled the timestream.- Dark Ritual has been added to The New Revised Reserved List.
10 cards have been retroactively added to the list of cards that should’ve been prevented from ever having despoiled the timestream.
BSQ: 498/571, or 87.215411558669%.
Urza’s Destiny and No Reservations II concluded
{When even Wizards of the Coast not only agrees with the sentiment, but makes multiple jokes acknowledging the fact of a card’s brokenness, it’s unavoidably broken.}
Masticore 74 (Where did you think I was gonna put it? 254?)
Price
Yes, creatures have gotten better2, but who the hell wants to deal with something that can mow down multiple creatures so easily? I’m not sure I wanna live in a world where Masticore is considered ok for Standard. I hope nobody ever sees that world.
Masticore 74 (Where did you think I was gonna put it? 254?)
Price
{Here are just some of the jokes WotC’s made about Masticore being broken.}
Deep Analysis
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Remodel
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Deep Analysis
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Remodel
Price
Yes, creatures have gotten better2, but who the hell wants to deal with something that can mow down multiple creatures so easily? I’m not sure I wanna live in a world where Masticore is considered ok for Standard. I hope nobody ever sees that world.
{Did you know that this next card was part of a 6-card cycle, which itself was part of a 12-card dual cycle of effects in Urza’s Destiny with a similar cost? Bet you can’t name ANY of the other 11 cards.}
Metalworker159
Price
Metalworker has too many things that went wrong. Why does it get double
for each card revealed, when every other card in the two cycles only count each card singly? Why does it cost so little? Why is it a 1/3? Did they think that they weren’t ever gonna make more low-cost artifacts? Did they think that they were gonna discontinue the artifact card type altogether after printing it? Everything that Metalworker got wrong, Sacellum Godspeaker got right.
Metalworker
Price
{Keying effects off of revealing cards from hand is quite the popular idea.}
Here’s those twelve, plus a few others.
Coldsnap also had a similar cycle, with, again, only one of those cards being relevant.
Time Spiral also got in on the fun.
Price
Here’s those twelve, plus a few others.
Coldsnap also had a similar cycle, with, again, only one of those cards being relevant.
Time Spiral also got in on the fun.
Price
Metalworker has too many things that went wrong. Why does it get double
for each card revealed, when every other card in the two cycles only count each card singly? Why does it cost so little? Why is it a 1/3? Did they think that they weren’t ever gonna make more low-cost artifacts? Did they think that they were gonna discontinue the artifact card type altogether after printing it? Everything that Metalworker got wrong, Sacellum Godspeaker got right.{See No Reservations II, pt. 13a, Tempest block for reference.}
Opalescence 254, upgraded from
to 
, to match the provided example, and Humility’s new rarity.
Everything I said about Humility applies to Opalescence. Just for good measure, if/when these two do get reprinted, I’d prefer to have no less than three years’ separation between them.
Opalescence 254, upgraded from
to , to match the provided example, and Humility’s new rarity.{See, they CAN reprint a shockingly similar effect in Standard without causing the rules nightmare that also printing a shockingly similar effect to its partner in Judge headaches would inevitably cause.}
Starfield of Nyx
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Starfield of Nyx
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Everything I said about Humility applies to Opalescence. Just for good measure, if/when these two do get reprinted, I’d prefer to have no less than three years’ separation between them.
{Yet another “Vindicated by Time Spiral Block” card.}
Phyrexian Negator 255, downgraded from to 
, to match Phyrexian Totem. I don’t care what the so-called avant-garde, left-wing, intellectual namby-pambies Duel Decks: Phyrexia vs. the Coalition says, IT IS FILTH! it’s a mediocre card that, like a memeto-cognitohazard, infects its viewers with fatal rose-tinted glasses.
Price
Poor, poor Phyrexian Obliterator. It was hailed as the fabled Second Coming of Negator, only THIS time, it was all upside! Everyone was freaking out about Obliterator, it was supposed to be this insurmountable, unbeatable monstrosity, and then, on the last day of spoilers, when the entire set was revealed, with absolutely ZERO fanfair, along comes a mistake of a badly-costed card4 to shit on the poor, misshapen Horror’s parade with the most painful ”Nope!” in the game’s history (that is, until a certain alluring androgyne burst onto the scene).
There’s really only one reason why Phyrexian Negator is remembered so fondly. Back then, a 5/5 trampler for 3 “HAD” to have a massive downside, but nowadays, our three mana 5/5s are all upside.
Phyrexian Negator 255, downgraded from
to , to match Phyrexian Totem. I don’t care what Price
{Remember, creatures back then SUCKED!}
Phyrexian Totem
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Phyrexian Obliterator
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Cmc=3, pwr=5; pay special attention to Wayward Swordtooth, Woolly Thoctar, Thassa, God of the Sea, and Steel-Leaf Champion.
Phyrexian Totem
Price
Phyrexian Obliterator
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Cmc=3, pwr=5; pay special attention to Wayward Swordtooth, Woolly Thoctar, Thassa, God of the Sea, and Steel-Leaf Champion.
Poor, poor Phyrexian Obliterator. It was hailed as the fabled Second Coming of Negator, only THIS time, it was all upside! Everyone was freaking out about Obliterator, it was supposed to be this insurmountable, unbeatable monstrosity, and then, on the last day of spoilers, when the entire set was revealed, with absolutely ZERO fanfair, along comes a mistake of a badly-costed card4 to shit on the poor, misshapen Horror’s parade with the most painful ”Nope!” in the game’s history (that is, until a certain alluring androgyne burst onto the scene).
There’s really only one reason why Phyrexian Negator is remembered so fondly. Back then, a 5/5 trampler for 3 “HAD” to have a massive downside, but nowadays, our three mana 5/5s are all upside.
{The good folks at WotC R&D have publicly admitted that they fucked up on this one.}
Rofellos, Llanowar Emissary 75
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R&D while designing Rofellos: “Here’s an interesting design for a Super-Elf.
R&D after having seen what the players could do with it: “Oh no.”
I’m pretty sure For He’s aJolly Roll Jellyroll Fellos was a late-design/development change, with little to no playtesting time, and we all know how those turn out.
Rofellos, Llanowar Emissary 75
Price
R&D while designing Rofellos: “Here’s an interesting design for a Super-Elf.
R&D after having seen what the players could do with it: “Oh no.”
I’m pretty sure For He’s a
{Shenannygoat levels are off the charts, Captain!}
Replenish 76
Price
I actually stayed up to watch Stanislav Cifka’s Pro Tour win, and let me tell you, it’s amazing to watch. To watch. I haven’t seen much Replenish in action, but what I have seen was frustrating as hell, and I am in FULL agreement with Wizards’ decision to List it.
Replenish 76
Price
I actually stayed up to watch Stanislav Cifka’s Pro Tour win, and let me tell you, it’s amazing to watch. To watch. I haven’t seen much Replenish in action, but what I have seen was frustrating as hell, and I am in FULL agreement with Wizards’ decision to List it.
{Oh gods, it’s another one.}
Treachery 77
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Thank fuck this is the last of the inherently broken “free” mechanic.
Treachery 77
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Thank fuck this is the last of the inherently broken “free” mechanic.
{ If something’s sole defining traits are “Messily Complicated” and “Obviously Powerful”, what’s the ONLY thing remaining when you remove “Messily Complicated”?}
Yawgmoth’s Bargain160
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This article, from The Man himself, does a better job of explaining why Yawgmoth’s Bargain is such a huge mistake that never should’ve been made than I ever could.
Yawgmoth’s Bargain
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This article, from The Man himself, does a better job of explaining why Yawgmoth’s Bargain is such a huge mistake that never should’ve been made than I ever could.
And that’s it.
FINAL TALLY:
- 77 cards stay on The Reserved List.
- 257 cards get reprinted in Standard (with, in this episode, Opalescence upgraded from to , and Phyrexian Negator downgraded from to ).
- 76 cards get reprinted in supplemental sets.
160 cards that should’ve been prevented from ever having despoiled the timestream.- Dark Ritual has been added to The New Revised Reserved List.
10 cards have been retroactively added to the list of cards that should’ve been prevented from ever having despoiled the timestream.
BSQ: 504/581, or 86.74698795180723%. We never quite got to 90, but even with this BSQ lower than last week’s, I’d say it’s close enough to qualify as almost total bullshit.
And there you have it, folks. No Reservations II is done, dusted, forked, and cooked. I’ll see you all in a few weeks. Until then, thanks Daij_Djan, but will you take your ‘and off my knee, I’m tryin’ t’play the piano!
{Footnotes}
| 1 | I wanted to also include that bit from Animaniacs, but youtube doesn’t have it. Grrrr! |
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| 2 | And now they’re Elks!3 |
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| 3 | Seriously, they need to ban that card in all formats, chain it up under the biggest boulder they can find, and NEVER let it out to see the light of day ever again! And we ALL better pray that Wizards never swings the pendulum so far that BrOko seems reasonable again! |
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| 4 | It really should’ve cost   . |
