Post by sdfkjgh on Apr 11, 2019 18:43:18 GMT
Welcome back errbody.
Here’s the link to the complete Reserved List.
• 57 cards stay on The Reserved List.
• 174 cards get reprinted in Standard.
• 57 cards get reprinted in supplemental sets.
•130 cards that should’ve been prevented from ever having despoiled the timestream.
• Dark Ritual has been added to The New Revised Reserved List.
•Naked Singularity, Bronze Tablet, Jeweled Bird, Rebirth, Tempest Efreet, and Rishadan Port have been retroactively added to the list of cards that should’ve been prevented from ever having despoiled the timestream.
BSQ: 368/425, or 86.58823529411765%.
Here we go with Visions 1/4. There’s 40 cards total for this set, so each episode will be slightly shorter1 to accommodate.
And that’s it. I’m glad to be back, and simultaneously ruing that I have to start this shit up again. Hmm. Must check for any anomalous reasons for the unusually high number of SCP reference infiltrations.
Here’s the link to the complete Reserved List.
• 57 cards stay on The Reserved List.
• 181 cards get reprinted in Standard (with, in this episode, Aku Djinn downgraded from
to 
; and Bogardan Phoenix, Chronatog, & Diamond Kaleidoscope all downgraded from to 
).
• 58 cards get reprinted in supplemental sets.
•132 cards that should’ve been prevented from ever having despoiled the timestream.
• Dark Ritual has been added to The New Revised Reserved List.
•Naked Singularity, Bronze Tablet, Jeweled Bird, Rebirth, Tempest Efreet, and Rishadan Port have been retroactively added to the list of cards that should’ve been prevented from ever having despoiled the timestream.
BSQ: 378/435, or 86.89655172413793%.
Next three weeks we’ll be continuing on with Visions, then our usual 2-week end-of-set break, then on to Weatherlight.
Until next time, for Teferi & Ral Zarek, this is sdfkjgh, saying thanks, once again, to Daij_Djan for spotting those mistakes. It’s prolly completely outside of the realm of possibility that I won’t make any more, so hopefully from now on, it’ll be a lot easier and quicker to correct them.
Here’s the link to the complete Reserved List.
• 57 cards stay on The Reserved List.
• 174 cards get reprinted in Standard.
• 57 cards get reprinted in supplemental sets.
•
• Dark Ritual has been added to The New Revised Reserved List.
•
BSQ: 368/425, or 86.58823529411765%.
Here we go with Visions 1/4. There’s 40 cards total for this set, so each episode will be slightly shorter1 to accommodate.
{Show me all your Crash Bandicoot memes.}
Aku Djinn 175, downgraded from to , because of the provided example.
Price
I was all set to ding Aku Djinn all the way down to, but then I checked Sheltering Ancient’s rarity, so I set Aku’s to . But then I thought about how Ancient’s mana cost is so severely discounted, and the fact that if two opponents each get one in a draft, if they face each other, they could never attack into each other, as the opposing Djinn will always be pumped either larger than, or equal to, your own, by your own, by the time yours can attack. So, you’d have two titans, staring down each other, until someone blinks. So it should be fine.
Aku Djinn 175, downgraded from
to , because of the provided example.Price
{Exhibits A through every single alphabet on the planet, including a bit of Linear B.}
Sheltering Ancient
Price
Cmc<6, P=5
Sheltering Ancient
Price
Cmc<6, P=5
I was all set to ding Aku Djinn all the way down to
, but then I checked Sheltering Ancient’s rarity, so I set Aku’s to . But then I thought about how Ancient’s mana cost is so severely discounted, and the fact that if two opponents each get one in a draft, if they face each other, they could never attack into each other, as the opposing Djinn will always be pumped either larger than, or equal to, your own, by your own, by the time yours can attack. So, you’d have two titans, staring down each other, until someone blinks. So it should be fine.{Ignore the tacky tacked-on memes at the end.}
Anvil of Bogardan 176
Price
Why is Anvil of Bogardan not ok, but Monastery Siege, a card with both more utility, and less sharing, is just fine? Does this make sense to any of you? If you can argue, with a straight face, for keeping Anvil out of the hands of some crafty Schmidt, then I’d say you’re just as blind, obstinate, and wrong as the republicans at michael cohen’s testimony.
Anvil of Bogardan 176
Price
{Every color gets additional draws, but 
has more than 
. That seems weird.}
Pay close attention to Monastery2 Siege3
has more than . That seems weird.}Pay close attention to Monastery2 Siege3
Why is Anvil of Bogardan not ok, but Monastery Siege, a card with both more utility, and less sharing, is just fine? Does this make sense to any of you? If you can argue, with a straight face, for keeping Anvil out of the hands of some crafty Schmidt, then I’d say you’re just as blind, obstinate, and wrong as the republicans at michael cohen’s testimony.
{When not one, but TWO Standard-released keyword abilities can lay claim to being directly descended from a Listed card, you know that card’s Listed status is utter bullshit.}
Bogardan Phoenix 177, downgraded from to .
Price
Need I say more?
Bogardan Phoenix 177, downgraded from
to .Price
Need I say more?
{I think I’ve finally figured Telim’Tor out.}
Fuck you, Telim’Tor; the ONLY proper and noble place for any Soldier to die is in their bed, surrounded by their loved ones! 178
Price
I’m reminded of one of MaRo’s own decks, and how similar it is to Lantern Control. All of this is just a roundabout way of saying that Breathstealer’s Crypt is fine to reprint for Standard, even if it’s only an ok card at best.
Fuck you, Telim’Tor; the ONLY proper and noble place for any Soldier to die is in their bed, surrounded by their loved ones! 178
Price
{It’s literally an easier to cast, more powerful version of the exact same card.}
Zur’s Weirding
Price
Zur’s Weirding
Price
I’m reminded of one of MaRo’s own decks, and how similar it is to Lantern Control. All of this is just a roundabout way of saying that Breathstealer’s Crypt is fine to reprint for Standard, even if it’s only an ok card at best.
{Eating the future sounds like a really badass euphemism for procrastinating.}
Chronatog 179, downgraded from to to match its totem.
Price
Why is Chronatog not ok, but its totem is? Why, for that matter are Tarmogoyf and Werebear, two 2-mana cards with the potential to have 4 power on a permanent basis ok, but a card whose 4 power stats are only temporary, and that requires you to forgo an entire turn to do so, is not? Hell, I’d argue that Nimble Mongoose is a more powerful, more frightening card, and it recently got a downgrade to! Even Wild Mongrel and Noose Constrictor are more powerful, yet Chronatog is Listed.
Ok, there is the potential for über-Jenny shenannygoats, like Chronomantic Escape/Chronosavant (talk about a combo that’s miserable to play against4), but that’s about it. Is that pittance worth keeping a wrongfully accused card on Death Row?
Chronatog 179, downgraded from
to to match its totem.Price
{With shit like this, it’s getting harder and harder to take The Reserved List seriously.}
Chronatog Totem
Price
This guy’s usually a 4/5 on average, right?
Price
Werebear
Price
There’s also these guys, and I’m sure there’s more that I’m missing.
Chronatog Totem
Price
This guy’s usually a 4/5 on average, right?
Price
Werebear
Price
There’s also these guys, and I’m sure there’s more that I’m missing.
Why is Chronatog not ok, but its totem is? Why, for that matter are Tarmogoyf and Werebear, two 2-mana cards with the potential to have 4 power on a permanent basis ok, but a card whose 4 power stats are only temporary, and that requires you to forgo an entire turn to do so, is not? Hell, I’d argue that Nimble Mongoose is a more powerful, more frightening card, and it recently got a downgrade to
! Even Wild Mongrel and Noose Constrictor are more powerful, yet Chronatog is Listed.Ok, there is the potential for über-Jenny shenannygoats, like Chronomantic Escape/Chronosavant (talk about a combo that’s miserable to play against4), but that’s about it. Is that pittance worth keeping a wrongfully accused card on Death Row?
{Teferi says this card’s List status is bullshit.}
Teferi: Don’t put words into my mouth!
Ral: You mean any more than he usually does?
Teferi: SHUT UP, YOU!
Am I wrong?
Teferi:…No, not really.
So how should I rule, I ask, knowing the answer ahead of time, like any good lawyer?
Teferi: 180
Precisely.
So, this effect seems like it’s more of a
thing than a 
thing5, but still has need of some anti-
effects, which is why City of Solitude was printed in the first place.
Teferi: Don’t put words into my mouth!
Ral: You mean any more than he usually does?
Teferi: SHUT UP, YOU!
Am I wrong?
Teferi:…No, not really.
So how should I rule, I ask, knowing the answer ahead of time, like any good lawyer?
Teferi: 180
Precisely.
{And here’s why:}
Defense Grid
Price
Grand Abolisher
Price
Teferi: Please don’t reveal my price, it’s too embarrassing!
Too late.
I’m pretty sure there are others with similar abilities that I’m missing. The problem is, like deathtouch before it, there’s no standardized wording for all of these similar effects.
Defense Grid
Price
Grand Abolisher
Price
Teferi: Please don’t reveal my price, it’s too embarrassing!
Too late.
I’m pretty sure there are others with similar abilities that I’m missing. The problem is, like deathtouch before it, there’s no standardized wording for all of these similar effects.
So, this effect seems like it’s more of a
thing than a thing5, but still has need of some anti- effects, which is why City of Solitude was printed in the first place.{Special, limited-time offer: Buy one Demystify, get a can of Rust-Oleum6 absolutely free! Operators are standing by!7}
Corrosion 58
Price
See, this is the type of cumulative upkeep design I like to see! It’s interesting without being backbreaking, it solve a problem in a novel way, and even at its best, it’s still pretty niche. Nobody deserves to be locked up for being innocuous, so I’m releasing Corrosion. The cumulative upkeep that makes this so interesting also unfortunately precludes a Standard release, but that’s why we have supplemental sets.
Corrosion 58
Price
{So far, we’re 7/7 on reprinting Visions. This episode alone should be ample proof of The Reserved List’s bullshit!}
Creeping Corrosion
Price
Shatterstorm
Price
Shattering Spree
Price
Vandalblast
Price
Necroplasm
Price
Creeping Corrosion
Price
Shatterstorm
Price
Shattering Spree
Price
Vandalblast
Price
Necroplasm
Price
See, this is the type of cumulative upkeep design I like to see! It’s interesting without being backbreaking, it solve a problem in a novel way, and even at its best, it’s still pretty niche. Nobody deserves to be locked up for being innocuous, so I’m releasing Corrosion. The cumulative upkeep that makes this so interesting also unfortunately precludes a Standard release, but that’s why we have supplemental sets.
{PINNACLE ALERT! SOMEONE CALL THE IAEA8 IMMEDIATELY! WE’VE GOT A CONFIRMED NUCFLASH! I REPEAT, A CONFIRMED NUCFLASH!9}
Diamond Kaleidoscope 181, downgraded from to , to match the tapping examples.
Price
I was gonna make a Storm Crow-style joke about Diamond Kaleidoscope being even more powerful than Rishadan Port, going through an entire serial escalation of how it’s too powerful for my ranking system, so we need to create a new category for it, then it’d transcend categories altogether, becoming an SCP object akin to 055 in that it is completely undefinable, etc., etc., ad nauseam; but what would be the point? I’ve already done that joke to the death. As thegoodincompetent general has proven, and this is backed up by those inexplicably clamoring to become his cannon fodder, Diamond Kaleidoscope is eminently, immanently harmless.
Diamond Kaleidoscope 181, downgraded from
to , to match the tapping examples.Price
{Stuff ‘N’ Things}
Wall of Kelp
Price
Jungle Patrol
Price
Nuisance Engine10
Price
Awakening Zone
Price
From Beyond
Price
Wall of Kelp
Price
Jungle Patrol
Price
Nuisance Engine10
Price
Awakening Zone
Price
From Beyond
Price
I was gonna make a Storm Crow-style joke about Diamond Kaleidoscope being even more powerful than Rishadan Port, going through an entire serial escalation of how it’s too powerful for my ranking system, so we need to create a new category for it, then it’d transcend categories altogether, becoming an SCP object akin to 055 in that it is completely undefinable, etc., etc., ad nauseam; but what would be the point? I’ve already done that joke to the death. As the
{As a general rule, World Enchantments get Piled.}
Elkin Lair131
Price
I’m not even gonna provide counterexamples, as it’s late, I’m tired, and this episode was delayed by several weeks while Daij_Djan fixed several of my boneheaded mistakes while catching up with his tl;dr version of this series. Just look for cards that exile other cards and allow those cards to be cast for a limited time only.
Elkin Lair
Price
I’m not even gonna provide counterexamples, as it’s late, I’m tired, and this episode was delayed by several weeks while Daij_Djan fixed several of my boneheaded mistakes while catching up with his tl;dr version of this series. Just look for cards that exile other cards and allow those cards to be cast for a limited time only.
{#587 on the list of people I wish I could go back in time and “discipline” with a rolled-up Sunday Los Angeles Times from 1987; Subsection 228b—Wizards of the Coast employees: Whoever thought it was a good idea to combine Balance with phasing.}
Equipoise132
Price
KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!! QUICK, BEFORE IT LAYS EGGS!!! DON’T STOP BURNINATING IT UNTIL THE ASHES STOP MOVING, THEN DOUSE THE ASHES WITH N-STOFF!!!
That’s Step 1, and it’s only just barely able to pacify the hideous abomination enough so that we can move on to Step 2: Nuking it from orbit. Foundation simulations have found that there’s a 90% chance that more extreme measures will need to be taken to ensure total sterilization.11
Equipoise
Price
KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!! QUICK, BEFORE IT LAYS EGGS!!! DON’T STOP BURNINATING IT UNTIL THE ASHES STOP MOVING, THEN DOUSE THE ASHES WITH N-STOFF!!!
That’s Step 1, and it’s only just barely able to pacify the hideous abomination enough so that we can move on to Step 2: Nuking it from orbit. Foundation simulations have found that there’s a 90% chance that more extreme measures will need to be taken to ensure total sterilization.11
And that’s it. I’m glad to be back, and simultaneously ruing that I have to start this shit up again. Hmm. Must check for any anomalous reasons for the unusually high number of SCP reference infiltrations.
Here’s the link to the complete Reserved List.
• 57 cards stay on The Reserved List.
• 181 cards get reprinted in Standard (with, in this episode, Aku Djinn downgraded from
to ; and Bogardan Phoenix, Chronatog, & Diamond Kaleidoscope all downgraded from to ).• 58 cards get reprinted in supplemental sets.
•
• Dark Ritual has been added to The New Revised Reserved List.
•
BSQ: 378/435, or 86.89655172413793%.
Next three weeks we’ll be continuing on with Visions, then our usual 2-week end-of-set break, then on to Weatherlight.
Until next time, for Teferi & Ral Zarek, this is sdfkjgh, saying thanks, once again, to Daij_Djan for spotting those mistakes. It’s prolly completely outside of the realm of possibility that I won’t make any more, so hopefully from now on, it’ll be a lot easier and quicker to correct them.
{Footnotes}
| 1 | I don’t know if anyone’s noticed, but episodes are usually 12 cards long, because that’s how many cards fit onscreen in the master List, but Visions episodes will be 10 each. Just a little behind-the-scenes trivia for all of you who love to know how the sausage is made. |
| 0 | 0 |
| 2 | Delicious! |
| 0 | 0 |
| 3 | And note the huge-breasted typist in the background. |
| 0 | 0 |
| 4 | This combo is like a dark mirror image of Taking Turns decks, in that you force your opponent to take all the turns, eventually decking them, because they can’t actually do shit against you. The way it works is to have a round of Chronomantic Escape in various stages of suspension &/or resolution, a Chronosavant in your graveyard, and a butt-ton of mana to activate your Giant. While under the effects of a Chronomantic Escape, activate the Chronosavant a bunch of times, each time retaining priority to respond to the previous activation with another activation. Since each turn skip is independent from the return to the battlefield, you’ve now skipped as many of your next few turns as you had mana to poke your Giant awake. Chronomantic Escape lasts until your next turn, but what happens when that turn never comes? Like I said, miserable to play against. |
| 0 | 0 |
| 5 | Ain’t nothin’ but a thang, babay. |
| 0 | 0 |
| 6 | en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rust-Oleum |
| 0 | 0 |
| 7 | www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2_snSkpULQ |
| 0 | 0 |
| 8 | en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Atomic_Energy_Agency |
| 0 | 0 |
| 9 | en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_military_nuclear_incident_terminology |
| 0 | 0 |
| 10 | Nuisance Engine’s Pests always reminded me of a cross between a tick & a Mondoshawan. For bonus points, the Engine itself looks vaguely reminiscent of the Mondoshawan ship. |
| 0 | 0 |
| 11 | There, you got your ludicrous serial escalation. Are you happy now? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?! |