No Reservations II, pt. 14c: Urza block

{Eventually, every Magic player learns to fear bookkeeping questions.}

Multani, Maro-Sorcerer 246

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“Cards in hand?” “Cards in your graveyard?” “What’s your life total?” ”Got any threes?” Whenever any player asks any sort of question that monitors the quantity of something, you just know some shitnanigans are about to go down.


Now, we need to address the Elephant in the room. Shroud is the fair version of hexproof. Hexproof brought us the fiasco that is the Bogles deck. Hexproof came about because new players were misplaying shroud. Sometimes, giving the players what they want backfires. And I wanna know who these new players are that think “can’t be targeted” means “I can target them”. Actually, I wanna know who these veteran players are who aren’t adequately teaching that “can’t be targeted” means exactly “CAN’T BE TARGETED”!


Whenever I teach a new group how to play Magic, there’s always at least one person who thinks that creatures tap to block. Should we change the rules of blocking to match their expectations as well? HELL NO!


Anyway, Multani, Maro-Sorcerer is perfectly fine to reprint in Standard, especially considering his more recent form.

{The “free” mechanic is an inherently broken mistake.}

Palinchron 158

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With all of Urza block’s mistakes, thanks to that bounce ability, you could actually net mana by casting Palinchron multiple times. As if Great Whale wasn’t bad enough! As has been proven by Wilderness Reclamation decks, Prophet of Kruphix decks, Seedborn Muse decks, etc., untapping lands outside of your normal untap step is broken. Hell, Peregrine Drake broke Pauper recently, and had to be banned out of the format.


The “free” mechanic breaks Rule #1 and pisses on its corpse, and there’s no way to fix it without revamping it to add mana back to your pool.

{Aw, she ded.}

Radiant, Archangel 76, downgraded from to , to match Vintage Masters.

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Radiant is fine. Not much more to say about her. She ded, so Standard is out.

{Why is this even here?}

Ring of Gix 247

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The stupidity and arbitrariness of the differences between The Bone Crank and Ring of Gix, especially in regards to their respective Listed statuses, are so vast, I’m not even gonna argue them. Instead, here’s a jaunty little ditty about brother/sister incest.

{Here it is, kids. The card that eventually brought The Dude to Magic.}

Second Chance 248

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I’m just gonna leave this here.


You know, there are easier ways to get extra turns.


For extra Fateful Hour fun, here’s a deck submission of mine that actually got published. Also, check that section’s second-to-last sentence.

{Whaddya get when you cross Rapa Nui with A Clockwork Orange?}

Weatherseed Treefolk 249, downgraded from to , to match its even moar phallic-looking totem.

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And now you can’t unsee it.


There’s an informal guideline round these here parts: If it appeared in any way, shape, or form in Time Spiral block, it’s safe to reprint for Standard.

{Boi-yoi-yoi-yoi-yoing!}

Academy Rector 250 “Now wait just a damn minute! Are you insane?” some of you might be saying. Don’t worry, I’ll get to it.

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Right. The reason Academy Rector is problematic isn’t anything to do in and of herself. The REAL problems are the enchantments around her. In a set or format with Yawgmoth’s Bargain, Angelic Chorus, Back to Basics, Doubling Season, or any of the dozens of ludicrously OP enchantments, then yeah, keep her on The List. But, in a Standard that has no game-breaking enchantments? She’s perfectly fine (pronounced with an o before the i). A Standard like that is incredibly easy to create and cultivate, and this lil’ ol’ lady is in desperate need of reprinting.

{I first learned of this movie from a list of the scariest cult horror films. I don’t remember much from the list, or where on the net it is, just that it also contained Eyes Without a Face¹ and House².}

Carnival of Souls 251 (We just have to make sure there isn’t also something like Shadowborn Apostle in the same Standard.)

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I could’ve just as easily gone with ”Hullo, it’ss my birthday.” for the header.


Carnival of Souls is yet another in the loooooong line of “Why is this even here?” cards on The Reserved List. Alright, yes, it can get a little out of control in a ridiculously constrained deck with a rather fragile concept, but it self-regulates with that lifeloss. If/when this card gets reprinted, I hope I’m there to see the players try to break it. I’m betting that at worst, they’ll realise that they can, it’s just not worth it to do so.

{I adore rk post’s work, especially his “classic” period, pre-Lorwyn era.}

Covetous Dragon 252

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Nostalgia for past Pro Tour successes is DEFINITELY holding back Covetous Dragon’s reprinting chances. It’s not like creatures were even any good back then. It’s just that when an actually decent creature came along, it blew our freaking minds. Just ask Evan Erwin about Watchwolf.

{The only difference is a very small, very specific corner case, which I’ll explain later.}

Donate 253

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It’s later. So, let’s say you Threaten your opponent’s whatever. You could then Donate it to yourself in order to permanently retain control of it. Yes, that works. That’s it. That’s the only difference. Woo!

{Footnotes}