Post by Daij_Djan on Nov 24, 2019 0:21:13 GMT
Posted as requested instead of sdfkjgh as he's currently experiencing forum issues. ~Daij_Djan
I'M BACK, BITCHES!!!
My dad's all healed up from his double bypass surgery, he's well enough to lift small loads, and it feels so good to not have to worry about that anymore. 1 worry down, ∞ to go! At least the impeachment hearing seems to be going...ok, I guess? We all knew that the Democrats would be the ones who'd actually try to get shit done, while the
Because No Reservations II is back for its final slog through this damned List. A quick recap:
- 62 cards stay on The Reserved List.
- 228 cards get reprinted in Standard.
- 70 cards get reprinted in supplemental sets.
149 cards that should’ve been prevented from ever having despoiled the timestream.- Dark Ritual has been added to The New Revised Reserved List.
Naked Singularity, Bronze Tablet, Jeweled Bird, Rebirth, Tempest Efreet, and Rishadan Port have been retroactively added to the list of cards that should’ve been prevented from ever having despoiled the timestream.
BSQ: 454/516, or 87.98449612403101%.
Tempest (concluded), Stronghold, and Exodus:
{Gonna need some Windex for these damage-prevention windows when Storm Crow shows up.}
Orim, Samite Healer 71
Price
If Orim was safe enough to be reprinted in Tempest Remastered, it should be safe enough to reprint elsewhere. Since she's an important character in the Weatherlight saga, (SPOILER ALERT!) at the end of which she died, it'd be hard to reprint her for Standard.
Orim, Samite Healer 71
Price
{Equivalencies}
healers
healers
If Orim was safe enough to be reprinted in Tempest Remastered, it should be safe enough to reprint elsewhere. Since she's an important character in the Weatherlight saga, (SPOILER ALERT!) at the end of which she died, it'd be hard to reprint her for Standard.
{Oh look, DOUBLE BULLSHIT!}
Recycle 229
Price
Recycle was reprinted in Tempest Remastered, in addition to its Reserved List rulebreaking functional reprint in Planar Chaos, so it should be safe for Standard.
Recycle 229
Price
{IT'S THE EXACT SAME DAMN CARD!!!}
Null Profusion
Null Profusion
Recycle was reprinted in Tempest Remastered, in addition to its Reserved List rulebreaking functional reprint in Planar Chaos, so it should be safe for Standard.
{Remember when 
wasn't allowed to have its own Bear with no drawbacks? Pepperidge Farm remembers.}
Sarcomancy 230, downgraded from
to 
, to match Vintage Masters and Tempest Remastered.
Price
I was gonna say that from now on, if it was safe enough to reprint in Tempest Remastered, then it's safe enough to reprint elsewhere, but then I actually checked the rest of The Reserved List cards in Tempest block, and there's some stupidly-broken stuff that they actually put into Tempest Remastered. Nostalgia sure has a shitload of sins it must answer for.
Anyway, Sarcomancy isn't much different from Priest of the Blood Rite, and should be safe for Standard.
wasn't allowed to have its own Bear with no drawbacks? Pepperidge Farm remembers.}Sarcomancy 230, downgraded from
to , to match Vintage Masters and Tempest Remastered.Price
I was gonna say that from now on, if it was safe enough to reprint in Tempest Remastered, then it's safe enough to reprint elsewhere, but then I actually checked the rest of The Reserved List cards in Tempest block, and there's some stupidly-broken stuff that they actually put into Tempest Remastered. Nostalgia sure has a shitload of sins it must answer for.
Anyway, Sarcomancy isn't much different from Priest of the Blood Rite, and should be safe for Standard.
{My tinea versicolor's acting up again. Need to buy more Selenium Sulfide shampoo.}
Selenia, Dark Angel 72
Price
Tell you what, I'll only call it out when I come to an exception, like say, Dream Halls. Wydwen, the Biting Gale is especially telling, as it not only has almost the exact same stats, its art is also a callback to Selenia's.
Selenia, Dark Angel 72
Price
{They're all pretty much the exact same design.}
pay life to bounce
pay life to bounce
Tell you what, I'll only call it out when I come to an exception, like say, Dream Halls. Wydwen, the Biting Gale is especially telling, as it not only has almost the exact same stats, its art is also a callback to Selenia's.
Stronghold
{'e's an 'ungry boi}
Crovax the Cursed 73
Price
Crovax' first iteration is an interesting twist on Sengir Vampire, but isn't anything special to write home about beyond that. Ho-hum legendary rares are eminently reprintable.
Crovax the Cursed 73
Price
{Just enough of a sample size to establish a pattern}
4-mana 4/4s in
4-mana 4/4s in
Crovax' first iteration is an interesting twist on Sengir Vampire, but isn't anything special to write home about beyond that. Ho-hum legendary rares are eminently reprintable.
{CLASS! WHAT IS RULE #1?!}
Dream Halls150
Price
Just in case you forgot--Rule #1: NEVER SUBVERT THE MANA SYSTEM!
Similar to how Gingerbrute was the line for Throne of Eldraine, I see Chromatic Lantern as the line for what constitutes a subversion of The Mana System; I'm not entirely sure on which side it resides, only that it very definitely is that divide. I would also argue that cards like Llanowar Elves, Rampant Growth, et. al., are very near the line, but thankfully do not cross into full subversion territory.1 Dream Halls is as blatant a subversion as you can get without blackmailing the entirety of R&D and the Rules Committee to rule in favor of the legality of your hastily-scribbled Post-It note:
Dream Halls
Price
Just in case you forgot--Rule #1: NEVER SUBVERT THE MANA SYSTEM!
Similar to how Gingerbrute was the line for Throne of Eldraine, I see Chromatic Lantern as the line for what constitutes a subversion of The Mana System; I'm not entirely sure on which side it resides, only that it very definitely is that divide. I would also argue that cards like Llanowar Elves, Rampant Growth, et. al., are very near the line, but thankfully do not cross into full subversion territory.1 Dream Halls is as blatant a subversion as you can get without blackmailing the entirety of R&D and the Rules Committee to rule in favor of the legality of your hastily-scribbled Post-It note:
- Screw the Rules!
Instant 
Unique (Only one copy of this card can ever exist. See 1996 World Champion and Shichifukujin Dragon.)
Split second
CARDNAME can't be countered.
CARDNAME can be cast from anywhere, at any time. (Including your trade binder and your pockets.)
All players with your exact DNA profile win the game.
{Oh look! Another blatant subversion!}
Mox Diamond151
Price
There's only ONE Moxen that didn't completely subvert The Mana System, and even that one kinda broke Standard for a bit.2 The original 5 Moxen I gave a break by allowing them to stay Listed, because it was the very beginning, and neither the players nor the makers of Magic fully knew what they were doing.
But this is Stronghold. They should've known better by this point.
Mox Diamond
Price
There's only ONE Moxen that didn't completely subvert The Mana System, and even that one kinda broke Standard for a bit.2 The original 5 Moxen I gave a break by allowing them to stay Listed, because it was the very beginning, and neither the players nor the makers of Magic fully knew what they were doing.
But this is Stronghold. They should've known better by this point.
{Spellskite's older brother.}
Silver Wyvern 231
Price
I can't stop picturing a couple of Silver Wyvern3s tossing a spell back and forth like a baseball, then along comes little brother Spellskite to steal the ball because they wouldn't let him play as well.
Silver Wyvern 231
Price
I can't stop picturing a couple of Silver Wyvern3s tossing a spell back and forth like a baseball, then along comes little brother Spellskite to steal the ball because they wouldn't let him play as well.
{THE BIG ONE!}
Her Royal Highness, Long May She Reign! 232, upgraded from to 
to match Tempest Remastered, reprinted in Hive, and given the typeline "Legendary Creature – Sliver Queen" & fullart.
Price
Am I insane? Yes. Is this just the vanity ruling of some pipedream pet project? Ok, fine, guilty as charged. Have I even seen the carnage, chaos, and devastation that HRH,LMSR! can and does cause in a real game? Yeah, ok, I get your point, it's a very OP card, but it's in the file for now, I might as well test it. Besides, if they're willing to reprint Dream Halls, why shouldn't I be allowed my Qweeeeeeen!?
Her Royal Highness, Long May She Reign! 232, upgraded from
to to match Tempest Remastered, reprinted in Hive, and given the typeline "Legendary Creature – Sliver Queen" & fullart.Price
{Her Progeny, the Royal Offsprings}
WUBRG to all!
WUBRG to all!
Am I insane? Yes. Is this just the vanity ruling of some pipedream pet project? Ok, fine, guilty as charged. Have I even seen the carnage, chaos, and devastation that HRH,LMSR! can and does cause in a real game? Yeah, ok, I get your point, it's a very OP card, but it's in the file for now, I might as well test it. Besides, if they're willing to reprint Dream Halls, why shouldn't I be allowed my Qweeeeeeen!?
{Who's up for some Body Horror?}
Volrath's Shapeshifter 74
Price
Since Volrath's Shapeshifter references a specific (and deceased) character, it's hard to justify a Standard reprint without Story bending over backwards just to incorporate it into the setting (which, let's face it, could only ever be Dominaria). Fortunately, supplemental sets aren't usually bound by story constraints (I see you, Battlebond & Conspiracy).
Volrath's Shapeshifter 74
Price
Since Volrath's Shapeshifter references a specific (and deceased) character, it's hard to justify a Standard reprint without Story bending over backwards just to incorporate it into the setting (which, let's face it, could only ever be Dominaria). Fortunately, supplemental sets aren't usually bound by story constraints (I see you, Battlebond & Conspiracy).
{Two lands are all that's needed to protect your shit from targeted removal.}
Volrath's Stronghold 75, though it's not out of the realm of possibility for 233. See below.
Price
Phyrexian Tower is the other card needed for the combo. I've seen it in action, and it's terrifyingly, frustratingly good.
As to Volrath's Stronghold's reprintability, yes, it references a specific dead character, butdeath is cheap, and canon is far too mutable lands and locations have a bit more leeway in this regard. Plus, Cabal Stronghold proves that the location is still in existence on Dominaria, it's just under new management. New, incompetent, malignantly narcissistic management. *Stares directly into camera for fifteen uncomfortable seconds*
So, yeah, I think it actually could be reprinted safely in Standard, so long as its rarity is increased from to , to match Tempest Remastered. 233
Volrath's Stronghold 75, though it's not out of the realm of possibility for 233. See below.
Price
Phyrexian Tower is the other card needed for the combo. I've seen it in action, and it's terrifyingly, frustratingly good.
As to Volrath's Stronghold's reprintability, yes, it references a specific dead character, but
So, yeah, I think it actually could be reprinted safely in Standard, so long as its rarity is increased from
to , to match Tempest Remastered. 233Exodus
{No. Just no.}
City of Traitors 63
Price
You'd think the restriction of "You can't play lands"5 would be enough of a safety valve, right? Normally, yes, kinda. But City of Traitors was released into a Standard environment that said "Y'know that whole Mana System thing, with one land per turn, and a slow but steady increase in power from the beginning of the game to the end, a good number of turns later? Yeah, fuck all that, we're just gonna give you 27 billion metric fucktons of cheap, easy-to-cast artifacts that tap for way too much mana. Lands? Who tf needs lands?"
The common joke at the time was
Combo Winter suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked.
City of Traitors 63
Price
You'd think the restriction of "You can't play lands"5 would be enough of a safety valve, right? Normally, yes, kinda. But City of Traitors was released into a Standard environment that said "Y'know that whole Mana System thing, with one land per turn, and a slow but steady increase in power from the beginning of the game to the end, a good number of turns later? Yeah, fuck all that, we're just gonna give you 27 billion metric fucktons of cheap, easy-to-cast artifacts that tap for way too much mana. Lands? Who tf needs lands?"
The common joke at the time was
- Early game: Coinflip
Midgame: Shuffling up
Lategame: Turn one
Combo Winter suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked.
{I remember catching the very end of this movie on broadcast tv decades ago.}
Dominating Licid 64
Price
The entire Licid design is messy, complicated, and full of unforeseen and unintended gameplay interactions that all combine into a package that's completely unfun to play against, with or without combat damage being stackable. Yes, they did lead directly to bestow, for which I'm eternally grateful, but we don't need the Licids anymore, if ever at all.
If you want to know just how horrible they are to play against, just imagine you're attacking with 8 creatures into a board of 4 Dominating Licids. Assume the defending player has unlimited mana. Defending player blocks 4 of your guys with their Licids, then activates them to take control of your unblocked guys. You can either try to use an enchantment removal spell to get rid of the Licid, in which case, it just stops being an enchantment, fizzling your removal; or you can waste two spells on each Licid (good luck with that); or you can just kill your own guys (Licid stops being an enchantment, so it sticks around – sucks to be you)!
Dominating Licid 64
Price
The entire Licid design is messy, complicated, and full of unforeseen and unintended gameplay interactions that all combine into a package that's completely unfun to play against, with or without combat damage being stackable. Yes, they did lead directly to bestow, for which I'm eternally grateful, but we don't need the Licids anymore, if ever at all.
If you want to know just how horrible they are to play against, just imagine you're attacking with 8 creatures into a board of 4 Dominating Licids. Assume the defending player has unlimited mana. Defending player blocks 4 of your guys with their Licids, then activates them to take control of your unblocked guys. You can either try to use an enchantment removal spell to get rid of the Licid, in which case, it just stops being an enchantment, fizzling your removal; or you can waste two spells on each Licid (good luck with that); or you can just kill your own guys (Licid stops being an enchantment, so it sticks around – sucks to be you)!
{Plz god no.}
eric trump 65
Price
Yeah, no. Control does just fine on its own without a free, virtually uncounterable counterspell every turn, thankyouverymuch! NEXT!
eric trump 65
Price
{Equivalencies}
Erayo, Soratami Ascendant
Price
No-Stick
Price-Price
Decree of Silence
Price
the "glasskites"
Erayo, Soratami Ascendant
Price
No-Stick
Price-Price
Decree of Silence
Price
the "glasskites"
Yeah, no. Control does just fine on its own without a free, virtually uncounterable counterspell every turn, thankyouverymuch! NEXT!
{Seriously? Why is this even here?}
Exalted Dragon 234, downgraded from to .
Price
Why is Exalted Dragon even on here? What the hell is WotC so afraid of? Is it mono-
Dragons? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Exalted Dragon 234, downgraded from
to .Price
{It's amazing what passed for finishers back then.}
Power>4, cmc>2 (pay special attention to Bog Elemental and Ruinous Minotaur)
finishers back then.}Power>4, cmc>2 (pay special attention to Bog Elemental and Ruinous Minotaur)
Why is Exalted Dragon even on here? What the hell is WotC so afraid of? Is it mono-
Dragons? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯{What's the Phyrexian for "Nope!"?}
Hatred 66
Price
Infect says "Gimme!", but healthier attitudes prevailed, thank Serra. We've already seen a similar Infect combo in Blazing Shoal/Progenitus causing an emergency ban (at least, I seem to remember it as an emergency ban, no matter what prevarications WotC made to the contrary), we don't need a single card that does it all, all over again.
Hatred 66
Price
Infect says "Gimme!", but healthier attitudes prevailed, thank Serra. We've already seen a similar Infect combo in Blazing Shoal/Progenitus causing an emergency ban (at least, I seem to remember it as an emergency ban, no matter what prevarications WotC made to the contrary), we don't need a single card that does it all, all over again.
{No, no, no, no, no!}
Mind Over Matter 67 (You're lucky I don't say152!)
Price
This is a design that's impossible to balance without DRASTIC measures, like removing words ("Tap" or "untap", &/or "land") &/or adding one or both of the phrases "Activate this ability only once per turn." and "Activate this ability only as a sorcery." To give you an idea of just how stupid Standard was at the time, just do a google search for "Combo Winter".
And now we have strategies like loading up a land with extra mana-generating Auras, paired with Nykthos, Shrine to Nyx, for all your 0.01%-levels of mana wealth needs. ◔_◔
Mind Over Matter 67 (You're lucky I don't say
Price
This is a design that's impossible to balance without DRASTIC measures, like removing words ("Tap" or "untap", &/or "land") &/or adding one or both of the phrases "Activate this ability only once per turn." and "Activate this ability only as a sorcery." To give you an idea of just how stupid Standard was at the time, just do a google search for "Combo Winter".
And now we have strategies like loading up a land with extra mana-generating Auras, paired with Nykthos, Shrine to Nyx, for all your 0.01%-levels of mana wealth needs. ◔_◔
{I can feel myself losing SAN as I read and think about this entire cycle. It's a decidedly unpleasant feeling, like chilling, sticky tendrils of pain sliding away with my most treasured memories.}
Oath of Ghouls No, fuck that. I'm doing the entire cycle, because everything about it is just plain WRONG!
Oath of Druids7
Oath of Ghouls152
Oath of Lieges8
Oath of Mages9
Oath of Scholars10
Prices
So, Oath of Ghouls is the only one of the cycle to make it to The Reserved List, but Oath of Druids is the only one that's actually powerful. Way to go, Wizards.
"Oh, we're so worried about repeatable, restricted Raise Dead! Better put it on The Reserved List before it wrecks anything!" CLASS! WHAT IS RULE #1?!
The entire cycle is needlessly complicated as well. I'm pretty sure making it target is what's adding those unnecessary layers of complexity. "At the beginning of each player's upkeep, if that player has fewer <blank> than an opponent, that player may <do blank>." See? isn't that so much nicer?
Oath of Druids
Oath of Ghouls
Oath of Lieges
Oath of Mages
Oath of Scholars
Prices
So, Oath of Ghouls is the only one of the cycle to make it to The Reserved List, but Oath of Druids is the only one that's actually powerful. Way to go, Wizards.
"Oh, we're so worried about repeatable, restricted Raise Dead! Better put it on The Reserved List before it wrecks anything!" CLASS! WHAT IS RULE #1?!
The entire cycle is needlessly complicated as well. I'm pretty sure making it target is what's adding those unnecessary layers of complexity. "At the beginning of each player's upkeep, if that player has fewer <blank> than an opponent, that player may <do blank>." See? isn't that so much nicer?
{When Mangara does it, it's awesome, and a hallmark of good, innovative design. When this card did it, it was, in addition to being Exactly What It Says on the Tin, one of the worst mistakes in the entire game's history, past, present, and future!}
Recurring Nightmare157
Price
I'm speaking, of course, about the nonstandard colon placement. Effects and abilities can be responded to, costs can't. And no nonactive player can do anything until they receive priority, so there's no way in heaven, hell, high water, or horseshit you're EVER gonna be rid of an opposing Recurring Nightmare, because the returning it to its owner's hand is part of the cost, not the effect.
Recurring Nightmare
Price
I'm speaking, of course, about the nonstandard colon placement. Effects and abilities can be responded to, costs can't. And no nonactive player can do anything until they receive priority, so there's no way in heaven, hell, high water, or horseshit you're EVER gonna be rid of an opposing Recurring Nightmare, because the returning it to its owner's hand is part of the cost, not the effect.
{So...near...the end!}
Survival of the Fittest 68
Price
In July of 2010, Wizards, in their depths of their ignorance, released a little ol’ card that was but a fraction of the power of Survival of the Fittest. Unless I’m remembering incorrectly, it nearly broke Standard AND Modern, and possibly some other formats as well, joining such luminaries of the game as Lion’s Eye Diamond, Yawgmoth’s Bargain, and Tinker – all cards that attempted to power down an ultra-OP card, and STILL manage to break something! It’s like the recurring question on Because Science of what would happen if you literally got your hands on a tiny fraction of the sun.6
Survival of the Fittest 68
Price
In July of 2010, Wizards, in their depths of their ignorance, released a little ol’ card that was but a fraction of the power of Survival of the Fittest. Unless I’m remembering incorrectly, it nearly broke Standard AND Modern, and possibly some other formats as well, joining such luminaries of the game as Lion’s Eye Diamond, Yawgmoth’s Bargain, and Tinker – all cards that attempted to power down an ultra-OP card, and STILL manage to break something! It’s like the recurring question on Because Science of what would happen if you literally got your hands on a tiny fraction of the sun.6
Phew! An extra-long episode for you, on my return to this thing I’m only just now starting to remember why I hate it so much. List and tally:
- 68 cards stay on The Reserved List.
- 234 cards get reprinted in Standard (with, in this episode, Sarcomancy & Exalted Dragon downgraded from to ; and Sliver Queen & Volrath’s Stronghold upgraded from to ).
- 74 cards get reprinted in supplemental sets.
153 cards that should’ve been prevented from ever having despoiled the timestream.- Dark Ritual has been added to The New Revised Reserved List.
10 cards have been retroactively added to the list of cards that should’ve been prevented from ever having despoiled the timestream (withthe rest of the Exodus Oath cycleadded in this episode).
BSQ: 472/540, or 87.{bar}407%. Inching ever closer to 90...
I’m just easing myself back into the column habit, so there may or may not be another episode of No Reservations II next week. I’ll hafta see what my schedule’s like, and how I feel by the time Saturday rolls around. In any case, I’ll see you all soon.
{Footnotes}
| 1 | Although, I'm pretty sure the Nettle Sentinel/Heritage Druid/Birchlore Rangers combo IS a full-on subversion. |
| 0 | |
| 2 | Although the blame for that mostly falls square onto Kethis' shoulders. |
| 0 | |
| 3 | "Why Vern! Whatever do you mean?" |
| 0 | |
| 4 | I wish they'd finish out the cycle. for enchantments,  for instants &/or sorceries, and  for lands, or something like that. |
| 0 | |
| 5 | I'm pretty sure that's what the original design's restriction was. |
| 0 | |
| 6 | Short answer: lots of REALLY bad things, all happening nearly instantaneously. So don’t do it. |
