<BB> shiftyhomunculus' Battle Board (Obris Rook)

@ amechra: I'm going to leave my rating as-is, because any extra credit you'd have gained by including the rarity would be counteracted by the fact that I don't think uncommon is a good spot for it - it'd still be an 8/10, I feel.

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@ Yoshi

Obris never needs an opportunity to talk about himself some more, but he'll still pounce on the opportunity.

"I am Obris Rook, Heir to the House of Rook, sometime ruler of a hundred kingdoms, son of His Eternity Veldan Rook IV, rightful Emperor of Elnoch, may his soul be exalted. The throne of Elnoch on the plane of Arrale belongs to me, and soon I shall reclaim it from the wicked Consensus and their treasonous regime. I respect no laws but those of my mother nation, no authority but my late father's, and I do not..."

This continues for some time.

Fate Tablet
Artifact (was initially missing rarity and card type because I can't proofread for shit, edited for post-hoc reading)
Players can't scry.
"It shall be as it shall be, and never else."
- Inscription on back of tablet

(Granted, this won't stop you from cycling the Journal, but it does make it nothing more than a four-mana cantrip.)

On Alabaster Journal: Pretty interesting cycle piece. This would get way too time-consuming to resolve if the scry number was any higher, but scry 1 is perfect for it. 9/10.

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@ fluffyDeathbringer

Obris raises a quizzical eyebrow at the lost pangolin. "What manner of creature is this?" he mutters to himself - he vaguely recalls seeing an animal a little like this in his father's menagerie, but it certainly didn't speak!

As they draw close, he clears his throat a couple of times, waiting for some kind of gap in the speech, until, at last, Wiejis seems to have finished. Not his usual style of address, but this visitor has caught him off guard. "I am Obris Rook, Heir to the House of Rook. You're in the Arena. Some sort of meeting place for all manner of strange folk. And I'm afraid that if there's any kind of pattern behind the goings-on here, I've yet to find it."

Bluster Doctrine
Sorcery (formerly an artifact due to creator oversight)
Each creature you control that's been the target of a spell or ability this turn can't be blocked this turn.
"The more you do, the less they notice it. Do everything, and nothing is notable."
- Jader, Rook commando

(A synergistic gift response.)

On Impetuous Inquisition: While I really like this effect, it's such a huge downgrade from Warriors' Lesson (granted, this is the kind of effect you wouldn't expect to be that cheap!) that I don't think I can give it more than a 6/10.

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@ Cajun

Rooks are not known for their even tempers. Obris has learned to moderate his, to an extent, but there are a few things which cut through that veneer of calm.

Any mention of his line's persistent male-pattern baldness, for example.

Liberating Cry
Sorcery
Destroy any number of permanents attached to you and up to one target permanent you control. Remove any number of counters from you and that permanent.
Asren felt much better once his throat had recovered from the yelling. He felt much looser, more relaxed, and, strangely enough, his left arm seemed to have grown back.

On Blind Ambition: Probably wants to be more expensive, as compared to Spelltithe Enforcer. I'd consider this effect a bend for black, since "sacrifice a permanent" effects are usually red, but there have been enough Torment effects and the like that I'll give it a 7/10.

CARD: Missing rarity and type, so gonna have to dock for that. Seems like an interesting but straightforward hose tool. 6/10.

Lumen sits and listens meekly - sometimes less is more.

"You seem like a man adrift, waiting and biding rather than acting. Maybe this will help you set your course."

Compass to Glory
Artifact
Whenever one or more creatures you control become tapped, reveal the top card of your library. If a land card is revealed this way, you gain 1 life. Then put that card back on top of your library or into your graveyard.
The stronger one's ambition, the more steady the needle.

"You want to rule, but I've seen you give no answers to what you'd do upon the throne. I may not have led long, but the lives under my command are more important than my own. Can you say the same for your would-be subjects?"

Tactical Map
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature has "Your opponents play with the top cards of their libraries revealed" and ": Scry 1."
Equip

@ fluffyDeathbringer

"You will not instruct me!" snarls Obris with a dismissive flick of the wrist. "A Rook needs no tutelage!"

Crypt Staff
Artifact
: You choose a card in target opponent's graveyard, then that player chooses a card in your graveyard. Exile those cards.
It makes sure the dead rest in one piece.

On Thaumic Reiteration: Costing is tricky, but I think having it at sorcery speed makes the current cost reasonable. Clean and potent. 8/10.

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@ herziquerzi

Obris sneers at the trinket. "I have my direction. How dare you presume that I would take yours! Still, this'll fetch a pretty price..."

Extortionate Deal
Sorcery
As an additional cost to cast Extortionate Deal, sacrifice an artifact.
Draw three cards.
In the technophobic realm of Khanzan, even the simplest devices command a healthy premium.

On Compass to Glory: This is questionable at common and doesn't work as well as it seems like it should with multiple tap outlets (since you're likely to hit a card you want to keep on top and render further activations mostly superfluous), but clean enough that I think it deserves a 7/10.

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@ Casstastrophe

"You want to know what I'll do when I return? Look at Elnoch now! Plague, starvation, revolt, and a government too bound up in its own squabbles to help! The Consensus is a shadow of the old Empire, and it needs a strong hand to set it right. The hand of a Rook."

Perplexing Talisman
Artifact
You draw cards from the bottom of your library.
: Add .
"And all we seek is this: a world turned upside down."
- Aleyano Drent, The People's Lantern, canto XII

On Tactical Map: A fascinating unconventional Equipment. Comparing Witches' Eye, part of me thinks it should have a cost attached to the scry, but I don't recall Witches' Eye ever being all that powerful and the first ability isn't strictly upside (since your opponent also knows their draws in advance), so this is a solid 9/10!

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@ aquaumisa

Obris holds the gemstone up to the light, appraising it. "A competent cut, no flaws to speak of... ah, and bound with mana. This will be an excellent addition to my collection." He pockets it. "What was your name again? I need it for my ledger."

Bountiful Levy
Sorcery
If an effect would create one or more tokens under your control this turn, it creates twice as many of those tokens instead.
Obris called, and the provinces responded with vigor.

On Emerald Soulstone: I like mana rocks that still have utility when they've outlived their ramp usefulness, and this is a very good example. The activated ability could be a little cheaper given that you've already sunk three mana into casting the rock, but this is definitely an 8/10.

"One man can't save the world alone, nor can he rule it alone. I hope you know what you're getting yourself into - heavy is the head that wears the crown."

Perplexing Talisman: This is a neat way to get around the Map, and opens up a world of interesting with your own scry effects. Ever since Grenzo, Dungeon Warden I've wanted to see more effects like this, and Talisman is probably the cleanest way to do it. 10/10.

The intention with Censorship is that you can only censor a card if there are two copies already in their graveyard.

"Name's Bishop. If yer intersted in doin' something similar in the future, I'm up for it."

Bountiful Levy: 9/10. Honestly, I don't see why Wizards have done something like this yet.

"Rook," Lumen begins. "I've been doing some research into the various laws that populate the multiverse. If you wouldn't mind, could you tell me a bit more about the laws of Arrale?"

Caravan of Cures
Artifact - Vehicle
When CARDNAME enters the battlefield, you gain 4 life.
Crew 2
In the deserts of Kassova, consider yourself fortunate to be found.
2/3

Simple life gain that also gives you a way to chump block a bit better.

@ Cajun

"Mark my words, I have my plans. The time is near, and, when it comes, you will understand why I have waited so long."

Khanzan Wisdom
Sorcery
Destroy target artifact or enchantment. Scry 2.
"In time, you'll know you never needed this."
- Ier, Khanzan hierarch

On Curse of Hesitation: It's like a tapper you can't toss a kill spell at! I can picture this getting really annoying, and that's a good sign for a Curse. 9/10.

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@ Yoshi

Obris can't help but puff out his chest a little at the chance to be patriotic. "The law of great Elnoch is built upon the Salnen Code, that first set of axioms laid down by Monis I centuries ago. It is amended by imperial decree with the consent of the Council of Many, speaking for the interests of the Emperor's loyal subjects, and the Council of Few, speaking for the nobility. In times of great need, the Councils are dissolved, but only when we are sure that absolute control is in the public interest." Of course, every Emperor since Veldan II has ruled in a permanent "time of great need", but Obris opts to omit that detail.

"That's the law as it should be. Alas, not as it is under the damnable Consensus."

Writ of Amendment
Sorcery
Each player returns a nonland permanent they control to its owner's hand.
"The Salnen Code is what we make of it."
- Nera Vallenstein, minister of public order

(A friendly-ish approach, thus a friendly-ish response.)

On Caravan of Cures: A Vehicle with power equal to its crew cost feels kind of strange, since almost all Vehicles give you a boost in that regard, but this is a fun way of making lifegain relevant in a Lone Missionary kind of way. 7.5/10.

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@ korakhos

"What a welcome!" retorts Rook, pulling a mirrored talisman from his belt. "If you can't see what makes me worth your attention, you need to get your eyes checked!"

Disk of Warding
Artifact
As Disk of Warding enters the battlefield, choose a card type.
As long as Disk of Warding is untapped, you have hexproof from the chosen type.
: Target permanent you control gains hexproof from the chosen type until end of turn.

On Impaling Sands: Removal on lands always makes me wary, but this is close enough to Ifnir Deadlands that it looks safe enough. A perfectly solid utility land. 8/10.

"Trust me, my eyes are fine, and all they're showing me is a man who hides behind a talisman instead of facing a problem head-on..." she counters with evident sadistic delight in both her tone and smile.

Disk of Warding: really cool idea, but it makes me hate you for actually liking a card with "hexproof from" XD. Comparing it to Witchbane Orb it's making me think it could cost since it does less in protecting you, but at the same time it does give you the ability to protect your stuff (I love the detail of giving up your own safety to do so, btw). 9/10.

"That's quite enough from you, hat. I'm not going to just stand by while you goad a grown man into hitting a little girl."

Chaos Snap
Instant
Shuffle target creature into its owner's library. Then that player reveals cards from the top of their library until they reveal a creature, then puts that creature into play and the rest of the cards onto the bottom of their library in any order. Chaos Snap deals damage to that creature's controller equal to number of cards revealed this way.

Obris began a spell, but before it was done the empath's spell had already torn through the illusion and now followed through to knock Okus and the host off her feet. Even Obris seemed caught off guard. The child growled as Okus brought them back up. "Well done, Rook. You, or at least your trinket there, can see through a spell. Maybe there's something worth knowing in your head after all."

Veilguard Seal: While this would have been overly narrow not too long ago, this hate rock is pretty effective at impounding vehicles, tho maybe a touch too effective. 7/10

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Lady Mapi

"And you again." Okus was growing too frustrated to feign subtly around Kirino. "You know, we're really not as terrible as you make us out to be."
"I was never in danger, except from you. My fancy hat has always kept me safe, and now you're trying to take it! Just leave me alone before you really hurt me."

Attacker rates the assist cards, but shifty said exactly what I was going to so go ahead and keep that one (if you're doing anything off of this be sure to take it to my thread tho)

cajun and shiftyhomunculus
"You've been talking to the hat, Obris. The hat is currently working that little girl like a puppet - it's disgusting, but I can't see a way to get rid of it without hurting her at the moment. And as for you..." She turns to Okus. "I would suggest antagonizing someone else. The Rooks aren't known for emotional restraint, and I'd hate to see Karina get seriously hurt."

She turns to walk off, and then pauses.

"And by the way, Obris? Baldness looks good on you, so I'm not sure why you're so upset."