No Reservations II, pt. 1b—Limited Edition

{Fastbond}
Fastbond 2
Price


Considering that Fastbond was reprinted in Vintage Masters, I’d say it’s fine for a supplemental reprint. Yes, all right, Vintage Masters was an online-only set (quite the sneaky way to get around the promise made with The Reserved List, Wizards), but, and correct me if I’m wrong here, Fastbond didn’t break anything this go-around, did it? Admittedly, Lands.deck would prolly abuse this card so much, it’d make you wanna reach for the courtroom doll, but I think that’s a small enough risk to take. Fastbond is out on parole, but I’ll be watching.

{Forcefield}
Forcefield 3
Price


Forcefield is one of those cards that make you wonder “Why is this on here? Is this effect really that scary?” You could honestly make an enchantment that is literally Ajani Steadfast’s emblem (, seems good), and it’d be totally fine for Standard. Forcefield is one of the MANY rares that suffered because Wizards didn’t want to be smart & go on a case-by-case basis, instead using a suffocating, crushing, blanket statement.

{Fork}
Fork 4
Price


Fork is another card whose Reserved List status annoys me to no end, and it’s in here only because of other, actual broken cards. Wizards has a historical habit of breaking things by subverting the mana system, then treating the symptoms and ignoring the cause. Case in point: Dark Ritual & Hypnotic Specter. “Turn 1 Hyppy? That’s too good! What do we ban?! It couldn’t possibly be the card that subverts the mana system, and ALWAYS enables broken things! I know! It’s the creature’s fault! HYPNOTIC SPECTER IS BANNED!” Need another example? Lodestone Golem & Mishra’s Workshop! “Lodestone Golem is too oppressive, especially on turn 1 or 2! What do we ban/restrict?! It couldn’t possibly be the card that subverts the mana system by tapping for with no restrictions! I know! It’s the creature’s fault! LODESTONE GOLEM IS NOW RESTRICTED!” If you look throughout Magic’s history, you’ll find other examples; you won’t even need to look all that hard.

“Copy target instant or sorcery spell.” is such a staple effect, that the OG granddaddy of them all deserves to be Standard-legal! WotC could print the following spell:
WARNING! Do not look if you are a member of #WotCStaff, and it’d be perfectly fine for Standard. #FreeFork! His family, Dish, Knife, and Spoon, have been waiting far too long for him to come home.

{Gauntlet of Might}
Gauntlet of Might 5
Price


The only reason I can think of as to why Gauntlet of Might is on The List is that at the time, it could, in theory, augment the already too-strong-for-its-own-good-and-the-good-of-the-game combo of Channel/Fireball. Which, on the face of it, is immeasurably stupid, which means that that’s probably the only reason they did it. If all of the equivalencies I listed are/were ok for their Standard environments, then Gauntlet of Might should be ok for Standard as well. In fact, I’m willing to go onefive better, by completing out the tight cycle no one ever knew it should’ve been:



Hmm. In light of Eldrazi &/or artifact decks’ dominance in various metagames, mebbe we should omit the colorless one.

{Granite Gargoyle}
Granite Gargoyle 6
Price


Hello, Mels. Look at Granite Gargoyle. Now look at me. Now back to Granite Gargoyle, now back to me! Sadly, Granite Gargoyle isn’t me, but as long as its controller has mana available, it could probably hold me off, but its controller has to tap out sometime. Look down. Back up. What’s happening? Granite Gargoyle is getting bolted by the controller of Mantis Rider! What about that ability? Back at Granite Gargoyle. Its controller’s tapped out, and unable to do that thing it loves. Look again. The Gargoyle’s controller has just pitched a couple of Apes to pump its butt! Anything is possible now that Granite Gargoyle is off The Reserved List. I’m on a giant insect.

{Illusionary Mask}
Illusionary Mask 22
Price

Look, I’m glad the mask exists, because without it, the morph mechanic wouldn’t exist. Indeed, morph only came about because WotC was trying to update the Gatherer wording of Illusionary Mask, and they realized there was potential in the ability. Without morph, there’d be no manifest or megamorph. I actually like megamorph, it’s just the name is a bit too on the nose, and also not mega enough (mebbe if it gave two +1/+1 counters instead of just the one).

I also know that reading that updated wording, and its various Byzantine errata, causes a loss of -20 SAN. Good luck getting your liquefied brain matter to stop trickling out of your ears. Illusionary Mask is right where it belongs. The only thing keeping it from the burn pile is both its progeny, and the fact that you can tell just by looking that the effect is powerful, even if you have no idea how it works, what it does, or even how to use it!

{Kudzu}
Kudzu 23
Price

Repeatable Land Destruction is a no-no! I don’t care about Kudzu’s various callbacks, RLD is completely unfun. End of story. The only thing keeping Kudzu from The Pile is the fact that its victim has control over when to tap the enchanted land, and what subsequent land it will be attached to. That, and the fact that it’s rather slow.

{What up my Liches}
Lich 3
Price


Lich is just so flavorful, so interesting, that it should be reprinted. “Lich” effects don’t show up all that often, but when they do, they’re instantly recognizable, and almost all of them are inherently powerful.¹



Lich was even the progenitor of this drawback, which has quite the pedigree. Lich is a card that I desperately want to see reprinted, even if it does absolutely goose egg, just not in Standard, where it’d either be too powerful, or too weak due to all the Naturalize effects built into every set.

{Natural Selection}
Natural Selection 24
Price

The only thing keeping this complete and utter affront to the color pie from The Pile is that at the time of its printing, they didn’t exactly know what the color pie was (or would be). Portent, Ponder, and Preordain did it right.

{Raging River}
I ain’t goin’ your way, get outta my way!
Raging River 4
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Normally, with a current templating this complicated, I’d be inclined to leave Raging River right where it is, but I’m feeling particularly generous today. I think it might have something to do with the rains we’ve been having lately. In any case, once you wrap your head around the Magic-rules-ese, it’s actually a rather simple concept: there’s a river raging through the middle of the battlefield, dividing it into a left bank & a right bank, and nonflying creatures must stay on their own side. It’s incredibly flavorful, and would be perfect for a Commander set.

{Rocing the Kasbah}
Roc of Kher Ridges 7
Price


I’m so upset that I can’t find the horrible pun someone posted about Chandra and Nissa taking a romantic Kher Ridge ride! That one took me about two minutes to get.

Does anyone remember what NM/M Alpha Phantom Monsters were going for before they reprinted it in Eternal Masters and Iconic Masters? Did anyone really care that their resale value probably tanked? Or was everyone just like. “Sweet! A 3/3 flier for four, at !”? Or were they all like “Eh, it’s ok.”? Seriously though, Roc of Kher Ridges should NOT cost $150! Oh, excuse me, $149.99! The Roc²



wasn’t too good of a creature when it was printed; most other creatures of the time were just too terrible. With our upcoming return to Dominaria, it may be a while before we can get back to the Kher Ridges, but when we do, I’ll be very upset if I don’t see the Roc & all his minions.

{The Granddaddy of Them All}
Rock Hydra 5
Price


Again, though the templating is quite wordy³ and complex, I’m feeling generous.



Despite its full textbox, the templating is MUCH easier to understand, especially if you’ve played Magic for any length of time. Rock Hydra may feel like a color break in several places, but it’s such an important piece of the game’s history, and its original wording is so deep into flavor, that I feel we can risk reprinting it in Commander or Conspiracy.

{Pot of bubbling mystery muck}
Sedge Troll 8 (downgraded from to )
Price


At the time I wrote this, I’d been cooking a stock for about 4 or 5 days straight, so I can totally relate to the “thick paste”. I eat bone, and this is the easiest way to soften them up.

Anyway, even despite the retiring of regeneration, there’s still enough support for it that I’d feel comfortable in reprinting Sedge Troll in Standard. I’d even downgrade it to , to follow Hedge Troll’s lead.

{Time Vault}
Time Vault 25
Price

Cards like Voltaic Key, Unbender Tine, and Unwinding Clock still exist, and are still legal in all formats, so no, Time Vault does not get a reprint, other than the one it got in Vintage Masters.

{2HG in da Howze}
Two-Headed Giant of Foriys 9 (downgraded from to )
Price


First off, I feel like I should address the terrible pun right off the bat. Foriys is pronounced “four-eyes”. No, I’m not kidding. 2 heads, Foriys. Ho ho ho.

Anyway, the Giant is, quite honestly, just ok. Masters Edition IV even saw fit to reprint it at :unc:, and who am I to argue with that? Although, to be honest, if it were printed today, R&D would recognize the nonbo of trample+block an additional creature for what it is, and prolly would’ve changed the second ability to menace.

{Vesuva Lives}
Vesuvan Doppelganger 10
Price


Clones that also do something else are few and far between, but their numbers are steadily growing. Vesuvan Doppelganger does three things: it clones, it uniquely doesn’t copy color, and it can change what it’s cloning. Doppelganger deserves a second shot, especially considering recent Clone innovations such as Vesuvan Shapeshifter & Progenitor Mimic

{Shirtless and swol William Shatner}
Veteran Bodyguard 11
Price


And now you can’t unsee it! Just picture that eyepatch strap in your dreams, my little ones…

If my provided examples are/were fine for Standard, then Veteran Bodyguard should be, too.

{I would like to solve the puzzle}
Wheel of Fortune 26
Price

I’ve played against all the Wheels, and I can tell you right now, they’re not fun to play against. Even worse are things like Teferi’s Puzzle Box, Mindmoil and Arjun, the Shifting Flame, because in all mentioned cases (unless you’re playing selfmill, or a deck that abuses drawing massive numbers of cards each turn), you just know your deck is NOT equipped to take advantage of whatever dubious benefits might be eked out from these cards. Wheel stays where it is.

{I need to buy more black ink}
Word of Command 27
Price

Look, I get what they were trying to do with Word of Command (it says so, quite conveniently, right on the original wording), but the actual rules kinda don’t actually work that way. That’s why you have this abomination of a paragraph. Yes, without Word of Command, we might never have gotten Mindslaver (and, in a bit of Inceptioning, without Mindslaver, we never would’ve gotten Word of Command’s current wording!) and its line, but now that we have those cards, let’s all just admit that we don’t need Word of Command, and thank it for its contribution to the game.