Post by sdfkjgh on Jun 15, 2018 1:59:40 GMT
Mood music
…You might as well stop screaming, no one can hear you, so no one’s coming to help. Save your strength for later; you’ll need it, believe me. So anyway, officer, like I was just telling you, the reason their ink is so addicting is because 80% of it is the blood of innocents. What’s that? Why yes, I can prove I’m a fully sanctioned subcontractor for Wizards of the Coast, let me go get my Contractor’s License right now. Just gimme a second.
Hmm.
Hmmmm.
Y’know what? I can’t seem to find it at the moment, but if you’d care to come back in about a week, with a warrant, I’m sure I’ll have found it by then. Thank you for your time.
Sorry about that. Pssshh! Just a little bother with mistaken identities, happens all the damn time. So anyway, welcome back to No Reservations II, pt. 4e Legends. A quick recap:
Here’s the link to the complete Reserved List.
• 38 stay put.
• 44 cards reprinted for Standard.
• 18 cards reprinted in supplemental sets.
•39 Unspeakables.
• And Dark Ritual added to The Reserved List, because it knows exactly what it did.
This gives us a BSQ of 102/140, or 72.(857142)repeating%.
Let’s get right to it.
Phew! that last one was much harder than I thought it would be. Tally, atcha!
• 38 cards stay on The List.
• 48 cards reprinted in Standard (with, in this episode, Planar Gate downgraded from
to 
).
• 22 cards reprinted in supplemental sets (with, in this episode, Spinal Villain returned to its original rarity).
•44 cards not even worth putting in the spokes of your bicycle.5
• And Dark Rit still belongs in Category 1.
This gives us a BSQ of 115/153, or 75.16339869281046%! Who had 75% before we got through Legends? Anyone? You win a prize! Come see me to collect it after the entirety of No Reservations II is over.
Join us next week, when we’ll be finishing Legends, and the week after that, in Tosche Station, where I’ll be sharing Grime & Sunlight.
Until then, with thanks and praises to our wonderful Editor, Daij_Djan, this is The Daily News Flenser, signing off.
Pack everything up, Ral, the cops are on to us!
Ral: Teferi’s gonna be pissed!
Oh, Teferi’s always pissed, now move!
…You might as well stop screaming, no one can hear you, so no one’s coming to help. Save your strength for later; you’ll need it, believe me. So anyway, officer, like I was just telling you, the reason their ink is so addicting is because 80% of it is the blood of innocents. What’s that? Why yes, I can prove I’m a fully sanctioned subcontractor for Wizards of the Coast, let me go get my Contractor’s License right now. Just gimme a second.
Hmm.
Hmmmm.
Y’know what? I can’t seem to find it at the moment, but if you’d care to come back in about a week, with a warrant, I’m sure I’ll have found it by then. Thank you for your time.
Sorry about that. Pssshh! Just a little bother with mistaken identities, happens all the damn time. So anyway, welcome back to No Reservations II, pt. 4e Legends. A quick recap:
Here’s the link to the complete Reserved List.
• 38 stay put.
• 44 cards reprinted for Standard.
• 18 cards reprinted in supplemental sets.
•
• And Dark Ritual added to The Reserved List, because it knows exactly what it did.
This gives us a BSQ of 102/140, or 72.(857142)repeating%.
Let’s get right to it.
{Pentacle torn? Oh no! I hate it when that happens!}
Nova Pentacle 45
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And now you can’t unthink it!
Nova Pentacle is an interesting card. Since it’s a little on the expensive side, very few decks would want to play it, which is very good for the one archetype that would play the hell out of it: creatureless (or near-creatureless) control. Yes, I’ll rail against the heavens in my vociferous opposition to and downright hatred of the archetype, but at the end of the day, my Melvin forces me to recognize that it’s as much a part of our game as any archetype I love, and as such, it too needs some card love. Even if it never seems to need any help, as Wizards will always print the tools it needs to succeed each and every Standard.
Nova Pentacle 45
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And now you can’t unthink it!
Nova Pentacle is an interesting card. Since it’s a little on the expensive side, very few decks would want to play it, which is very good for the one archetype that would play the hell out of it: creatureless (or near-creatureless) control. Yes, I’ll rail against the heavens in my vociferous opposition to and downright hatred of the archetype, but at the end of the day, my Melvin forces me to recognize that it’s as much a part of our game as any archetype I love, and as such, it too needs some card love. Even if it never seems to need any help, as Wizards will always print the tools it needs to succeed each and every Standard.
{Mississippi Lott}
Pixie Queen40
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Tangential thinking is my gift and my curse.
HATES fliers! That’s why specifically anti-air is primary in , by a wide margin. So why in the name of the Seven Steel Thanes would you violate the color pie so badly by giving not only a flier, but one that can grant flying to other creatures?! Yes, it cost way too much, but that only further highlights the fail, as the costs are HEAVILY colored. “Oh, but whatabout Evolution Charm?” MaRo himself has said to NEVER USE PLANAR CHAOS AS AN EXAMPLE! End of story!
Pixie Queen
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Tangential thinking is my gift and my curse.
HATES fliers! That’s why specifically anti-air is primary in , by a wide margin. So why in the name of the Seven Steel Thanes would you violate the color pie so badly by giving not only a flier, but one that can grant flying to other creatures?! Yes, it cost way too much, but that only further highlights the fail, as the costs are HEAVILY colored. “Oh, but whatabout Evolution Charm?” MaRo himself has said to NEVER USE PLANAR CHAOS AS AN EXAMPLE! End of story!{Check No Reservations II, pt. 4d Legends}
Planar Gate 46, downgraded from to , as per Masters Edition IV.
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Remember everything I said about Mana Matrix? It still holds for Planar Gate. There’s no reason for Planar Gate to be Listed; none at all!
Planar Gate 46, downgraded from
to , as per Masters Edition IV.Price
Remember everything I said about Mana Matrix? It still holds for Planar Gate. There’s no reason for Planar Gate to be Listed; none at all!
{I’ll use any excuse to reference Our Tom}
Quarum Trench Gnomes 191
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Ok, let’s get this out of the way right off the bat: yes, Quarum Trench Gnomes is almost Repeatable Land Destruction, and RLD is always a big no-no. However, there’s enough ways to work around it that it’s just this side of manageable. Plus, the lands aren’t gone completely, they can still produce mana, just not colored mana. It’s better against multipurpose lands with land types, obviously, but again, still something that can be worked around.
Quarum Trench Gnomes 191
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Ok, let’s get this out of the way right off the bat: yes, Quarum Trench Gnomes is almost Repeatable Land Destruction, and RLD is always a big no-no. However, there’s enough ways to work around it that it’s just this side of manageable. Plus, the lands aren’t gone completely, they can still produce mana, just not colored mana. It’s better against multipurpose lands with land types, obviously, but again, still something that can be worked around.
{How does it feel to know that not only are you outclassed by a Reknit onna steeck, but that your entire shtick has been abandoned in favor of a younger, better mechanic?}
Ragnar41
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Ragnar is just not good. He’s too mediocre to be terrible. And
isn’t supposed to have regeneration. Good thing we now have indestructible, so we don’t have to muck about with regen shields anymore. There’s just nowhere but The Pile to put him without me feeling like I’m lying.
Ragnar
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{Stuff & Things, Attorneys at Law}
Reknit
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onna steeck
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Ovvah fings t’put onna stick
Stuff wot don’t needa stick
Reknit
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onna steeck
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Ovvah fings t’put onna stick
Stuff wot don’t needa stick
Ragnar is just not good. He’s too mediocre to be terrible. And
isn’t supposed to have regeneration. Good thing we now have indestructible, so we don’t have to muck about with regen shields anymore. There’s just nowhere but The Pile to put him without me feeling like I’m lying.{Oh look, ANOTHER overcosted, overcolored Legend that’s obsoleted by something onna steeck!}
Ramses Overdark42
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Do I even need to say anything? How about just search Gatherer for ANY OTHER
LEGENDARY PERMANENT NOT IN LEGENDS?!
Ramses Overdark
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Do I even need to say anything? How about just search Gatherer for ANY OTHER
LEGENDARY PERMANENT NOT IN LEGENDS?!{Rampage: Terrible mechanic, atrocious movie, ok if a little overdone & repetitive videogame series}
Rapid Fire43
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Rampage is, along with banding, one of the earliest mechanics (named or otherwise) to be dropped from the game. It’s easy to see why. The official rules for Rampage are as follows:
What that actually translates to, in gameplay, is “Never (99.9% of the time) block with more than one creature”, aka Stalking Tiger’s ability. Now that we have menace, maybe rampage could make a comeback? I mean, we do have Gorilla Berserkers; even if it’s an overcosted piece of trash, it’s still an interesting design that actually makes rampage relevant, as opposed to Horrible Hordes, a card which only exists to lampshade its own joke existence of “Isn’t rampage terrible? Ho ho, I’m hilarious!”
No. No you are not.
Anyway, back to Rapid Fire. It’s just terrible. Four mana for an “instant” with a timing restriction so strict (for a supposed combat trick), it might as well be a sorcery. And what does that four mana get you? First strike. That’s it. Because, let’s face it, that timing window means that the granted rampage WILL NEVER (99.999%) MATTER! The defending player will see it coming, and will be able to plan accordingly.
It’s a shame that WotC can’t reclaim names of cards or abilities (rampage should’ve been rebranded into Spined Sliver’s ability), and that it can’t fix past mistakes (Pin to the Earth should’ve retroactively been given the ability to remove flying & prevent the gaining of flying).
Rapid Fire
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{Birds of a +2/+N & first strike feather; and some descendants}
Doobly-doo
Doobly-Doo 2: Electric Avenue
Spined Sliver
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Chub Toad
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#ReturnToKamigawa2020
Doobly-doo
Doobly-Doo 2: Electric Avenue
Spined Sliver
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Chub Toad
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#ReturnToKamigawa2020
Rampage is, along with banding, one of the earliest mechanics (named or otherwise) to be dropped from the game. It’s easy to see why. The official rules for Rampage are as follows:
702.22. Rampage
|
What that actually translates to, in gameplay, is “Never (99.9% of the time) block with more than one creature”, aka Stalking Tiger’s ability. Now that we have menace, maybe rampage could make a comeback? I mean, we do have Gorilla Berserkers; even if it’s an overcosted piece of trash, it’s still an interesting design that actually makes rampage relevant, as opposed to Horrible Hordes, a card which only exists to lampshade its own joke existence of “Isn’t rampage terrible? Ho ho, I’m hilarious!”
No. No you are not.
Anyway, back to Rapid Fire. It’s just terrible. Four mana for an “instant” with a timing restriction so strict (for a supposed combat trick), it might as well be a sorcery. And what does that four mana get you? First strike. That’s it. Because, let’s face it, that timing window means that the granted rampage WILL NEVER (99.999%) MATTER! The defending player will see it coming, and will be able to plan accordingly.
It’s a shame that WotC can’t reclaim names of cards or abilities (rampage should’ve been rebranded into Spined Sliver’s ability), and that it can’t fix past mistakes (Pin to the Earth should’ve retroactively been given the ability to remove flying & prevent the gaining of flying).
{Oh, Dreamweaver, I believe you can be a wall of text!}
Rasputin Dreamweaver 47 if I’m dreaming (heh), 20 if I’m being honest.
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The MadcapMonk Wizard is such a unique card, that it’s almost impossible to compile a list of all the equivalent effects without spending hours upon hours of Gatherer searching, TinyURLing, and coding. So, I’ll just not do that, leaving it to you, the reader to, in all likelihood, also not do. Rasputin is essentially the weirdest 4/8 in the entire game. Yes, that list is pretty short, but they’re both plenty weird themselves. And yes, I checked, that wall of text is actually slightly more readable than Bruna, Light of Alabaster, due to the many, many line breaks. My gut feeling is that they spent quite a while making sure that not only it was so readable, but that it all fit on a card.
I so desperately want to give Rasputin a full, Standard-reprint pardon, but it probably violates New Word Order seven ways to Sunday. At least my conscience can be cleared with a Commander reprint, as I know for a fact that several players swear by their Rasputin decks. I gotta be honest, and go with 20.
Rasputin Dreamweaver 47 if I’m dreaming (heh), 20 if I’m being honest.
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The Madcap
I so desperately want to give Rasputin a full, Standard-reprint pardon, but it probably violates New Word Order seven ways to Sunday. At least my conscience can be cleared with a Commander reprint, as I know for a fact that several players swear by their Rasputin decks. I gotta be honest, and go with 20.
{Dancefloors was my introduction to My Morning Jacket, in a Summer Music Sampler CD}
Reverberation44
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The song in question.
I’ll be honest, I was about to let Reverberation out into Standard, with a downgrade in rarity, even, but then I looked up Honorable Passage as an equivalent card. Readjectiving is overcosted, too narrow, and in the wrong color. That’s a Burn Pile hat trick right there! I’m glad I didn’t make THOSE mistakes!
Reverberation
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The song in question.
I’ll be honest, I was about to let Reverberation out into Standard, with a downgrade in rarity, even, but then I looked up Honorable Passage as an equivalent card. Readjectiving is overcosted, too narrow, and in the wrong color. That’s a Burn Pile hat trick right there! I’m glad I didn’t make THOSE mistakes!
{3:44 on I Would Do Anything for Love, literal music video}
Ring of Immortals 21
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The video in question.
In addition to looking just about as tacky as it possibly can, Ring of Immortals is a weird one. Why would a possession of immortals counter instants AND Auras? Instants I can understand, but Auras? Ok, things like Stab Wound2, but that won’t come out for another decade or so. This tacky ring is a little overcosted on the front end, but its activation cost is actually spot-on, even if it makes no damn sense overall.
I had a hard time deciding where to put it, as the only block that had a heavy Aura AND instant theme was Theros. I suppose it could be reprinted when, WHEN we go back (#ReturnToTheros20223 #FreeElspeth #IShipElspeth/Ajani), but I’d rather give it to the Commander crowd than have it taking up a rare slot that an actual GOOD card would otherwise normally fill.
Ring of Immortals 21
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{Equivalency that shows that artifacts can break the color pie, so long as they do it at a VERY bad rate}
Null Brooch
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Null Brooch
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The video in question.
In addition to looking just about as tacky as it possibly can, Ring of Immortals is a weird one. Why would a possession of immortals counter instants AND Auras? Instants I can understand, but Auras? Ok, things like Stab Wound2, but that won’t come out for another decade or so. This tacky ring is a little overcosted on the front end, but its activation cost is actually spot-on, even if it makes no damn sense overall.
I had a hard time deciding where to put it, as the only block that had a heavy Aura AND instant theme was Theros. I suppose it could be reprinted when, WHEN we go back (#ReturnToTheros20223 #FreeElspeth #IShipElspeth/Ajani), but I’d rather give it to the Commander crowd than have it taking up a rare slot that an actual GOOD card would otherwise normally fill.
{It’s the ugly fat fuck himself!}
Rohgahh of Kher Keep 48
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Remember what I wrote about Rohgahh & Kobold Overlord back in 4c? Because I didn’t, at least not at first. I was all set to lambaste it straight into The Burn Pile before I thought, “Wait, last time you did this, it suffered from several inconsistencies; better go check what you wrote previously.” So yeah, Rohgahh, as terribad as he is, is getting a Standard reprint, because you can’t keep good jank down. Just ask Lantern of Insight.4
One final note on Rohgahh, to those of you writers in the audience. If you’re struggling to come up with names, I don’t care what backstory or culture you have planned for that character, if you think up a name that has three “h”es in it and it’s NOT “Hitchhiker”, if you don’t immediately take a step back to wonder “What the hell am I doing?”, you should NOT be a writer. The same goes for apostrophes that aren’t used in the context of the Hawaiian written language!
Rohgahh of Kher Keep 48
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Remember what I wrote about Rohgahh & Kobold Overlord back in 4c? Because I didn’t, at least not at first. I was all set to lambaste it straight into The Burn Pile before I thought, “Wait, last time you did this, it suffered from several inconsistencies; better go check what you wrote previously.” So yeah, Rohgahh, as terribad as he is, is getting a Standard reprint, because you can’t keep good jank down. Just ask Lantern of Insight.4
One final note on Rohgahh, to those of you writers in the audience. If you’re struggling to come up with names, I don’t care what backstory or culture you have planned for that character, if you think up a name that has three “h”es in it and it’s NOT “Hitchhiker”, if you don’t immediately take a step back to wonder “What the hell am I doing?”, you should NOT be a writer. The same goes for apostrophes that aren’t used in the context of the Hawaiian written language!
{#27 in our catalogue of The Asses of Magic: Ol’ BugButt-Eyes}
Spinal Villain 22, but I’ll be keeping my eye on it, and keeping it at.
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It can sometimes be surprisingly helpful to get help on a matter from someone almost totally ignorant of that matter. Since they’re so far removed from the matter, they lack all the emotional attachments to it that might hold back someone more familiar. I was having a really hard time figuring out where to put Compound Butt-Eyes, so I asked my Mom. She’s about as far removed from Magic as anyone who lives with a player can be. She was able to whittle down the choices to just a supplemental reprinting, via sheer logic of elimination.
There’s just one problem. Spinal Villain might just be simultaneously too powerful and too narrow, even for Commander. That’s why I’ll have to keep my eye on it.
Spinal Villain 22, but I’ll be keeping my eye on it, and keeping it at
.Price
card that says “destroy”}It can sometimes be surprisingly helpful to get help on a matter from someone almost totally ignorant of that matter. Since they’re so far removed from the matter, they lack all the emotional attachments to it that might hold back someone more familiar. I was having a really hard time figuring out where to put Compound Butt-Eyes, so I asked my Mom. She’s about as far removed from Magic as anyone who lives with a player can be. She was able to whittle down the choices to just a supplemental reprinting, via sheer logic of elimination.
There’s just one problem. Spinal Villain might just be simultaneously too powerful and too narrow, even for Commander. That’s why I’ll have to keep my eye on it.
Phew! that last one was much harder than I thought it would be. Tally, atcha!
• 38 cards stay on The List.
• 48 cards reprinted in Standard (with, in this episode, Planar Gate downgraded from
to ).• 22 cards reprinted in supplemental sets (with, in this episode, Spinal Villain returned to its original
rarity).•
• And Dark Rit still belongs in Category 1.
This gives us a BSQ of 115/153, or 75.16339869281046%! Who had 75% before we got through Legends? Anyone? You win a prize! Come see me to collect it after the entirety of No Reservations II is over.
Join us next week, when we’ll be finishing Legends, and the week after that, in Tosche Station, where I’ll be sharing Grime & Sunlight.
Until then, with thanks and praises to our wonderful Editor, Daij_Djan, this is The Daily News Flenser, signing off.
Pack everything up, Ral, the cops are on to us!
Ral: Teferi’s gonna be pissed!
Oh, Teferi’s always pissed, now move!
{Footnotes}
| 1 | I know, I’m just as surprised as you are! |
| 2 | Can you imagine being immortal, unkillable, but also having a stab wound that never healed, that never stopped bleeding? Paging the Fisher King! |
| 3 | Is it too much to hope for a Sealab-based set in 2021? |
| 4 | #BanEnsnaringBridge #BlastFromPastFootnotes |
| 5 | Do people still even do this? |
