bandalf96
0/0 Germ
Honestly, I can't think of a creature that is too beefy... The bigger the better!
Posts: 9
Favorite Card: Atarka, World Render
Favorite Set: Rise of the Eldrazi
Color Alignment: Red, Green
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Post by bandalf96 on Aug 18, 2018 6:47:10 GMT
Hello, a while back I started working on a set based on the web show RWBY, and I wanted to get some feedback on a few cards. Any and all feedback is appreciated, thanks. I have attached these three cards: -Nukalavee -Ruby Rose -Beacon Academy Again, any feedback would be appreciated, and I will continue posting cards that I am unsure about on this thread until the set is finished. Attachment DeletedAttachment DeletedAttachment Deleted
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Post by fluffydeathbringer on Aug 19, 2018 22:59:55 GMT
can't really speak for the RWBY authenticity of the cards but here's some comments anyway bandalf96
- I feel like Grimm could just be Horrors, having them be their own type throws me off. ditto with Hunter being able to be expressed with, idk, Soldier? inventing new types throws me and several others off so it might lead to an awkward reception
- Nukalavee's ability should be worded: "Target opponent discards a card. Activate this ability only any time you could cast a sorcery." - Strike shouldn't be capitalized in Ruby Rose - the mana pool isn't referenced in rules text anymore so Beacon should be "T: Add G, W, or U." also Reach shouldn't be capitalized in it
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bandalf96
0/0 Germ
Honestly, I can't think of a creature that is too beefy... The bigger the better!
Posts: 9
Favorite Card: Atarka, World Render
Favorite Set: Rise of the Eldrazi
Color Alignment: Red, Green
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Post by bandalf96 on Sept 4, 2018 3:46:25 GMT
Thank you for your feedback! On your thought about the Grimm being their own type, I really feel that Grimm (And Hunters) should remain as their own types for flavor reasons. I would also love to hear any thoughts you have on the playability of these cards, and I have updated Nuckalavee recently and have attached the updated version.
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Post by Daij_Djan on Sept 5, 2018 10:34:10 GMT
As I've been a big fan of RWBY for the first few seasons (I think I dropped it after the Nuckalavee fight), I'm quite interested in what you'll come up with. On your thought about the Grimm being their own type, I really feel that Grimm (And Hunters) should remain as their own types for flavor reasons. While I do get your point, personally I also think Grim would work perfectly as Horrors - and Hunters probably as Warriors - making your set a bit less parasitic, but I guess that's only a minor detail right now. Concerning your cards: - Ruby Rose looks like a solid rare legendary. Heroic definitely is a fitting mechanic to return.
- Beacon is a bit underwhelming, tbh. On the one hand Seaside Citadel (as the rest of the cycle) is considered as above the curve by WotC, so not being much stronger than that is a good thing, I suppose. Still, granting reach to your team isn't really a strong ability to start with especially if it costs four mana (including Beacon) to activate (and your opponent sees it coming).
- Nuckalavee actually has gotten worse after you reworked it imho. First of all, fear isn't used anymore - even if its replacement intimidate was dropped a while ago for good reasons and replaced with menace - and even ignoring this the new card simply is incredibly weak. Compare your cost / stats to Nessian Asp which only requires a single colored mana (compared to three ones in two colors), f.e. I definitely preferred the previous version even if repetative discard should probably belong at rare, but otherwise the card was much more balanced and interesting (also I think the card definitely deserves being a rare, maybe even a legendary considering the story..
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bandalf96
0/0 Germ
Honestly, I can't think of a creature that is too beefy... The bigger the better!
Posts: 9
Favorite Card: Atarka, World Render
Favorite Set: Rise of the Eldrazi
Color Alignment: Red, Green
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Post by bandalf96 on Sept 7, 2018 17:51:59 GMT
regarding your thoughts on Beacon, I have to agree, it felt underwhelming. However, I have made a few slight changes, and have completed a cycle for all the academies. I have attached three of the five, and plan on attaching the other two as soon as I find good artwork for them.
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bandalf96
0/0 Germ
Honestly, I can't think of a creature that is too beefy... The bigger the better!
Posts: 9
Favorite Card: Atarka, World Render
Favorite Set: Rise of the Eldrazi
Color Alignment: Red, Green
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Post by bandalf96 on Sept 24, 2018 5:15:23 GMT
So I've been working on the set some more, and I have come up with a new concept/idea/set mechanic that I could really use some opinions on. Dust: The mechanic is simple, I am treating it similar to treasures or clues, where you have a card that puts out a "Dust" Artifact token. All Dust has the following ability: "Whenever this permanent leaves the battlefield, add 1." Attachment Deleted Attachment Deleted
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bandalf96
0/0 Germ
Honestly, I can't think of a creature that is too beefy... The bigger the better!
Posts: 9
Favorite Card: Atarka, World Render
Favorite Set: Rise of the Eldrazi
Color Alignment: Red, Green
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Post by bandalf96 on Sept 26, 2018 18:27:41 GMT
I have attached the other two Academy lands, which complete the cycle of legendary lands representing the four hunter schools and Salem's domain.
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bandalf96
0/0 Germ
Honestly, I can't think of a creature that is too beefy... The bigger the better!
Posts: 9
Favorite Card: Atarka, World Render
Favorite Set: Rise of the Eldrazi
Color Alignment: Red, Green
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Post by bandalf96 on Sept 30, 2018 20:49:13 GMT
I finished team RWBY, and wish to know what everyone thinks. Attachment DeletedAttachment DeletedAttachment DeletedFor Blake, I was going for the duality of her character, having her be able to fit in with either the White Fang (B) or Hunters (W). I hope to capture both aspects of her character, from the terrorist to the huntress in training. For Weiss, I chose to have her work with the set mechanic involving Dust, and she is one of the more powerful dust users. Finally, I wished to capture Yang's semblance while balancing her with other Heroic cards in the set. (Ruby being my other example right now.) With Yang, I tried going for a more balanced way of allowing her to tank hits and power herself up.
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Post by fluffydeathbringer on Oct 1, 2018 8:12:27 GMT
Dust is awkward because barring external sac outlets (which are rare for artifacts, unless they're a theme in this set), you won't get the benefit. There's a reason existing artifact tokens can provide their benefit autonomously. Without an external outlet, Schnee's a glorified vanilla 3/2 for 2WW.
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bandalf96
0/0 Germ
Honestly, I can't think of a creature that is too beefy... The bigger the better!
Posts: 9
Favorite Card: Atarka, World Render
Favorite Set: Rise of the Eldrazi
Color Alignment: Red, Green
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Post by bandalf96 on Oct 1, 2018 14:52:10 GMT
I have updated Weiss. I did this for a couple of reasons, number one of which is that she was too powerful when I considered her with the rest of the set. There are too many ways to sacrifice many dust artifacts at once to a huge effect, and I didn't want her to break the mechanic by providing so much dust. Instead, I went the route I did with Yang and tried to capture her semblance. I did this by allowing her to copy creatures that she has killed, but they only last until end of turn. And before anyone says anything, I know that this is a primarily Black ability, but I have the Schnee family as being Orzhov, and she is a Schnee. I wanted to give her an ability that was black but make her feel white, so as to represent her trying to cast off the influence of her family. And of course I wanted her to have some way to interact with dust, but I felt that she was more a user of dust, not its creator. Attachment Deleted
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Post by fluffydeathbringer on Oct 1, 2018 15:24:17 GMT
- in general, trying to justify off-color mechanics with flavour is bad, because flavour can be used as a justification for anything if you try ("but my monoblue spell does damage because it's throwing shards of ice at you") - after looking up the superpower you reference, it's weird that you choose her main thing to be the ancestral technique of a bloodline whose ways she is trying to reject - some suggestions I have: - have her ability incorporate the part of her semblance that makes platforms instead, perhaps as an ability that either untaps or protects other creatures or herself - if you choose the replication thing anyway, maybe more of a Séance thing since the wiki says that this effect is more "summoning previously felled foes" and less "converting a slain foe into a mirage ally immediately". this would have the bonus effect of actually being based on an in-color thing
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Post by fluffydeathbringer on Oct 1, 2018 15:29:52 GMT
oh and blake's kinda clumsy in design since it asks you to remember across turns what you spent to cast her in ways that require either two different visual identifiers or pen and paper to track, and also feels a bit unnecessary because why would you ever not spend 2WB anyway, that would convey the duality of her schism reasonably well already imo
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bandalf96
0/0 Germ
Honestly, I can't think of a creature that is too beefy... The bigger the better!
Posts: 9
Favorite Card: Atarka, World Render
Favorite Set: Rise of the Eldrazi
Color Alignment: Red, Green
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Post by bandalf96 on Oct 5, 2018 14:48:08 GMT
Thanks fluffydeathbringer, I wanted Weiss to have a mechanic that reflected her semblance of summoning foes she has beaten, but I couldn't find one that wasn't black. Seance works perfectly. Also, I have decided to change Blake as well. Here are the new versions: Attachment Deleted Attachment Deleted
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Post by fluffydeathbringer on Oct 5, 2018 15:32:11 GMT
now Blake's a bit too weak, more a nonlegendary than one of the main protagonists
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nxtarch
0/0 Germ
Posts: 2
Favorite Card: Goatnapper
Favorite Set: Scars of Mirrodin
Color Alignment: Blue, Black, Red, Green
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Post by nxtarch on Oct 7, 2018 0:35:10 GMT
Hey, should Weiss's ability be only able to target an opponent's graveyard?
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bandalf96
0/0 Germ
Honestly, I can't think of a creature that is too beefy... The bigger the better!
Posts: 9
Favorite Card: Atarka, World Render
Favorite Set: Rise of the Eldrazi
Color Alignment: Red, Green
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Post by bandalf96 on Oct 7, 2018 0:43:49 GMT
Hi. I didn't think about that. I have now changed Weiss' ability to only target cards in opponents graveyards instead of anybody's.
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Post by veridian on Dec 3, 2018 22:07:39 GMT
Great start! I'm a fan of RWBY and MtG as well, and made a half-hearted attempt at an adaption, but had some initial problems with some of the parallels, and moved on to other (non MSE) interests, but still feel enthusiasm for a RWBY set. Are you still working on this? Do you have a general outline of how you are treating the various themes of RWBY? Such as: -If Grimm is retained as a new creature type, what defines them as their own creature type? I'm trying to sum it up in a phrase and falling short, but while it would seem like they are Black, it seems as though they are more 'product of black' or 'responds to black themes', almost Eldrazi that are attracted to strife. A theme of 'when any attack is declared, untap this creature', similar to Intruder Alarm for attacks or responsive Vigilance feels right. -Have you thought of having a base 'student' template? Using the 'vanilla 1/1 Soldier' as a baseline of what a standard soldier would be, it seems that a student would not be quite as good or perhaps an even match for one, and a graduate Huntsman or Huntress would be a bit better, such as an average one being 2/2, 3/2, or 2/3. What I'm getting at is, while some students stand out as MUCH better than other students, they are still starting out as students. This might allow for an 'uncommon slot' Yang at 2/2, each member of a team having flavor based traits (Ruby being 1/1 or 1/2 with haste, Yang being 2/2, Blake as a 1/1 with evasion, and Weiss as a 1/1 with 'equip 1 less' or something.) This would allow you to revisit things we haven't seen in the series but know exist, such as Raven as a student. {Spoiler}{Current season based classification-Spoilers} -Perhaps use normal MtG types for classes of entities as a baseline? It's not directly applicable, so some creative license needs to be used. My impression is Remnant's Gods may be the only entities that seem to 'planeswalk' but as to their actual effect in the story line they are pretty typical 'gods', having aura like effects like Scarab God, but otherwise not doing anything super special. On the other hand, Ozpin is not typical of a creature in any way, and while a standard creature version of him might have some sort of recursion or regeneration, his effect on the battlefield seems more like a Planeswalker to me: one who does not directly attack or block under normal conditions, but instead has an general beneficial effect on your board state. This would also describe Salem. I'd put the 4 seasonal themed 'Maidens' as Enchantment Creatures at Legendary. I have since seemed to find that sets write themselves when I set up rough guidelines of what various elements do within the context of the set, something I didn't use when I tried making a RWBY set myself and ended up loading the main characters up with a zillion things and then the 'minion's ended up being so basic and worthless there was little realistic balance. That said, some ideas on cards you posted already: {Spoiler}{Notes on cards} Nukalavee: Not sure if it throws balance off, but it was a pretty powerful creature requiring teamwork, so maybe add 'must be blocked by 2 or more creatures'? Fear seems like it would fit, however the actual mechanic does not, especially if the set theme is 'Hunters VS Grimm', where none of the hunters could block a Grimm attack (defeating the purpose). As to the argument about 'new creature type due to flavor' it seems that there would be a better argument if there's a mechanic that triggers off of the type, such as a 'Badlands' land that generates Grimm and only Grimm when there is conflict? such as 'whenever Human attackers are declared, you may search your library for a Grimm creature with power/toughness 2/2 or less and place it on the battlefield under your control' or 'whenever Human attackers are declared, place a 1/1 black Grimm creature token on the battlefield under your control', but this is still a weak argument for a new creature type. (I'm trying to use Rats/Swarmyard type mechanics to justify it, since I like it, but it's hard to make it a strong argument). Ruby Rose: I mentioned perhaps have 2 variants of this card, student and graduate, and I mentioned Haste, but First strike may be better. Someone who's better at gauging MtG flavor would be more knowledgeable than I what 'speed attack' would be represented best by: First Strike, Haste, Flash, Double Strike ..? Her semblance implies traveling fast at short distances, striking quickly multiple times, and limited flight, but these don't translate well. I think the 'Heroic' mechanic works well here as she does seem to draw the best out of others, but I'm not thinking that it should be a major theme (or else every main character ends up with it or some version of it) She is a soldier, and soldier themes work well with her. Critique: I know she wears red and 'Ruby Rose' screams red, but in MtG, red is more about wild passion and emotion, where as Ruby seems more attuned to 'what's right' which is a White trait. It's going to look wierd, but she's more of a White Soldier than a Red Goblin . Yang, on the other hand, is hot-headed and reactive, making her red or green (probably green, due to growth, but family is important to her, which is red) Beacon Academy: Slight flavor changes- the title implies it's the only school that trains hunters (which, sure, in the first few volumes of the series we don't know much about the other 3 academies) Also, I'm not sure what flight has to do with beacon, it seems arbitrary. Depending on how deep you are going with the set, might I suggest something along the lines of 'T, tap a fall maiden: search your library for a Relic Artifact and (Relics not defined yet). Keep in mind that there are 2 cycles of 5 3 color land combos, 4 academies, some other schools mentioned (Signal), and that it seems that the Relics (and associated schools) have specific themes such as Knowledge, Creation, etc, which there are defined MtG themes in colors already established. Might look at what guilds are closest to which schools? (removed notes due to length) Dust: seems more like this might work like Clues or Treasure: "Sacrifice this artifact to add **(energy tokens)". This makes it more of a 'power artifacts and enchantments and creatures' than 'bring stuff into play' artifact. It loses some of the fun of color (specific dust enhancing specific effects) but that would be too high of a level of complexity, perhaps. Schnee dust mines: If the change to Dust is considered, then Dust Mines of any kind would produce Energy, not Mana. Within a draft environment, this might not be too much of a drag on gameplay (loss of mana-producing lands in the set). If considering Commander/Brawl or otherwise mixing with other planes, perhaps make 'normal' lands or artifact lands (even add colored mana) with the additional 'T: create an artifact token with 'Sacrifice this artifact: add **(Energy Counters)' Other academies: Shade has good theme/flavor with deathtouch, though again I'd suggest a reference to the relic or it's theme. Atlas would be better to have Flying, as they are always depicted with a flying military, but again, I'd go with Relic themes for the schools, or look at Tolarian Acadamy as a template with mana production based on relic theme, then add mana producing lands based on city or country basis. To a degree, then you could have each school add mana based on some aspect, and make Salem's land produce Black (for each Grimm you control?) I'll agree that tri-lands are better than taplands, but some areas are hard to attribute more than one or two MtG themes to (such as Salem's tower is probably strictly Black). I wonder if it would be better to craft the base focuses and templates for the set, craft the world in cards, THEN fit powering the world in basic/dual/tri/utility lands. Might also considering culling some things that end up with too much of one thing and pushing these into a second set (though that's a LOT more work). In this way, even though the White Fang are considered 'bad guys', they are a passionate, destructive force driven by justice, making them Boros (Red/White). They would have started out as R/W verging to R/G, but are now R/W verging on R/B Blake: (R/W) The same can be said for Blake, who's father is Lion like (white) and mother could be said to be family oriented (red). Adam is also driven by justice and passion, but is also self-centered and corrupt, adding black. (I don't see Blake as having anything to do with Black, other than she wears black.) To a degree, I don't see Blake as having duality of character. She's concerned about the things she was involved with, but she, herself, is pretty straight forward, wanting to do what is right almost more passionately than anyone else. She despises the wrong, and in this way she does not have any Black to her. (that was adapted from something else I was writing) Blake Belladonna, in my opinion, should be Red/White (nWR), may have vigilance, but also should have evasion, referencing her Semblance, perhaps Shadow or Ninjitsu? Hmm.. it would take some work, but it would be interesting to be like "T: place a 0/1 Illusion Artifact Token on the battlefield blocking target attacker. with "sacrifice this artifact at the beginning of the next end step". Activation cost could also be Energy based, so it can be recurred in one event if this isn't too OP. Weiss Schnee: (U or U/B or W/U) This seems less epic than your Yang or Ruby (though she does seem like a supporting character). It's hard to get swordplay and adept spell control into a creature without complexity or OP, unless you put something in like Bushito? If she does fit a slot in your set for Dust production, though, I'd suggest "During your upkeep, add a Dust artifact token with 'sacrifice...etc'", since it seems like wherever she is there's never a shortage of Dust (instead of a one-off ETB), unless this makes it OP. Color: Weiss is mostly about precision, studying, and that having enough knowledge about tactics and whatnot is most important. She does want to do what is right, but is extremely self centered. Her importance on knowledge and training is more what her sister and homeland has drilled into her, giving her a fickleness that's sorta black (it's too hard!) sorta white (military precision and doing what's right at all costs), sorta blue (knowledge is power) In reality she's so bland of a character it's really hard to put any real flavor into her. Yang Xiao Long: (G, or R/G) (I need to study Heroic mechanic more, looks like it's flexible enough to work on specific... ignore above?) Yang's pumping is temporary and has limits. I'm not good at balance and technical MtG verbage, but to be more on-flavor how about something like: "Trample. If ~ would be dealt damage, ~ is +1/+0 until end of turn for each point of damage she would be dealt." and perhaps make her a 1/3 or 2/3 to start with? In this way, she doesn't get super OP in long games, but you could use other sources to hit her hard, regenerate her, then smash face. (depends if you envision a game as a single battle or a war... in a war she'd boost many times, in a battle she'd be continuously building) Color: she's green as she's kind of the Mindless Brute that Grows, but she's also quick to react to destruction, making her slightly Red. I'd like to kick ideas around if you're still working on this.
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Post by kefke on Dec 21, 2018 20:44:21 GMT
Okay, I'm really surprised I haven't seen anybody bring this up yet, but isn't it kind of weird that the school Ruby belongs to doesn't provide the colour of mana needed to cast Ruby. I'd say Beacon would be more fitting for an "any color, spend only to cast Hunters" effect, but it wouldn't work with your cycle of academies (and could really be said of all of them, which would be excessive). Secondly, with Yang's wild personality and fiery temper, she seems like she belongs in red as well. Certainly more than green, which only seems to be on her card because of the counters? Which, actually, don't seem to properly reflect how Yang's semblance works, being as it's temporary boost. Finally, I feel like the Dust tokens aren't really capturing what Dust does. I don't agree on switching them to energy tokens, but they do need a different resource. As much as it's redundant with Treasure tokens, sacrificing the token to produce coloured mana really is the best way to represent the different colours of Dust. What I'd suggest to differentiate them is to add a Dust supertype, and costs that must be paid in "dust mana" - functionally the same as snow mana, but with a "color matters" aspect. e.g. If a dust permanent produces red mana, that mana can be spent on anything that costs R or RD (where RD indicates one red dust mana).
Artifacts representing the various weapons would be an obvious place to use such costs on abilities. With the Schnee Dust Mines already having a harsher version of the Forbidden Orchard effect (whenever it becomes tapped, rather than just for mana), this would also open the door for the mines to be a Dust Land that produces any colour instead of just - which would up the power a bit, but as I said it's currently a weaker version of the Orchard.
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