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Post by sdfkjgh on Nov 4, 2021 17:25:01 GMT
I think you actually meant me, as that's my entry. I don't envision Eterna as actually being a horse or pegasus, they simply look like one, but they're actually a life elemental. Yeah, oops, my bad. These nested quote can sometimes get so confusing. |
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elRekko
0/0 Germ
Posts: 12
Favorite Set: Guilds of Ravnica
Color Alignment: Blue, Red
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Post by elRekko on Nov 4, 2021 19:22:07 GMT
First of all, let me introduce myself.This is my first ever CotW entry. I just discovered this beautiful software a week ago. ( Sorry for my bad English I'm not an English native speaker) {Creation process}The first plan was to create an Enchantment - Saga card, involving Goblins creature tokens and Self-sacrifice. Early version of the card was so complex that I couldn't fit the text into the boxes. Then I decided to simplify the concept and this is the result. I also like to include drawback in my cards.
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Fermat
8/8 Octopus
Posts: 430
Favorite Card: Force of Will
Favorite Set: Guildpact (set when I started playing)
Color Alignment: White, Blue, Black
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Post by Fermat on Nov 5, 2021 2:38:00 GMT
Amplifier of Despair   Creature — Eldrazi Processor  Devoid (This card has no color.)When ~ enters the battlefield, you may put two cards an opponent owns from exile into that player's graveyard. If you do, the controller of target permanent sacrifices it. Menace 3/2
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Post by t2stonerain on Nov 5, 2021 4:42:45 GMT
 Tried putting more emphasis and creativity on the source of the stuff to sacrifice than the actual sacrificing part. |
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Post by sdfkjgh on Nov 5, 2021 17:22:55 GMT
First of all, let me introduce myself.This is my first ever CotW entry. I just discovered this beautiful software a week ago. ( Sorry for my bad English I'm not an English native speaker) {Creation process}
The first plan was to create an Enchantment - Saga card, involving Goblins creature tokens and Self-sacrifice. Early version of the card was so complex that I couldn't fit the text into the boxes. Then I decided to simplify the concept and this is the result. I also like to include drawback in my cards. 
Welcome! The core of your idea is pretty interesting, there's just a few templating errors. Allow me:
Goblin creatures you control have "When this creature dies, create a Treasure token." {This next part has an interesting choice for you to make, vis-à-vis nontoken Treasures} Treasure{ token}s you control have " ,  , Sacrifice this artifact: It deals 2 damage to any target." At the beginning of your end step, sacrifice Explosive Hostage Exchange unless you control a Goblin creature.
Other than that, it's a fine inaugural entry. If you ever need help with templating or finessing a design idea, just ask anyone. I'm usually pretty good at minor templating issues like this, and the5lacker is excellent at in-depth critique of the merits of an idea.
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Pixi-Rex
1/1 Squirrel
Why am I a 0/0 Germ
Posts: 62
Color Alignment: White, Green
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Post by Pixi-Rex on Nov 5, 2021 17:27:20 GMT
elRekko Welcom eelrekko, its nice to see new users are coming to the site. I like your design. The card works, but instead of the card give goblings an trigger ability. It could just have it itself. Like this "Whenever a Goblin you control dies, create a Treasure token." Also you are missing a "," and a "space" between in the activation cost on the second ability. But is a nice design.  Edit: haha you beat me by a few minutes sdfkjgh. 
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Post by sdfkjgh on Nov 5, 2021 18:24:26 GMT
elRekko Welcom eelrekko, its nice to see new users are coming to the site. I like your design. The card works, but instead of the card give goblings an trigger ability. It could just have it itself. Like this "Whenever a Goblin you control dies, create a Treasure token." Also you are missing a "," and a "space" between in the activation cost on the second ability. But is a nice design. Edit: haha you beat me by a few minutes sdfkjgh. Just call me Higure, 'cause you been fukkin NINJA'D! |
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Post by sdfkjgh on Nov 5, 2021 18:30:28 GMT
elRekko Welcom eelrekko, its nice to see new users are coming to the site. I like your design. The card works, but instead of the card give goblings an trigger ability. It could just have it itself. Like this "Whenever a Goblin you control dies, create a Treasure token." Also you are missing a "," and a "space" between in the activation cost on the second ability. But is a nice design. Edit: haha you beat me by a few minutes sdfkjgh. Just call me Higure, 'cause you been fukkin NINJA'D!The previous post is a little childish and stupid, but then, so am I. |
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elRekko
0/0 Germ
Posts: 12
Favorite Set: Guilds of Ravnica
Color Alignment: Blue, Red
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Post by elRekko on Nov 5, 2021 18:55:46 GMT
Hi there, Many many thanks to sdfkjgh and @pixi-Rex for the templating help! I just updated the erratas. Thanks you! |
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Post by The Harlequin on Nov 6, 2021 11:49:42 GMT
I would cut the 2nd part and reword the choose one effect: "At the beginning of the enchanted permanents players upkeep, that player chooses one:" another way would be to just make it a curse and alter the self-sacrifice part |
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Post by viriss on Nov 6, 2021 14:31:21 GMT
I would cut the 2nd part and reword the choose one effect: "At the beginning of the enchanted permanents players upkeep, that player chooses one:" another way would be to just make it a curse and alter the self-sacrifice part I thought about it (added wording example), but I don't like the way it reads and thought Captive Audience had a better template. I don't see how it works as a curse since those only enchant players. How would I also target a specific permanent without a memory issue? |
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Post by The Harlequin on Nov 6, 2021 17:28:45 GMT
I would cut the 2nd part and reword the choose one effect: "At the beginning of the enchanted permanents players upkeep, that player chooses one:" another way would be to just make it a curse and alter the self-sacrifice part I thought about it (added wording example), but I don't like the way it reads and thought Captive Audience had a better template. I don't see how it works as a curse since those only enchant players. How would I also target a specific permanent without a memory issue? Well, the contract works as it is -- I only have a flavor issue with it: Why would the contract change the owner? It's still you who is pulling the opponent over the barrel -- So switching ownership seams kinda wrong to me. As an general contract, it makes more sense to me if ya put it just on the player (as the curses -- cause toggle contracts can also be considderes a curse) >>>>>>> Enchant player At the beginning of the enchanted players upkeep, that player chooses one: - Pay 4 life: Draw a card. - Mill 6 cards: Draw a card. - Pay 4 life, mill 6 cards: Destroy CARDNAME. >>>>>>> At least for me it's more reasonable this way 2 "benefits" that may or may not kill the contract signer and a way to buy ya free. It may also be a consideration to make the contract indestructable and let the last ability exile it instead. Cause ya victim shouldn't be able to "disenchant" his neck out of it :-) |
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MonkeyChewToy
1/1 Squirrel
Back in the Saddle
Posts: 52
Favorite Card: Darksteel Relic
Favorite Set: Battlebond
Color Alignment: Blue, Green
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Post by MonkeyChewToy on Nov 6, 2021 17:35:44 GMT
I would cut the 2nd part and reword the choose one effect: "At the beginning of the enchanted permanents players upkeep, that player chooses one:" another way would be to just make it a curse and alter the self-sacrifice part I thought about it (added wording example), but I don't like the way it reads and thought Captive Audience had a better template. I don't see how it works as a curse since those only enchant players. How would I also target a specific permanent without a memory issue? If you go the Curse route, perhaps when it enters, it puts a 'contract counter' (or blood counter, doom counter, page counter, whatever) on target permanent? Then it looks something like:
Enchantment — Aura Curse Enchant player When Foul contract enters the battlefield, put a contract counter on target permanent enchanted player controls. At the beginning of enchanted player's upkeep, that player chooses one — - That player loses 4 life and draws a card.
- That player mills six cards, then draws a card.
- That player loses 4 life, mills six cards, sacrifices each permanent they control with a contract counter on it, then destroys Foul Contract.
Actually, the counter route might be be better than being an aura at all. You could go with the Captive Audience style still:
Enchantment When Foul Contract enters the battlefield, an opponent gains control of it. Put a contract counter on Foul Contract and another permanent that player controls. At the beginning of your upkeep, choose one — - You lose 4 life and draw a card.
- You mill six cards, then draw a card.
- You lose 4 life, mill six cards, then sacrifice each permanent you control with a contract counter on it.
I guess that's more like the Akroan Horse template, but if we enter Captive Audience-style, we'd have to have another line saying "When ~ ETB, an opponent chooses a permanent you control. Put a contract counter on it" in order for you as the caster to control which permanent is getting hit. This way you choose the player and their permanent and there's nothing hexproof, shroud, or protection can do about it. In both options, I tried to preserve the original functionality of "you can escape the contract when the permanent dies" so that they don't just keep having to choose every upkeep forever.
Fun side effect of the counter: If they destroy the enchantment before they sacrifice the permanent, the counter will stay, so if you play another Contract later, you can pick a new permanent and they'll have to sacrifice both. |
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Post by Daij_Djan on Nov 6, 2021 20:47:03 GMT
It's been a while since I last did a Mirage design, so how about coming back with the most flashy one ever?
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the5lacker
3/3 Beast
Posts: 198
Favorite Card: The Reality Chip
Favorite Set: Kaladesh
Color Alignment: White, Blue
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Post by the5lacker on Nov 8, 2021 3:27:01 GMT
Good christ I have just... not had anything speak to me, like, all week. I blame the obnoxiously broad challenge, it's like trying to eat a burger that's too big, lol. Might as well just go with one of the recent iterations of my personal Boulder of Sisyphus: Remaking the entirety of Metroid Prime in Magic. I don't have a problem you have a problem.
 Puffer  Creature - Jellyfish (1/1)  Flying Volatile (Whenever this deals combat damage, sacrifice it at the end of combat.) When you sacrifice Puffer, up to one target creature gets -2/-2 until end of turn. That creature's controller loses 2 life.
Volatile is a funny little drawback mechanic to represent the sheer number of enemies whose primary method of attack is "explode at you." Didn't go with Decayed because A. the flavor's not quite right and B. the vast majority of them are actually fairly defensive, so I wanted blockers to be an option. Also, I have no idea what the proper way to credit a screencap is. Copyright Nintendo/Retro Studios maybe? |
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Rat
0/0 Germ
we're rats, we're rats, we're the rats
Posts: 34
Formerly Known As: KingpinRat
Color Alignment: Red, Green
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Post by Rat on Nov 8, 2021 11:24:17 GMT
I am very much a 'turn creatures sideways' kind of player, so I have no idea how to balance removal. Went back and forth between convoke, costing more, but eh? Is triple white pips a reasonable enough price to get around shroud/hexproof/indestructible for single target removal? also hi I've been gone a while  |
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Post by The Harlequin on Nov 8, 2021 13:36:12 GMT
@rat
Target opponent sacrifices a creature of your choice.
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Post by sdfkjgh on Nov 8, 2021 19:42:13 GMT
@rat Target opponent sacrifices a creature of your choice. With wording like that, you could almost giver it overload.
I say almost because it seems as though you'd want to spell out in some way the fact that only a creature's controller can sacrifice it, leading to this:
"For each opponent, choose a creature that opponent controls. Those players sacrifice the chosen creatures."
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Post by Daij_Djan on Nov 8, 2021 19:57:47 GMT
Also, I have no idea what the proper way to credit a screencap is. Copyright Nintendo/Retro Studios maybe?
Looking at our useful Art Sourcing Primer: Yes, that would have been the most optimal solution. Your version is fine as well, though.
This thread is now closed, the poll can be found here. And here's the next challenge! |
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